Love and Death
by xXShadow-KissedXx
Summary: **ABUSE** Aimee is absed, for a long time. No one cares if shes alive or breathing, they all wish she'd dissapear. Bill and Tom Kaulitz are the new bad boys in town. Will Bill find his true love? Will Aimee trust him enough to talk to him?   Tokio Hotel
1. Valentines Day is for Losers

Ah, good old Valentines day, love in the air; Love. Who really gives a fuck anyways? I hated seeing all these mushy emotions going around, but knowing what it means for me, I could never like Valentines day. Today was also my birthday, 17 years old. 17 years of knowing nothing but pain and heartache my whole life. Your probably wondering; who is this bitch droning on about her depressing life? Well hello there, my name is Aimee Karoline. My close friends call me Rayne though, which is my middle name.

I'm nothing special. Dirty Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, skinny, emo, depressed. I just wish I had something good to hold onto in life. Trust me, I have nothing going for me. Today was just another beginning to the nowhere I'm headed to. The dark abyss of nothingness if I'm lucky enough.

I hop out of bed wincing at the pain I caused myself, and sauntered over to my closet. Black. I wore nothing but it; bright colors just didn't represent me. I picked out a band t-shirt and some skinny jeans, changed carefully and swiftly. Then I listened. Dead quiet. My dad must be gone for work already. He's the local Newspaper editor, which causes for a bizarre schedule.

I do my makeup a brown eye shadow, outlined in coal black eyeliner and mascara and I was ready for school. School was my own personal hell. Kids were horrible and unfriendly, backstabbers and fakes. I don't really hang around many people, I talk to few, and I don't have a best friend. Best friends mean trusting people, and I couldn't ever trust people. I am burdened with too much, and I don't want to share with others. I'm an outcast, but that's alright, it just makes my not talking to people job, easier.

I grab my bag and start walking. I go to a small school, full of preppy bitches. I'm the only one who stands out, or dares to stand out. Unlike them, I don't give a fuck about what they have to say, yeah it gets to me, sometimes if it builds up too much, it might make me cry, but I'll never show them how much power they have over me. I wouldn't benefit from that, they'd love it too much.

Almost to school, and it starts to sprinkle, only my luck I swear. It was such a beautiful day, but now its ruined. Oh well, I'm sure by the end of the day it will fit my mood perfectly. I shifted my bag on my shoulder and stepped into hell. I didn't feel like dealing with people today. A new beginning to the trimester, new classes, hopefully new faces, and a new chance. I picked up my schedule and walked to my locker.

I glanced down. German, Art, Algebra 2, English, and History. Damn. German that early in the morning. I shrugged off my jacket and shoved it in my locker. And headed off towards class. I had it with 2 acquaintances, they weren't friends or enemies. Class was boring. They whole day was freaking boring. Trying to cut down on my cussing there. It wont last long, I already know. Art was uneventful, didn't know anyone in there. Lunch was next and I didn't eat. Long story behind it, I just cant eat without permission, because if I do… he'll know.

I trudged to the library, the only other place I can go instead of lunch. Someone flagged me down.

"Hey!" They waved in my face. It was a tall chubby kid.

I awkwardly stood there. "Hi." I managed.

"Don't talk much, do you?" He laughed. "I'm Alex by the way." He smiled happily at me.

"I'm Aimee. Not to sound rude, but, why are you talking to me?" I pushed some hair out of my face.

His smile faltered. "Actually I was wondering, if you'd like to go out sometime?" He has got to be kidding me. I stared at him blankly.

"I don't even know you, and your asking me out?" Bull.

Just then, I saw his nasty friends snickering in the background. Of course it was only a joke. It always way. I sighed.

"Well yeah?" He chuckled. "Maybe I could teach you to be less of a bitch?" His face grew serious.

"Ha right. Maybe I can teach you to grow a pair of balls, who calls a girl a bitch anyways? Grow some respect you douche bag!" I was not feeling getting picked on today. My self esteem don't need it.

Him and his friends busted out with laughter. "Oh no! Emo girl stood up for herself, I'm so scared." He faked a jump at me. "Go cut yourself you fucking weirdo, no one would even care if you died or went missing. You're a waste of space, and a waste of my time." He turned abruptly and went back to his clones. All dressed in pastels and Aeropostale. They all laughed and walked away.

What he said was true. No one would care if I went missing. I know I sound like a total teenager, but it's the truth.

Thy day dragged on forever, I got cussed out, made fun of, and joked on all day. Its horrible that I have to keep all these emotions bottled up inside of me. No one would want to listen anyways.

Valentines day. Fuck you.

I heard whispers behind me. About me, nonetheless. I felt a tug on my hair, and I turned around.

Hanna the school bitch was sitting there in all her preppy cheerleader glory. She looked perfect, black hair, blue eyes, curvy and compact. She was beautiful. Too bad her attitude ruins her. "Do you have a valentine today Aims?" She asked. With her stupid name she tried to call me, when she was about to turn total bitch.

"Nope, how about you?" I don't see why I even talked to her. She don't need the satisfaction for what she's about to do or say to me.

She looked like she was hurt. She gasped real big. "Well duh. As you probably know, I'm dating star of the football team, Daniel. He told me he has something romantic set up for us, isn't he the sweetest?" Apparently it was a rhetorical question. She sighed and clicked her tongue. "Aw poor Aims, but of course you wouldn't know about being romantic now would you? Considering, you've never had a date in your life." Cue Bitch mode.

"Aha! Nice one. Coming from the slut who dated the whole football team. How long does poor Daniel have until you dump him? Probably until after you hit it and quit it right?" I said smoothly.

"You emo bitch! You have no right to talk." She stuttered out.

"I don't give a fuck alright?"

"Just wait, tomorrow you'll wish you could never show your face at this school again. You stupid bitch." She whispered quietly, to where only I could hear.

The bell rang, and she left. Angry. Too bad, I already wish I didn't have to show my face here ever again. I loved being a "bitch." I walked down the halls, and of course people threw paper balls at me, and tried to trip me. Nothing new.

Thunder shook the whole school, and I knew I was going to be in for it walking home. I grabbed my jacket and took off. It was raining really bad, and there was a lot of lightning. I took off at a sprint, running towards my house, I refused to call it home. It was my other hell hole, even worse than school, if that could even be possible. It was.

I was down my street when I saw the moving trucks. I was slightly intrigued, because in my 17 years, I have never seen people moving here. They were moving in across the street. I guess I'll be able to see them tomorrow, if its hopefully sunny, there would be no way I would wait outside in the rain, just to glimpse at the new people, who I'm sure is just as preppy as the rest of this stupid place. I glance to where my house is.

Shit. My dads home already. Going to keep his word to his promise for me tonight. Great. I stood hesitantly at the front door, and slowly turned the knob. I took off my jacket and put it and my bag in the corner. He came out from the kitchen holding a beer.

"Happy birthday darling." He slurred. "Remember what I promised you right?"

How could I forget? I nodded, because I knew he didn't like when I didn't answer. He came over to me and yanked me by my hair to the ground. He kicked me, and called me a whore and slut, every other name in the book. Nothing I couldn't handle. He abused me almost every night now. He only didn't when he was passed out or away on business trips. He made me hate my life so much, high school made me hate my life so much, why did I have to be born?

He dragged me to my room by the hem of my shirt and shut the door. He tossed me on the bed, and used me. I hated being used, it made me feel dirty. The punishment was over early. I had 2 minutes to dress before he came back. So I just changed into sleep clothes. Knowing I didn't want to go into the box uncomfortable. I slipped my cell phone into my bra so I could tell the time. He came back then.

He opened my closet door and shoved me in, not forgetting to lock it from the outside. I wasn't going anywhere. Darkness. Oh how I was scared of it. It absolutely terrified me. Bad things lived in the dark, things I don't want to think about, but I cant help but to. I opened up a loose floorboard found what I was looking for. And cut. It made me feel alive and good, unlike all the negative comments people have to say to me.

I finally tried to sleep and succumbed to the blackness.


	2. Awkward Encounters

**Sorry I didn't get to properly introduce you guys to my story :3**

**I'm going to warn you guys, there is probably going to be a lot more abuse in the story. And I want to thank Shaker10 for being my first review, and for being the best advise giver ever for my story ^-^**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 2: Awkward encounters

I was drifting. Drifting into the blackness of sleep, or the not so happy morning that was sure to be awaiting for me behind the closet doors. I slightly whimpered when my foot kicked something over and it fell on my tender ribs. That had to be one of the worst beatings yet. Next year I would be free, I was counting the days. I was about to say screw school and just sleep off the pain, but a low thumping sound woke me up fully. It was too annoying to go back to sleep. It was coming from out my window, it must have been the new neighbors.

I checked the time on my cell phone. 6AM. Great. I tried the sliding part on the closet door, no such luck, it was tightly shut. I sighed worriedly and tried to think about what I was going to do to get out. I glanced at my phone, and dialed the house number, I hope He wouldn't get too mad, but we did have a happy family charade to keep up with…. I just hope he will understand. One ring… two rings… three rings… I heard him shuffle about in the next room.

He answered with a groggy, "Hello?"

"Dad?" I asked hesitantly, not knowing what to do or say, not knowing if he would approve of me calling him dad without people around. I mean what else am I going to call him by, his actual name? That's awkward even for me, and we don't even have a father daughter relationship.

"What the fuck Aimee!" He sneered into the phone, and I involuntarily crouched back into the closet, like his iron grip could snatch me right through the phone.

"Can you let me out? Don't we have an appearance to keep up?" I tried to sway him. I just couldn't take it anymore in this closet, it was starting to get a little claustrophobic.

"Yeah, so?" He questioned.

"People will start to notice if I miss school…" I trailed off.

He grumbled something incoherently. Then the line went dead. I vaguely heard rummaging around the house, I knew I won, he was coming to let me out. My bedroom door creaked open, and I was still scared of what was going to happen, with Him nothing really makes sense. I quickly shoved my phone in my bra, and got ready to face his wrath. The closet door started to jiggle a little bit, and I saw light. He smiled creepily down at me. I shrank back, and he only smiled wider. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me to my bedroom floor.

"Okay, you little skank, your out. Now get ready, you have an errand to run before school!" He bent down to my level and placed a sloppy kiss on my cheek before he slapped it with all his force, which sent my head flying and hit a chair. He chuckled darkly and left the room. I winced and let out a few tears. It wasn't as bad as I thought. It could have always been worse. I just kept reminding myself that.

I got up slowly shedding a few more tears and walked over to my body length mirror. My face was red swollen, and hurt to the touch, and you could tell I had been crying. I prodded at my ribs before I took a look, they felt brittle, like they would snap at any moment. I lifted up my shirt and literally gasped out loud, purple bruises were everywhere, in the form of hand prints, and you could tell I had been kicked. I sniffled as I shrugged out of my clothes, ashamed of my body.

I picked out a long sleeved purple shirt to wear; long sleeved to hide my recent cuts. Then a pair of black skinny jeans with a purple studded belt, it had a few missing studs in it. My converse were my life, the canvas was black, and they had neon rainbows and peace signs on them. They were the opposite of me, which is why I liked them so much for some reason. I put on a thin line of eyeliner with my brown eye shadow, I know you would have thought I would wear black, but brown makes my blue eyes stand out more. I'm such a girl. I smiled sadly to myself.

I looked at my cell. My eyes grew huge, I was going to be late! And He wanted me to do something before then too. I put my bag on and walked to the living room. He was waiting patiently for me. I don't know what for, usually he's gone, or yelling at me. This was definitely strange.

"You know the new neighbors right?" He asked me. I nodded so he continued. "I think it's time for me to get some new friends," Why was this relevant to me? "And I want you to go over to their house, and welcome them to the neighborhood." He crossed his arms and smirked. He knew how much I fucking hated to talk to people.

I nodded. "Now go."

I walked outside, and it was breezy. I loved the feeling when spring is almost here, not too hot, not too cold. Perfect in my opinion. Our house was the last house on the left, on a dead end, and we lived at the bottom of a fucking hill, so when it rains, we get most of the water. Our house was next to a gigantic forest too! Yup. I was stalling. Insert smiley.

The new neighbors house was set on top of a hill too. I walked across the street, and directly up their front lawn. The door was open, but I decided to knock anyways. A very cheery woman answered the door. "Hello there, I'm Simone what can I do for you?" She was very pretty. Tall, chubby, flowing curly black hair. Beautiful.

"Nice to meet you Simone, I'm Aimee, I live just across the street, my dad wanted me to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood." I held out my hand but she didn't shake it. Her eyes sparkled and she pulled me into a hug. I almost winced, but held it back. We pulled apart, and she looked genuinely happy. Eh happy people, but I didn't have it in my heart to not like Simone, there was just something about her that drew me in.

"Well that was very sweet of him honey! Do come in," She beckoned me into her lovely home. "Sorry its not clean, were still unpacking and stuff."

"No need to worry," I smiled. "How are you liking this town?" I decided that I was already late to school, what's a few more minutes going to do?

She returned my smile. "It's pretty quiet, very nice too, I'm hoping we'll finally settle down somewhere. How long have you been here?" I hinted a German accent, she was quite cute.

"I've lived here my whole life," I answered back. "I don't really like it here though, too many people care about their looks, and their need to be like everybody and to fit in. I challenge the status quo." I smiled, looking down at my dark appearance.

She laughed. "My son said that too! He hates this place and he hasn't even spent a week here yet." Son? Wow, she looked really young.

"You have a son? You look really young." I flattered her by the look on her face.

"Why yes I do. I have twin boys, and a husband." Just then a car pulled up in the driveway. She hesitated for a moment. "That'll be him." She faintly smiled. "Well you should be going, you have school to attend to, tell your dad that you all are invited to dinner. I don't know when yet, so drop by soon and figure out, eh?" She smiled and walked me to the door.

"Sure thing." I smiled. "And you come visit if you like too?"

"Of course. Now get out of here kiddo." She laughed.

Her husband was talking on his phone, and didn't glance at me once as I walked past him. I looked at the time. Shit! I was going to be super late. I took off at a run. I was already 10 minutes late, but I still hated it.

I tried to calm my breathing as I walked in my 1st period. Of course everyone turned their heads to the freak. And I'm late, so I got double the stares. I took my seat at the side of the classroom, next to my acquaintances. Rin and Emily. Rin turned and gave me a WTF look, I just shrugged, I didn't have to give her an explanation, it was my business after all.

"Nice of you to join us Frau Aimee, what the excuse this time?" She asked. Snickers filling the classroom, fuck you teacher! Who knew teachers would pick on students in front of people like that. So disrespectful.

I shrugged and looked down. She sighed and kept teaching. Not like I paid attention. I fucking hated German class, because of that dumb bitch. She thought she knew what she was talking about, but she really didn't. She then gave us papers to do. We could work with a partner.

"Psst!" Rin pssssttted me. I looked at her. "Work with me!" She gave an adorable face.

"Sure." I mumbled. I moved over next to her. As soon as I sat down, she started talking about a new kid.

"Yeah, he's totally sexy, I'd tap that." She confided in me. "If I wasn't dating the love of my life." She pointed to a kid. "That's him…" She trailed off letting me take him in.

He was sort of pretty. Long black hair with highlights, wore down a little past his shoulders, band tee, skinny jeans, eyebrow piercing. I guess he could feel my stare on him, so he looked up, making eye contact with me. I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. I just couldn't look away, his chocolate brown coal lined orbs held something there. Something that intrigued me. His eyes shied away first. I looked away and held my breath. Why did I even do that in the first place?

I looked over to Rin. "Fuck yes, you guys are going to date." She stated matter-of-factly.

I gave her a shut the fuck up look. "Nope!" I popped the "p."

She laughed. "You never know right?" She changed the subject. "Him and his twin moved here the other day…" Could that have been Simone's son? He surely had her beautiful eyes. I smiled at the memory, Simone was a great person, I found myself wanting to talk to her. But pushed the feeling away, I could never grow close to someone. It would only hurt in the end.

I zoned in and out on Rin's rant about why she needs to get a job. Hell don't we all? I mean I like talking to her and all, but she always cuts me off if I'm in the middle of telling her something, and she always thinks she's right in math, and she's really not. Okay maybe she is, but still. Today was going to be different. I already knew…

"Uh helloooo!" Rin waved her hand in front of my face. I stared blankly at her. "Were you listening to anything I just said?"

I sighed. "Nope, sorry, just got a lot on my mind is all…" I didn't feel like putting up with shit today.

"It's alright, I know how you feel," She really didn't. "But anyways, New Kid is totally looking over here at you!" She smiled.

I didn't want to look, I didn't want it to be awkward, so I just glued my eyes to Rin's face, I wouldn't look, I wouldn't look…. Okay I… crap, I looked. He swiftly looked away, blushing a deep red.

"He's so into you!"

"Rin cool it! No he's not."

"You wish though!" Hm did I? I'm trying not to like him. I didn't want to be hurt.

The teacher called the class to attention. "Okay, enough worksheets, I'm choosing partners now." Everyone groaned. She sat up a device on her computer that picked names together.

Rin- Emily

Fuck there goes my acquaintances.

Marco- James

Ella- Grady

Aimee- Bill

Who the fuck is Bill? "Aimee, to the new student." The teacher informed me.

Bill looked up as I quietly walked towards him.

**BAM! Cliffy : )**

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**~Til next time.**


	3. Flirt

**Ello :3**

**Ah how I love Fridays! No school. I can actually get some sleep. No school. Fashbookey :] lol. I want to thank my 2 reviewers! [I will name all my reviewers.] OH! This is great! In clase de arte we got to paint on ceiling tiles, me and my friend made it uh-mazing. I did half Bill Kaulitz and she did half Kurt Cobain. She only painted her red background, but I did everything else, and those tiles are HUGE! Anyways, I just wanted to share to you guys, that a part of Tokio Hotel is ALWAYS going to be at my school when students look up! :3 I'm trying to upload it to my facebook, so if anyone wants to see it, PM me for my FB link. Idk how soon I can upload it though.**

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX**

***WARNING ABUSE***

Chapter 3: Flirt

I clumsily made my way over to the new kid; Bill. He kept his eyes glued to his desk, like he was too afraid to look at me, or make eye contact. He was shy, that was cute. He gently pushed some of his amazing hair out of the way. I could just run my fingers through it… Aimee, stop it! I internally scolded myself. I will not get attached, I will not get attached, I will no… He looked into my eyes… Fuck. What is wrong with me? I've never felt this way towards a person before, could I possibly have a crush on him?

I realized we were still looking at each other awkwardly, so I broke eye contact to look at Frau Adele. Bitch couldn't just let us do our work! "… sheet of paper. Now go!" The fuck? I need to quit zoning out and paying more attention. I honestly didn't want to fail. I wanted to get the grades to go far away to an out state college, for obvious reasons.

I turned to Bill, and he was nervously biting on his blackened nails. I mind as well introduce myself. I shyly said, "I'm Aimee, so you must be Bill. Nice to meet you." I smiled a bit.

He smiled small. "Yes. Can you explain this sheet to me please?" He seemed really confused. I looked down to the sheet.

"Yeah, all you have to do is write down the German phrase for the English phrase." I tried to help, but his bushy eyebrows creased in frustration. "Number one says, I am blank, in the blank you say your age, and then you write it in German." His eyes lit up, he understood.

"Ich bin sechzehn." He stated. He was looking expectantly at me, shit, he actually looked at me like I knew what he said.

I blushed. "I have no clue what you just said, sorry." I mumbled.

"It's okay Aimee." I loved how he said my name, it was to die for accent. I thought I was just going to melt right there. Crap, I am so crushing. We didn't really converse after that. I would bring up a subject, but he would just drop it, gave me the cold shoulder even. It may his first day of school, but you'd think he'd jump at an opportunity to make new friends, he was doing the exact opposite. It made me all sad inside. He reminded me of me. Is this what other people felt like when I shied away from them? Man I made other people feel like shit. My stomach grumbled really loud and I glanced around to see if anyone heard. I heard Bill chuckle lightly, and I looked over to him.

"Hungry?" He gave me a little smile.

I nodded and laughed. "Yeah, I didn't get to eat this morning." Pshh I never eat in the mornings, or hardly any other time.

"Me neither, what time do you eat lunch?"

"In the middle of second period, um 10:50 I think." I tried to remember the exact time.

He sighed and looked down on his schedule. "Ah, me too, care to sit with me?" He looked determined.

"Sure thing, so you wont be lonely." Which reminded me. "Can I see your schedule?" He handed it over to me.

German, Biology, Algebra 2, Photography and History. "Nice, we have three classes together. First, second, and fifth."

"At least, I'll have one familiar face in some of my classes."

The bell rang just then.

I touched Bill on the shoulder as he was walking away, he tensed up a little bit and turned around. "Sorry, um, look for each other at lunch right?"

He gave a curt nod, and turned on his heels. I wonder what that was about? He probably had personal space issues. I stepped into art class after walking through the halls filled with laughter towards me. They were mean and harsh whispers, sometimes I just didn't want to know, I mean what am I going to do about it anyways? Go off? All its going to get me is suspended, laughed at some more, because they actually got to the Emo kid? No. I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction. My eyes welled with unshed tears. I knew it was almost late, I was about to reach my breaking point. I took deep breaths and pushed the tears back.

The art teacher Mr. R. gave me my own corner in the room, because he knew how passionate I was about art, and he knew how cruel the kids could be to me. I sat my bag on the floor, and hopped onto the counter, taking in the room; painted art tiles filling the ceilings, replicas of famous paintings and drawings, a new kid! Another one? Could he be one of Simone's kids? Because I knew Bill was one of her sons, this guy couldn't be the twin could it? I took in his appearance.

Gangster. That's all I could some him up with. Dreadlocks, baggy clothes, cap, and a lip ring. He was sort of cute too. I didn't even try to stop myself at this point, my mind was out of whack. He had swagger. As the rest of the students filed in the classroom, I filled out the warm-up and waited for the teacher to start talking.

"Okay class, we have a new student today!" Ah how the teacher took pride in his new students. "He's from Germany!" Definitely Simone's son. "His names Tom Kaulitz, would you like to say a few things to the class?" Tom shook his head no. "Very well. Class, get out your assignment and get to work."

I got my paints out, and my stretch canvas. I was painting a picture of me and my close friend Alana. Well, used to be best friend. She hardly talks to me anymore. Fucking depressing if you ask me. We were close for 16 years, and all of a sudden, she dropped me, and stopped answering when I called. Soon after I just gave up. I sighed thinking of the memory.

"Sad?" A voice sounded right next to me, making me jump fifty billion feet.

I stared back to the other new kid. Tom. I nervously laughed. "Nah, just thinking."

He hopped up on the counter next to my painting. "That's very good ya know, I'm Tom." He laughed.

"Thank you, and hey, my names Aimee." I blushed. He seemed to be the friendly twin.

"I like you, were going to be friends now." He playfully pushed on my shoulder.

"Sure thing friend." Of course, I didn't mean it. I couldn't get too close to somebody. But maybe today was the start of something new. I'd like that a lot, I've never really had a good friend before.

"Whattchu drawing lil lady?" He had an accent, it wasn't really unclear, but it was adorable, because he was trying to be cool and cute at the same time.

I looked down at the faded memory. "Just drawing me and an old friend."

"Why aren't you guys friends anymore?" He looked kind of concerned.

"Hm, I honestly don't know what I did. One day she just stopped answering my calls. Haven't talked to her in months."

"How do you know it was your fault though?" He questioned.

"It couldn't have been hers, she was always being perfect. Perfect everything. Eh, I don't know, its confusing." I was even confused.

"Yeah sounds like it." He tsked, and ran his tongue over his lip ring.

"Did it hurt?" I randomly asked.

"You mean when I fell from heaven? Nope not at all." He grinned.

I playfully pushed him back. "No silly, your lip ring."

"Oh this? Yah, hurt like a bitch. Swelled for days! But it's all good now. I fuckin' love it." He's so conceded, in a cute way.

I giggled. What. The. Fuck. Meee? Giggle? I know. "I was thinking about getting my lip done, or my tongue. I'm not sure yet though."

"Hm tongue piercing's are hot on chicks, you know what that means." He winked. Ha. Such a perv.

I shook my head. "Naughty thoughts boy!"

"Are you going to punish me?" He licked his lips and looked at mine. Woah. Nope. Nein. Ingen. Nooo. He was such a flirt.

"Ha, right!" I gave him an awkward look.

He caught on. Probably thinking, 'not in the classroom.' He is such a guy. "My brother can pierce your tongue if you want." Um… did he have an older brother or something?

"Um I don't know. How old is he?" Uncertainty in my voice.

"Oh, he's new here too! Bill, my height, eye color, good looks, he looks like a chick though, my twin?" Ah so they were twins, and Simone's sons.

"Ah, yeah I know him. I don't know about that, how old is he anyways?"

"Oh he's 16. But he totally pierced his own tongue a couple years back, so I'm sure he could do other peoples. He wouldn't mind." He seemed a little too eager to see a piercing in my tongue.

"Maybe." I said. "Can you ask him for me?"

"Can't you ask him yourself?" He whined.

I laughed at his little kid attitude. "But please?" I whined back. "I'm going to forget! I'm always in my own little world, I know I'm not going to remember." I made a puppy dog face. "Pwease?"

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. I humpfed and fixed it. "Alright." He smiled. Tom was fun to be around. "Sie sind sehr nett." He whispered in my ear. I shuddered, and he silently laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment I guess. So thanks?" I sounded a little confused.

"Yes, a very good compliment." He winked at me. Just then Mr. R came over to my area.

"Tom, leave the lady alone so she can get some work done." He said sternly. But Tom wasn't in trouble, it's the art teacher, he's freaking amazing. But just then the lunch bell rang. I laughed at Mr. R's expression. We all filed out the room, going to lunch Tom walked by my side. And we also saw Bill.

"Bill!" Tom yelled among the frenzy of students rushing off to lunch. I never understood the rush. Shit. The food is shit.

"Mein bruder und Aimee!" He exclaimed once he got to us through the students.

They chit chatted on our way to the lunchroom.

"Ready to eat?" Called Bill, to me.

Oh shit. What's my excuse going to be…

**~ I know I said I would write until I got to 3,000 words… BUT! I ran out of things to say in this chapter, and my writings usually suck if I force words out, so I guess little by little.**

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**:D**


	4. Tongue Piercings

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia**

**I'm having a great time writing this story :D It's so fun :] You guys should check out my other story; Foreign Exchange! If you like Twilight and dark stories. Hmm.. Sittin here with my kitty on a perfect Saturday. Lol, yes I'm lazy. Bow chicka wow wow. : ) and very hyper considering I woke up around 1. XD okay on with the story… oh and my Word Document thingy wont let me say piercing[s] so I have to use a ['] idek its weird, and Bill and tom was going to be 17, but it wouldn't let me type 17 in german, so they are 16 lol.**

***WARNING ABUSE***

Chapter 4: Tongue Rings

I slightly panicked, what was I going to tell them? Bill heard my stomach growling earlier, so I couldn't use that card and say I wasn't hungry. Ah, I have an idea. "I forgot my lunch money today, so I can't eat…" I trailed off, looking at the twins. I hope they would let it slide. They didn't.

"Can you charge your lunch?" Bill asked, concern in his voice. "You were hungry earlier." Aw, he was worried for me.

"No, they wont let me do that any more, they said I charged lunch too much last year." Which wasn't a lie, because I really did charge my lunch too much last year, and He figured out because the school called concerned about my health. They asked all these stupid questions like if my home life was okay, and if he made enough money to send me to school with some. And then he got mad that I was eating. He didn't like that.

"Well wait here a second, we'll be back soon. Try not to miss us too much!" Tom winked at me. I blushed.

I picked out a seat so they could see me when they walk out of the line. The cafeteria was huge! They've changed it from last year, the wooden floors were now tiled, and the round tables were now grey tables that are rectangle with circle twisty seats. Yeah, I haven't been in the cafeteria since first trimester last year. I've had an eating disorder since last year. If I did eat it would be little things here and there. He don't like me having energy, it means I would have strength. I put my head down on the table, I don't know how much longer I could take this stupid place.

Laughter erupted from the back of the cafeteria, I chose not to look up, because it was most likely about me. Stupid people. I just wish I could transfer out of this horrible place called High School. But He would never allow it. I heard movement and people sitting down in front of me. I looked up and saw the twins. They were gorgeous. They shouldn't be sitting here with me. I'm a nobody in this school, a nobody that everyone knows because of how I dress, and how I'm anti social.

"Here ya go sunshine!" Tom grinned at me. I looked down to what he was talking about. He did not just buy me food!

"You didn't have to do that you know." He had some chips, an apple, and bottle of water pushed towards me. It was very generous.

Bill piped up. "But we wanted to Aimee!" He was adorable. I think he liked saying my name, not to sound conceited or anything, but he says it way too much. "We didn't know what you like to eat so we just got you something every teen likes." He smiled while eating his apple.

I laughed. "Thanks," I took my apple and shined it on my shirt. I took a little bite and forced it down. I was going to have to do something about it later. "Oh yeah, Bill, do you do piercing's?" I drank some water.

"Yah, told you, you wouldn't forget!" Tom sang. Which made me blush somehow.

"It depends, what do you want pierced?" He asked.

"Hm, maybe my tongue or lip, I'm not sure yet."

"Yah, I can do either." He seemed happy, he must like to pierce things. In a non-weird way.

Maybe I shouldn't get my lip pierced, He might rip it out, out of meanness during one of his pointless beating sessions. I sighed. Then twins were looking at me carefully, like I would break any second. They weren't allowed to feel sorry for me. I plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah I'd rather have my tongue pierced, it'd be easier to hide from my dad." It felt weird to call him 'dad' because I was always calling him Him or He in my mind.

Tom started up. "Yeah, gi.." I kicked him under the table. He yelped. "Why'd you do that for?" He feigned a sad/mad look towards me.

I laughed. "That was for whatever perverted joke you were about to make." I leaned on my hand.

Bill snickered. "She knows you too well." He smiled at me, and we all three laughed. "If you come over to our house after school I can do it then?"

"Ok, sounds like a plan, are we going to walk?" I asked.

"Yeah, walking seems easier, and I don't know what my dad would think of if he'd have someone else in his car. Its no offense to you, but he's a little strange when it comes to people in his car." Bill confided.

"It's fine, my dad's the same way. He don't really like people in his house, I've never had friends over."

"Never?" They both asked in wonder.

"Well my old friend Alana used to come over when I was younger, but I mostly just went to her house. And that's all really." I smiled sadly. "I'm horrible at being a teenager." I laughed.

"Not really, if it wasn't for our mom we wouldn't be able to have friends over, or be able to have a life." Bill stated. "Your dads probably being over protective." If he only knew.

"Yeah. Did your tongue piercing hurt?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Not really, I did it myself though. I numbed my tongue with Novocain first, and it really helped. The swelling is the worst part, and you have to eat like liquidly foods, or mashed potatoes until the swelling stops. But its worth it. It's so neat feeling." Bill was like a little kid. Adorable. Getting excited over little things.

That somehow made me excited. "I can't wait, I've always wanted it done.." Tom was about to speak, but I hurried over him. "And no Tom, its not because of those reasons…"

He looked shocked. "I never said it was because of those reasons!" He seemed hurt.

"Nah, but you implied it." I smiled at him.

"So?"

We all laughed again, at Tom's eagerness and perverted-ness.

"Oh, what's your schedule Tom?" I asked.

Biology, Art, Algebra 2, English & History.

"Cool, we have the rest of the day together!" I exclaimed.

"Nice! I hate this fucking school, too many preps… I have been made fun of all day! How about you Bill?"

He huffed. "This school is dumb."

"I've been living here since I was born, the name calling only gets worse." I said with a sad voice.

"It's okay Aimee, don't let them get to you!" Bill said, and flashed me a smile.

"It's kind of hard not to, every time I turn around a new rumor has been spread about me. But I'll never break down in front of them. Its not worth it, I'll never give them the satisfaction." I seemed determined.

"Yah, that's how we think too," Tom threw in. "People just need to get a life. And you need to start eating more, you're tiny!"

I looked at my apple, I only took that tiny bite out of it. I decided to just open the chips instead. I took one out and looked at it, normal flavor, I've never had them before. Never ate any kind of junk food before. "Are these supposed to be good?" They smelled awful.

The twins' faces went into shock. "You've never eaten those before?" They both said at the same time.

I laughed. "I'm serious, I have never really had junk food before, my dad's a health freak." Not really, I just didn't want to sound too weird.

"Well, those are amazing! Try one please?" Tom whined.

"But they smell awful!" I complained.

"They smell like heaven!" Bill countered. "You have to eat a whole chip so you get the full effect, try it!"

I shoved a chip in my mouth. They weren't that bad. "Eh." I stated.

"Puh-lease! Chips are way better than 'eh!'" Tom stated.

"Well okay then, their okay." I smiled. "I'm not going to eat them so you guys can have them." I put the bag down on the middle of the table. Bill snatched them up first. I laughed at him.

"I should text mom and tell her Aimee's coming over after school, and make sure to tell dad not to pick us up." Tom thought out loud. Bill nodded with his mouth full.

"Try not to get caught, you can't have your phone out here." I told him.

"Aiight." He held his phone under the table, and texted away. "You have a cell?" He asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, want my number?"

"Sure." I handed him my phone, and he gave me his. He had the Verizon Thunderbolt. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen. It made my crappy Kyocera Cricket touch screen look out of date. I silently placed my number in his phone, and took a picture of myself.

"I'm next!" Bill said excitedly. He slid his phone over to me. He had the new Droid phone by Verizon. I wish I could afford nice things like that, I loved their phones. I put my number in. "Your phones so tiny Aimee! It's cute."

"Wie ihr…" Tom added. Bill elbowed him and laughed.

"Okayyy, this whole speaking German around me isn't going to be good." I humped and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Aw, poor little American!" Tom said. "I didn't say anything bad about you." He smiled huge. He looked down under the table. "Mom said that it was ok."

"Anyways! What did you just say in German?" He was not going to change the subject.

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't bad." He grinned. "Just trust me on it ok?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked lamely.

"Not really!" Tom boomed with laughter. Was it even that funny? Oh well, I tried not to let them get me down. Even though it was only one little comment, it still made me feel bad, because I didn't know what he could have said.

The bell rang just then.

"Come on Aimee! Don't want to be late." Tom hooked his arm with mine and Bill hooked his arm around my other arm. And that's how we walked down the hallway. We dropped Bill off at his class first then me and Tom made our way to art class. Mr. R made him go to his seat so I could get some work done, because I honestly would rather be talking to Tom than doing my painting, so that was a good thing. I hopped onto the counter and put every emotion into my artwork.

XxX

We all had Algebra 2 together. Fuck my life. If I couldn't pay attention and understand first, now I actually have a distraction, and a reason to fail. I used to understand math. Now I just don't, and I don't even try anymore, because its like a failed cause. I'm never going to get the new stuff. Were working on making equations to the nth power. Then we were going to make graphs to match out equation. The fuck? Bill and Tom sat on the other side of the room, I sat off to the left in the back row. There were only 8 people in the class. I looked over to the twins, they didn't seem like they were having any problems. Fuck it, I'm laying my head down.

Not like it mattered. As soon as I laid my head down Mrs. Lister came over and shook me. Gawd. That hurt like a bitch, I didn't show any emotions though. "Are you okay today Aimee?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't get anything were doing in here." I said bluntly.

"Well what are you having trouble on?" Didn't I just tell her I didn't understand anything?

"Everything. Like what is the nth term and where does it go? Sorry. I used to be good at math."

"Don't worry about it. I'll help you, go grab some paper and sharpen your pencil." She pulled a desk closer to mine. Fuck. Now I'm going to have to learn this pointless shit.

I got up and walked to the back of the room, as I passed the twins they pretended to trip me. Bill got up and followed me. "What are you doing?" He asked me as I grabbed some paper.

"Trying not to fail math apparently. I don't understand anything that's going on. And now the teachers going to help me. I just don't fucking get it."

"Its not that hard, just stay focused, and you'll understand. I promise." He smiled and went back to sit down.

I sharpened my pencil and went back to Mrs. Lister…

XxX

English class flew by, Tom sat behind me, which made it an easy access for him to poke me on my sides. It hurt like crazy, but I didn't want to make him all sad, so I just hid the pain, and laughed it off. Were all sitting in History now. Tom sat in front of me, and Bill sat to my right, an aisle separating us. Hanna never kept her word of making my life a living hell today. Whatever. I can't stand her. Speaking of the preppy bitch she tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around.

"What?" I asked bluntly.

She feigned hurt. "I was only going to ask you a question," She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You know the new kids right?"

I nodded.

"Is he a fag?" She whispered to me jerking her head to where Bill sat oblivious.

"I don't fucking know Hanna." I copped an attitude. "I'm sick of you and your bullshit." I stated.

"Well I'm sick of you and your breathing." She yelled in my face.

"What the fuck ever, at least I don't cheat on every guy I've ever dated." I yelled back.

"Ladies!" Mrs. Brangers called.

We ignored her. "Well at least I CAN get a guy!" She yelled at me.

"WHORE!" I yelled.

"Hanna, Aimee out in the hall NOW!" The teacher pulled us apart. And yanked us to the hallway by our wrists, the door slammed shut. "Now I want to know what's going on, and I want the truth."

Hanna acted all innocent. "I didn't do anything to the freak, she just turned around and started bad talking me!" Fake tears welled up in her eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "Right. You were about to start a rumor about Bill." I defended my friend.

"A rumor? Right. I was only asking you a question." She was retarded.

"Yeah, asking if someone is a fag sure is just a question, I bet once I gave you an answer, you were going to twist my words and use them against me!" I semi yelled in her face.

"Ok ladies," Mrs. Brangers started. "I believe Aimee. You switched up your story too many times Hanna. First you said Aimee started it, then you said you were only asking a question."

"Whatever." She mumbled.

"I want you to move your stuff to the other side of the room, to prevent future conflict, got that?" I love Mrs. Brangers.

"Sure thing. Takin' the bitches side." She mumbled.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." She opened up the door, and ushered us both inside. Bill and Tom gave me questioning looks. I gave them looks that said I'd explain later. FUCK THIS CLASS. I cant wait until schools over to hang out with Bill and Tom. I looked at the clock. 2:14 class would be over in 6 minutes. Tom turned around to me since we weren't doing anything else in that period.

"She seems like a bitch." He said glancing at Hanna.

"Yeah, well she IS!" I said agitated. "Sorry bad day, it will be better when I get outside and the wind hits me."

"Why the wind?"

"It calms me down, and puts me in a better mood. And I don't want to hang out with you guys, if I'm going to feel bitchy." I laughed. I looked over at Bill and he was laying his head down. He was adorable.

"Ah, it's ok I understand, this school is hell. And I'm concerned for Bill, no matter where we move, people always tease Bill about his looks." He confided in me.

"I know. Out of everyone in this lame school, I can relate. People seem to judge people before they get to know them here. And it bugs the shit out of me." I said. Tom laughed. "What are you laughing at?"

He caught his breath. "It's you. You are fucking adorable when you cuss."

I decided to be flirty. "Well you'd better get used to it, because I cuss a lot." I winked at him.

He shifted in his seat.

The bell rang!

XxX

As we arrived at the Twins' house Simone was in the kitchen. "Mutter, were home with our friend!" Bill bellowed through the house.

"Oh I can't wait to meet them!" She turned around. "Oh Aimee hello!" She pulled me into a huge hug.

"Nice to meet you again!" I smiled warmly at her.

"I take it you guys know each other?" Tom asked.

"Yes! Aimee lives right across the street!"

"AWESOME!" The twins yelled in unison.

**~I broke 3,000 words =] sorry if the ending seems a little rushed. I'm being rushed off the computer, my mom needs Farmville *Pssh* Anyways I had to update today, because I'm not going to be here tomorrow, and I don't know how soon I can get on my laptop after that… I love you guys :D **

*****REVIEW***:D**


	5. Rette Mich

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia**

**I'm going to time myself on how long it takes me to write this chapter, and I have to warn you guys… I get distracted.. Fashbookey, random crap on the internet, I start to read different fan fictions… I just sit there lol. So I'm squeezing this chapter in before I'm gone tomorrow.. I'm going to my friends house to celebrate Kurt Cobain's birthday.. Were weird I know… I also want to celebrate Bill & Tom's but I always forget! This year I'm determined to remember. ANYYWAYYSSS!**

**Start Time: 4:10 AM**

Chapter 5: Rette Mich

***WARNING ABUSE***

We were in Bill's room now. It had boxes everywhere piled up, in corners, on his bed. His room was huge! Walls painted a deep blue, not the blue that looks cheap and horrible when it dries either. It looked fancy, and you could also it was the room of a teenager. Black lace curtains, blackout shades. I hated those mother fuckers. They were so hard to work. His bed looked pretty comfortable too. Nice and big. He just finished putting his fluffy black blankets on the bed when I walked in. Simone insisted on him doing so, said it was a neat thing to do for guests.

"Bill, your room is amazing! It's way bigger than I would have ever imagined a bedroom being." I said in awe, still taking in the ginormous room. I laughed.

"Isn't your room this big?" He asked.

"Hardly! Your room is like 2 of my rooms! It's insane. And your closet is like 6 of mine, mine is so tiny and compact." I would know I spend most of my time locked in it.

He laughed at my explaining skills. "Wanna do your tongue now to get it out of the way? Then we could just hang out. Even though your probably going to be in a little pain." He was adorable!

"Sure thing Bill," I wasn't scared at all. "I don't want to numb my tongue though, my mom told me if you numbed anything before you pierced it, it always hurt worse afterwards." I missed her, and her logic.

He smiled. "Your mutter is a smart lady, where does she do for a living?" He tried to make small talk. Even though he just killed conversation.

My face fell. "She passed away a while ago…" I trailed off and my eyes filled with tears, I pushed them back. 

His eyes shone with compassion. "I'm sorry Aimee, if I would have known I wouldn't have brought it up." He stepped over to hug me. His embrace was warm and friendly, I could stay in his safe arms forever. I hugged back.

After a while, I stepped back, and blinked back my unshed tears. "It's alright, she died when I was a little girl, I didn't really know much about her. All I remember about her was that she always had a weird fact or quote for something," I laughed sadly at the memory. "Her name was Angel. She was beautiful. Even though I didn't really know her, I would die if it meant she could be here again." I smiled up at him.

"I know how you feel Aimee." He smiled. "My mum had a daughter when me und Tom were little, and she died in the womb. My mom was very klutzy," He sighed sadly. "If she were to live her name would have been Susanne Sabine Kaulitz. I would die for her too, because she would still have Tom to look up to as a brother figure." He smiled. This tongue piercing session has turned into a deep heartfelt session.

It was my turn to hug him. I hesitated at first, because I remembered what happened earlier when I touched his shoulder. But now he didn't seem bothered by my touch, he felt like he was holding on for dear live. "Rette mich Aimee." He whispered lowly in my ear. His voice full of so much pain. Maybe he spoke in German so he wouldn't have to confess his real feelings out loud. I was determined. I was determined to learn German for him. No matter how much of a bitch Frau Adele was.

We broke apart from each other, and we both smiled sadly at each other. We just had a moment that made us closer. He broke the silence first. "Well lets get the show on the road shall we?" He started. "Can you help me search some boxes for my tongs?" I nodded. "Yah, they should be in a black metal case with skulls on it, everything I need is in there." There was like 7 boxes in his room.

"I'll start over here? If that's okay with you." I pointed to a far corner by his huge closet. He nodded an ok. He was going to start by his flat screen TV. Tom wasn't in here because he couldn't watch as piercing were done. He was squeamish. Which strikes me as odd, considering his lip is pierced. I ripped the tape off the box slowly. I didn't like going through peoples things, but Bill insisted. I hated being nosey though.

I started rummaging through things and placing them out on the floor, I mine as well help him unpack too. Scrawled in composition notebooks used as diaries, random necklaces, black nail polish, an old science book? This has to be the random box! Pretty expensive looking sunglasses; I pushed them on my head. A lei; I put it around my neck. I'm going to have fun with this task. 

Bill laughed at me. "What are ya doing Aimee?" 

"Having fun!" I tossed an old hat at him. He dodged and kept looking through the boxes. He was something else.

I kept looking. A German dictionary, pictures of a cat, I looked on the back of the picture: Kasimir. Random piercing, MP3 player, CD's of German rock bands, photo albums, a bag of butterflies, rings, belts, rainbow necklace, toothbrush, gloves, earphones, duffle bag. Nope no skull case. I moved onto the next box. Which happened to be full of clothes only. The next box had plates and silverware in it. "Bill?" I asked.

"Yah?" He replied, still preoccupied with boxes.

"Why is there kitchen stuff in here?" 

He looked confused. "Oh, nein! That's supposed to go into the kitchen! Place it by the door and we can take it out later." I did as he asked. "Endlich! Dummheit!" He exclaimed. "I found it Aimee."

"Finally! Sorry we had to tear up your room though." I stated sad, I really did feel sorry that we had to make his room a huge mess.

"Nein, don't worry about it. Come here." He sat on his bed, and patted a spot next to me. Oh no, this was seriously about to happen. I sat next to him while he sterilized everything. I was slightly panicking. "Ready darling?" He asked me. I couldn't talk, so I just nodded. He picked up the tongs and I stuck out my tongue and closed my eyes. I felt the cool metal of the tongs clench onto my tongue.. "Eins… zwei… drei…" A split pain went through my tongue, my eyes popped wide open. "Easy there." He stared into my eyes. "It's almost done." He soothed me.

He placed the metal bar in and slowly took out the needle, and screwed in the bottom part. He wiped my spit on my shirt and laughed. "That's all, did it hurt?"

"Das aw?" Fuck I couldn't talk. "It hut a wittle!" Damnit!

He chuckled and ruffled my hair. "Yeah that's all! Man this is great, you talk so adorable now!" What was up with everyone thinking I was adorable lately? I wasn't all that great. "TOM!" Bill yelled. I heard mumbling from the other room, and Tom walked through Bill's door.

"Done?" He asked me. I only nodded. "Try and talk, because when Bill did it, he was fucking hilarious! And the Novocain mane him drool all over himself." He cracked up at the old memory.

"Was you wan me ta shay?" I tried. Fuck!

They both laughed at me. "Its alright, your voice will turn back to normal with a full nights sleep, to get all your energy back. But I'll warn you now. Be prepared to have a swelled up tongue, it's gonna hurt like a bitch!" Bill laughed my way.

"Gwate!" I laughed at my failed attempt. "Was we gon do naw?" I tried to ask a question.

"What was that?" Tom loved making fun of me. I scowled. "

"Was. We. Gon. Do. Naw?" I tried to say each word individually. It didn't work.

"No Aimee, I will not take you to my bed? Gawd females." Tom tsked. "Maybe some other time? Eh?" He laughed at his own joke.

"Mutter fucker!" I smiled. I actually did get that one out right and understandable. Too bad Tom turned it into some perverted joke.

"Anyways!" Bill intervened. "I have no idea what were going to do. Are you hungry Aimee?" What was their deal with food? Oh yeah they were human beings, they ate every few hours. I forgot.

"Nat hungy." I pouted, this was retarded.

"You can have some orange juice if you want, it's low in calories, if your worried about your figure or something." Tom said bluntly. He seemed offended for some reason.

"I jas got my tung purshed you ashhole! Why wud I be consherned bout fud?" Dumbass. 

"Well so? Just accept food when we offer, because you seriously are too skinny, you look breakable." He stated.

"Well if you awr twyin to be consherned, you are doin a shwity jub at it!" I bit back. 

"Whatever." He mumbled. Why was I making everyone mad today? Fuck my life.

"Come on Aimee! We need food!" Bill exclaimed. He grabbed onto my wrist and pulled me into the kitchen. "You do have to eat something though, were really worried about you. You are tiny."

"Show what if I'm teny! Meby am jus teny!" I already had enough food today, I didn't need more, I didn't want to be any more fat than I already am. He wouldn't like it if I got big.

"Yah but, please?" He pouted.

"Fwine." I humfed.

"Awesome!" He rummaged through the practically bare cabinets in search for some food for me. About 5 minutes of looking he pulled out some cranberries. "Das gut?" I shrugged. "No it can't be, because I can't find the damn can opener." He poured me some cranberry juice instead.

"Danks!" I smiled big, and sipped on the juice. I've never had it before. It was a little tangy and sour, but I immediately fell in love with it. "Dis is gwate!" I laughed at his expression.

"You mean you've never had that before either?" I shook my head nope. "Well it seems you haven't had a lot, now have you?"

"Nap!"

"You want a nap?" He asked confused.

"Nah, I never had canberry jwuice, or any difrent thangs!" Mother fucker, I hated sounded like a baby in front of him. At least he went through this pain before when he did his tongue.

"Well I'm glad you get to try new things with us!" He smiled. "Want to just hang out today? Watch movies? It'll be fun." He sounded like he didn't want me to go.

I nodded. "Bat I refwuse at tawlk anymur, unwess its necessary, kay?" It was hard as hell to say Necessary. He quickly agreed and filled Tom in on our decision. They popped popcorn and picked out a few movies. We all went to Bill's room, and I hopped on the bed. I chose to lay in the middle of the boys. This was going to be fun. I didn't give a fuck about what my dad thought, this was going to be my time off, I didn't care how much hell he put me through for not being home. It was worth it to be with my new friends. Not acquaintances. Friends. I smiled at that fact.

Bill climbed onto my right, and Tom to my left. The movie was an action movie, about the journey to the center of the earth, it kept me wide awake and entertained. I really tried to keep watching, but I felt my eyes begin to droop somewhere near the end. They shot open near the end. I didn't want to feel too bad. "Dat movie wash amashing!" I called out.

"I know, it has to be one of my favorites." Tom chimed in.

They popped in the second movie, and I knew I few minutes into the movie I fell asleep. The last thing I remember was a a pirate walking on a deck, Johnny Depp or something. I've never seen it before. Bill's bed was so comfortable, it was like heaven, unlike those chips. I could sleep for hours, apparently I did. I didn't even have a bad dream or anything. Just the pitch blackness. I had to have been there for a few hours. 

XxX

I opened my eyes and the dimness of the TV was flickering around the room. I was now at the top of the bed with my head resting of a fluffy pillow, I rolled over to face the door and someone was there. I saw legs. I raised myself up on my elbows I saw a sleeping Bill at the end of the bed. How adorable he was. Tom wasn't there though, I looked around for him, but he must have left. I yawned. I haven't slept that good in ages. Even though it was only for maybe an hour or two. I felt around for my phone and glanced down at my screen, the brightness made me squint. 1:49 AM. My eyes got huge and anxiety kicked in. My dad was going to fucking kill me. I know I sounded all tough earlier, but now that I overslept, I now know I'm just a huge wimp at heart. I had 2 voicemails. They were both from 'Dad.' I played them before I woke Bill.

_Answer the phone damnit. _That was the first. _Mother fucker. _A silence. _I'm not coming home tonight, I'm going to a bar with some buddies then were going to an office party at a hotel. Don't wait up. Love daddy. _I shuddered at his voice. He was a royal creeper.

I crawled down to Bill. "Bill!" I whispered his name in his ear. I shook him lightly. "Biiillll wake up please." Sweet normal talk. He stirred a bit. "Bill." I shook a little more forceful then, he bolted upright causing his forehead to smack me in the head. "Son-of-a-bitch!" I hissed. He was also holding his head in his hands.

He looked at me with fear, and sincerity. "I'm so sorry Aimee, you just startled me! I didn't know who you were for a second there!"

"It's ok, it was an accident."

"But I hurt you!" He exclaimed.

"Don't worry about it! You didn't do it on purpose!" He calmed down a bit, but I could still tell he felt guilty. "It's like 2 in the morning, why didn't you guys wake me up to go home?" I probably sounded frantic.

"It's the weekend, didn't you want to stay?" He looked hurt.

"I mean, yeah, but next time, wake me up please, so I can tell my dad? I'm lucky he's out for a business thing, or I would have been in a lot of trouble." The way I said it must have worried Bill. Crap I didn't mean to give anything away. Stupid me being stupid half asleep.

"What kind of trouble would you have had been in?" He gulped, sounding scared for me.

I cant believe I was about to lie to Bill. "You know, being grounded. Lectured about how guys only want one thing, maybe even the sex talk." I shuddered for emphasis. And then laughed.

He seemed disappointed. His eyes sparkled suddenly. "Ah the good old sex talk, I haven't had it yet either, I cant imagine how awkward it must be with the parentals!" He rolled his eyes. "And I hope I never have the talk, I mean I figured out what sex was in middle school." He laughed hard. I soon joined. It was the truth. My jeans were getting really uncomfortable to sit here in. I hope this wouldn't get awkward.

"Bill? Can I borrow some shorts to sleep in? Or pants?" 

"Sure Aimee!" He said, he seemed eager. He clicked on the lights and walked over to his clothes box. He pulled out some basketball shorts and a tank top. I wont question him. "The top is my moms, so don't question me." I laughed, it was like he knew what I was thinking. "You can go to the bathroom and change. Down the hall and it's the last door on the right."

I smiled at him, "I'll be right back." I got into the bathroom and did my business. I slipped on the deep purple tank, and the basketball shorts; they came down to my knees. I stared at my arms, they were filled with cuts. I mean they were going to figure out sometime, so why not tonight. That's how I thought. I lifted up my shirt, the bruises still looked horrible, but they would fade over time. My cuts on the other hand would be visible to me forever. I grabbed my clothes up and went back to Bill's room.

He had changed while I was gone too. He was wearing a tight black shirt and some black sleep pants. He was gorgeous. "Where's Tom?" I asked quietly, not wanting to be too loud.

"He went to sleep in his own bed. He said it was too crowded, plus you haven't seen Tom sleep, he takes up like the whole bed!" He laughed. And I couldn't help but to join in, we were being sort of loud. I walked over to where he was standing. "You can just put your clothes on the floor somewhere, I'll have mom wash them tomorrow." He smiled. I put them on the side of his bed, and sat Indian style on it. He joined.

"Simone said you guys have moved around a lot, where have you been to?" I asked, starting conversation.

"Yah, I've been everywhere, plenty in Europe, and now here. This has to be the smallest place I've ever been though." He took a short pause. "It's because of my dad's work, he's a magazine editor, so his job requires us to move around a lot. I've been to almost 30 schools." He sighed.

"Woah! 30? And my dad works at the magazine place in the city Shine! magazine. How about yours, where does he work?" This is muy interesante. 

"Yup, he works there too. Is that why your dad isn't home, he went to a hotel party thing?" I nodded. "Yeah, mines there right now too." We sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds. I broke it by yawning I covered my mouth to be polite. He gasped. Which mean he saw. He grabbed my wrist and looked at my cuts….

**! Wow : ) I love this story! I'm going to try to get more descriptive to make the chapters longer too… I broke 3,000 again :D**

**End time: 6:30 AM… hm not that bad, 2 hrs and 20 min to write this chapter? And I got distracted and stfuff. And idk if tongue rings make you talk like that, I thought it would be funny to do something like that… until next time…**

********REVIEW********

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	6. The Perfect Dinner

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia**

**This is for my Australian :] she knows who she is, she's super amazing =] I was so hyper after school it wasn't even funny, and then I crashed -_- lmao. Bill+Kaulitz=AMAZING.**

**I feel like talking about my new schedule! 1st**** period: Creative Writing, it only has like 3 people in it D: 2****nd**** period is English class, its alright. Then I go to 1****st**** lunch, and then head to 3****rd**** period, which is Algebra 2 [fml]. 4****th**** period is Spanish 1B :] and 5****th**** period is Drawing 3 =) my schedule is amazing… so this was pointless… just to help me get my hyperness out… that's what I get for drinking like 4 cans of "delicious" diet soda, then figuring out it was regular! HAHAHAHA never again!**

****WARNING ABUSE****

Chapter 6: The perfect dinner.

He stared down at my arms with guilt filled eyes. I wish I could know what he was thinking right that moment. Disgust? Pain? Regret? Loss? I just hope he wasn't going to push me away like everyone in my life has. I lost Alana, my mom, a normal life, a caring dad, respect for life, a good self-esteem, my weight. I just wish I could have a normal life. I felt my eyes start to collect tears, but I couldn't cry in front of anybody, crying was for the weak, He didn't like it when I cried. It only made what was about to happen worse. I blinked back my tears furiously. I tried to read Bill's blank expression. I tried to see what emotions he was hiding. I wasn't doing any good, he was just being an invisible wall for emotions. I knew he didn't care, who would care about someone like me?

When I tried to pull my arm away Bill clutched on tighter, I looked into his eyes and he was looking back with more unread emotion. He finally spoke after a long time. "Wh-why would you do this to yourself Aimee?" His voice sounded broken. I didn't know what to say to him, and I couldn't tell him about my home life. "Don't avoid it alright? I know we only just met today, but I know you can trust me with anything you tell me alright?" I nodded silently.

I took both of his hands in mine and I exhaled. "If you haven't noticed already, my life is a living hell," I sniffled. NO! I was not going to cry. I didn't.

"So you decided to cut yourself?" He was outraged. But I heard a shred of sympathy in his voice, I clung to it, it meant he wasn't going to leave my life. Not yet anyways.

I nodded again shying away from his gaze. "You have no idea how horrible my day is because of those godforsaken demons called teenagers! I've been having to deal with them since kindergarten… I don't know why I do it, there's just nothing else to deal with the pain.."

"You could have always talked to a friend, you know, like the girl in our German class, she seemed to like you a lot." He thought he had it figured out, but he didn't even have a clue.

"Rin?" He shrugged. I went on. "I don't trust her… that's why I don't have many friends, I don't think I could trust many of them. I mean she's nice and all, but I cant stand her, she's just too much for me, and I think she lies to get attention.."

Bill quirked an eyebrow and tilted his adorable head to the side in confusion. "But you talk to her in German class don't you?"

I laughed. "More like she talks too much, and lies." I spat. Gawd I needed to cut ties with her. And soon.

"How can you be so judgmental of people?" He seemed offended.

I sighed. "I'm not judgmental! She's the one who claims to be from Asia, which you never know, could be true. She's also been to Vegas a billion times, met Criss Angel, flew in his private jet. Hm, what else.. Swam with the sharks, and they didn't try to attack her. Been lost at sea for a month. She claims to be emo because no one understands her. But I mean they would. If she told the truth…" I ranted on and on.

Bill shushed my mouth with his index finger. "I get it Aimee. She really doesn't seem that truthful." He smiled down at me, like I was the only thing in the world. The feeling made me feel all tingly inside, I forgot who I was and how horrible my life was for a second. We had a moment. He gently raised up my arms and kissed up and down the cuts. Many people would find that weird and disgusting. But I found it cute. "Can you try to stop cutting? I mean if you ever need a friend to talk to, I'm here now. You have nothing to worry about." I sniffled again. He had no idea what my fears were. My dad was on the top of the list. And I could never tell Bill about him. Maybe someday, but not soon,

I silently nodded. "I don't know if I can stop, but I know I can try…" I trailed off. I didn't want to disappoint him, because I knew I could stop. It would just take some time getting used to. I had a feeling nothing was going to be easy for us here on out. Bill was now my friend, I am choosing to trust him.

His eyes glinted with hope. "That's all I'm asking for. I don't want to see anything happen to you." He smiled and kissed my hair. I felt his kiss turn into a smile, like he got too excited or something. "I think we should head to bed, don't you? It's getting kind of late." The clock said it was almost time for the sun to start rising. I yawned for emphasis. This night was muy interesante. He laughed at my tiredness. I wondered how we were going to lay in the bed?

He pulled down the covers and motioned for me to climb in first, I did so then turned the opposite and laid on my side, I snuggled into the pillow. I smiled when it smelled like Bill. I felt the bed shift as he climbed in beside me, he pressed his body against mine and held me. I've never been held before. It was comforting. I vaguely remember him humming something before I succumbed to the nice pitch black of no dreams.

XxX

When I woke up I couldn't remember where I was. My eyes sprang open and they were met with a torso. Ah. Bill. I smiled. He made me happy, every time I heard his name in my head I had to smile. He had his arm draped over my waist and mine were in between us propped against his cute little chest. See how I didn't even try to stop myself from liking him? Because I knew it was a lost cause, I liked him. A lot. I looked up at his peaceful face and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, he was lovely. He smiled in his sleep and snuggled closer to me. And that's what I did until he woke up, I traced the outlines of his face, ran my finger over his eyebrow ring, and smoothed out the creases on his forehead whenever he thought in his sleep. He stirred.

His eyes popped open. "Hey there Aimee." He smiled big.

Yeah this wasn't going to work. Bill was obviously a morning person. Fuck that! "Morning person?" I rolled my eyes and he laughed and nodded. "I hate mornings!" I yawned in my hand.

"Mornings are the start to a new beginning, they are precious, and I live to see the sunrise, whenever I get the chance." He was deep. And he knew it too, I laughed lamely at him. He shook his head playfully and sat up. Dragging me up with him, which made me dizzy, but I tried to hide it. "Open your mouth." He said. I gave him a crazy look. He blushed. "I uh wanna see how your tongue piercing turned out." Haha made more sense. I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue. "It turned out great! There's not really any swelling."

"Gwate!" I tried to say with my mouth open. "The swelling did hurt like a bitch." He blushed again. "What?"

"It's just weird hearing you cuss is all." Strange.

"I wont cuss if you don't want me to? Around you that is. Because sometimes I cant help it." I grinned.

He smiled. "Its alright, you don't have to!" He lifted my arm and kissed it all over again. I blushed deep as the color of this tank top. "Want to come eat breakfast with me?" He glanced at the clock. "Or rather an early lunch?" Ugh food.

"My tongue still hurts a little bit, so I'm not sure if I should eat," I cant believe I'm about to say this. "But I will for you if you want." I smiled.

"Sure!" He seemed too excited. He yanked me out of the bed and ran ahead of me. He was such a big kid, I laughed and ran after him. He was great. I ran out into the kitchen and came to an abrupt stop. What in the world?

"Um dad?" I stated. Sort of terrified, but I controlled the look on my face well. I've done it so many times before.

A fake wash of relief fell over his face. I knew it was fake. He was just putting on a show for the new family. I knew he was secretly crushing on Simone and me not being home finally gave him an opportunity to talk to her. Too bad she was freaking married. Even though I've only seen her husband once, and I don't remember what he looks like at all to save my life. I looked over to the side of the kitchen and Bill was standing there awkwardly. He, after all was just caught by a girls father. He didn't really have to be worried. Unless my dad somehow hated him. Anyone who would take advantage of my were good friends to my dad.

"Honey where have you been? I came home this morning and you weren't there, I looked everywhere for you!" He glanced at Simone with those stupid googly eyes. He had it for her. "When I knocked on Simone's door, she gladly explained everything to me. You should have told me before hand darling." I wanted to puke. His goody two shoes act was perfect. And so was mine. Which meant no one was going to be saving me anytime soon.

Simone spoke up then. "Aimee, you know I don't mind you coming over, but your dad was worried. Notify him again next time shall you?" I knew she was worried.

I nodded. "Of course." I kept my answers short and sweet. No matter how good my facial expressions were, in the sound of my voice lies the truth. And the truth was gory. I feared of what was in store for me when we got home. I don't know why but I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. But that was probably anxiety.

"Now you all will be arriving at what time tonight?" Simone's politeness always threw me off guard. I've never met someone so sweet in my whole life. Then I did a double look. Tonight? What the hell was going on?

"Hm, around six-ish maybe? Whenever is good for you all." My dad said back. Equally polite. I was scared shitless. What was going on tonight.

"What's tonight mutter?" Bill asked all innocently.

My dad glared at him. He had the right to, and I bet he's only doing that to fulfill his job of being a dad. Which he totally fails at. "Ah ja. Tonight Aimee and her dad are coming over for dinner, because your father always talks so highly of Dennis [aha Aimee's dads name xD]. But Henry wont be able to make it. So I thought this would be a good time to get to know everyone." She was cheery.

"This dinner will be what's best. Plus we need more friends. We've lived here all out life and haven't once had dinner with anyone." My dad tossed in.

Simone and Bill laughed. "Get out of here you amazing people!" Simone bragged. "See you guys at 6 sharp, and don't forget to bring one dish!"

My dad grabbed on to my arm, which probably looked like a fatherly gesture to anyone else. But I knew it wasn't by the way his fingers were digging into my arm. He gently pulled me into their living room and we were about to leave. "Dad," I mumbled. "I need my shoes."

"Nonsense. Get them later." He whispered harshly back. I knew I was in for it. He rushed ourselves out of the house. He rushed so he could get to beating me sooner. He rushed so he could do sick things to me.

XxX

He slammed my bedroom door shut. Locked us both in it and took a swing at my side. He knocked the air out of me. And I winced. I knew he wasn't going to anything bad to me, not yet that is, we had an appearance to make, and it wouldn't do if his daughter couldn't come. I looked up from where I was slightly hunched over. He was grinning manically. He pushed me down on the bed and held my hands over my head. He licked up my collar bone. Yanked of Simone's shirt I was wearing, and grabbed at my boobs. No matter how many times things like this happened. It still made me uncomfortable. He stripped to nothing and yanked off my shorts. He entered me. With a little whimper he laughed in my face.

After he was done using me he grabbed me by the hair and flung me across the room. My face hit the wall and I felt blood pouring from my nose. This wasn't good. I felt so over emotional. He kicked me in the back over and over again. Nothing I couldn't handle. But it still hurt like a fucking bitch. He made one final good kick to my side then walked out of my room, locking me in it behind him.

I laid there for the longest time. I laid there motionless and unmoving. I finally got the courage to lift myself up. My vision started tinting black around the edges, I didn't want to pass out right now. I grabbed onto my desk for support and limped over to my mirror. Tears ran freely down my face, I was chocking on sobs. They rocked my body furiously. I felt like a giant baby… it was okay to cry sometimes right? Thinking about not crying only made me cry more. I dug under my bed for some sanitation wipes. I grabbed them and started wiping at my nose. It felt horrible. I knew I was going to be bruised all over my face. I was going to have to wear a ton of make up to hide everything. Why couldn't the counselors believe that I was being abused?

Long story. My dad is a very famous photographer that graduated from my high school, so they'd never expect him. They just roll their eyes at me and say I'm jealous because I'm never going to be that famous. They all think I'm trying to get attention, which I'm not. If I was I'd be telling everyone in this school my business. Nosey fucks.

I was scared to look into the mirror again. Afraid of the ugly that is known as Aimee Karoline. I gasped in disgust when I saw my face. My eyes were puffy from crying and my nose was a bruised mess. I didn't even attempt to raise up my shirt. My body was pathetic and I felt a real strong urge to cut myself, but I wasn't going to give in. I promised Bill. He is what's keeping me going on. Keeping me from killing myself. I searched around for my phone. I found it wrapped in my bra on the floor. 4 texts.

**Bill 2:45pm: Aimee, you forgot practically everything over here!**

**Bill 4:00pm: Cant wait for tonight! Hopefully our family will get close and we'll always be together! I would love that! :D**

**Bill 4:10: Text me back please?**

**Bill 4:11: Humpf!**

I looked at the clock. Exactly 5 o'clock, I decided to text the little worry wart back. **I'm here sorry! I was busy :P lol Tonight will be great! **It felt extremely odd! I was texting Bill NAKED! I blushed at the thought, and wondered about what I was going to wear, since we would be going over there in about an hour. As I waited for Bill to text me back I picked out what I thought would be good. A long sleeved royal blue shirt, and formal black pants, and some dressy shoes since I didn't have my converse. My phone vibrated.

**B: FINALLY! I began to worry. :/**

**A: Why should you worry about me? I'm fine you worrywart **

**B: I know I am :D**

**A: I fell though D:**

**B: What do you mean?**

**A: Aha I fell and hurted my nose :[**

**B: How did you manage that?**

**A: I was getting a drink from outside, and I saw a snake and fell on my back deck into the wall : (**

**B: Wow! Clumsy monkey.**

**A: I know, I look terrible!**

**B: Never : )**

**A: *blushes* You are so amazing :3**

**B: Yup that's me! Now go get ready! Your due in 20 minutes.**

**A: Bye good sir *curtseys* **

My dad just then came inside and told me it was time for the dinner. I told him the lie I made up and said it sounded believable. This dinner is going to be pure hell. I didn't want to go, but I had to, plus I love the Kaulitz family. There's something about them. Something that makes me trust them. And I hope that feeling never goes away.

***REVIEW* **

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	7. Hot Tubs

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia**

**Aha. Sad :/ Wish things could have ended better. Writing this story cheers me up. Enjoy.**

**And don't worry, this is a Bill FanFic, Tom is just going to be in there.. And stuffs. :] you'll see. lol**

****WARNING ABUSE****

Chapter 7: Hot Tubs

I had a terrible limp. I tried to pretend it didn't hurt, but it truly did. I had a limp, bruised nose and bruises all over my tiny fragile body, I'm glad no one's going to see those. There the worst. I tripped up the stairs of our back porch deck, because I was getting a drink and saw a huge ass snake, I then tripped and fell into the side of the house. It did sound believable even though we don't have snakes, but it was the story I was going to stick to. He thought it was brilliant and even patted my on my head like a loving father should do when his children accomplish something great. Tears welled up in my eyes, this was going to be a long night.

We were just arriving at the Kaulitz house. My dad knocked on their slightly ajar door. Tom answered shyly. It was funny to see someone like Tom shy, he had a sparkling and fierce attitude but he got all shy when he opened the door. His eyes lit up when he saw me, brows creased in frustration when he zeroed in on my nose, it was almost like he knew what went on. He couldn't possibly know… right? Fuck now I was getting all paranoid.

"Hello," Tom greeted us, acting all sophisticated and such. "We've been waiting for you guys!" He stated excitedly. Me and "dad" walked in and shrugged off our coats and placed them on the nearest chair. While my dad went to find Simone me and Tom sat and talked. "I know it's rude but, what the hell happened to your face?" He exclaimed.

I gulped. My eyes lit up like I was ready to tell a huge story. I internally sighed, I knew he was going to believe me. "There was this huge fucking snake outside, and while I was running away from it," I paused for dramatic effect. "I tripped face first into the side of my house!" I laughed. "I'm so clumsy."

He let out a small laugh too. I'm sure he bought it. Just then Bill rounded the corner, his eyes looked far away, like he was thinking. I don't even think he realized I was here yet. He turned into the kitchen scratching his head. Me and Tom shared a look that obviously meant we thought Bill was psycho. We both laughed at his expression when he came back out into the room, because he saw Him, his eyes met ours on the living room couch. He smiled at me and held out his arms. He wanted a hug, the big baby.

I laughed while getting up. He encircled his long skinny arms around my tiny body and squeezed so hard. The bruises made everything hurt again, I almost cried out in pain, but I chocked everything back. Why was I hiding everything anyways? Oh yeah, no one would believe me if I told the truth anyways. He was still swaying me back and forth with my feet off the ground, so I squeezed back. He did a retarded laugh and put me down. "Yah, Aimee that looks bad." He stated while staring me down. He knew what I told him, so he didn't make me elaborate on what happened again.

"Look!" I said, changing the subject. I stuck out my tongue. "It's completely healed, nothing hurts." Except my poor excuse of a body of course. I laughed at the irony. He gave me a crazy look, which made me laugh harder. What was wrong with me? I felt loopy and out of it.

"Someone took some crazy medicine this morning!" Tom chimed in. "So now that you have that piercing…" He trailed off.

I blushed. "Is that all you think about is sex?" I tried to sound offended. But I don't think it was working, I was too busy thinking about what he was asking me, did he think I was cute? I blushed even deeper for even assuming that.

"Blow jobs aren't sex, duh!" He blurted, not sounding ashamed or guilty. Gah Tom.

"Okay that's enough!" Bill intervened. "Tom would it kill you to be appropriate in front of girls?"

Tom snorted. "Sir yes sir!" He fake saluted. "I was just playing around anyways." I rolled my eyes. Sure he was just playing around, I might just have to get up the courage and ask him about all that soon. I started to turn, then of course I had to do something clumsy. I fell smack on Tom's lap. "See I knew she wants me." The pervert! I scrambled away to where I was setting a good distance away from him, but not enough to show he made me uncomfortable. I smacked him in the back of the head and he just snorted. I don't know, he kind of made me happy, the way he wanted me. Or at least pretended to want me. It made me feel, good?

I regained normality when Bill plopped down between us slinging an arm around my shoulders and doing the same for Tom. "What shall we do before dinner tonight? I want to have some fun." He eyes shone, he wasn't joking. I thought hard.

"There is nothing to do in this horrible little town." I stated. Nothing at all, that would make me have fun at least.

"Yah, I gathered, this town is boring!" Tom said in place for his twin. I did have a hot tub on the back of my deck, but I wasn't going to say anything yet, because my body is too bruised to wear a bikini. But I did have a two piece… I giggled and shook my head.

"Uh oh! Random giggles, you thought of something.." Bill and Tom said at the same time. I blushed and pulled out my cell phone.

"Hold on a second." I smiled to myself. They gave each other warily glances. I unlocked my phone and tapped away on the screen, thinking this would be easier than facial confrontation. I texted Him.

**A: U think me and the twins could use the hot tub, it would give you and Simone alone time.**

**H: What on earth do you mean?**

**A: I know you like her, I'd like to respect that and give you all privacy.**

**H: Good idea, you all may go.**

I smiled up to the boys. They looked a little scared. "I know the perfect thing we could do to have fun, and my dad said it was ok so far." They looked terribly confused so I continued. "We have a hot tub, wanna go? It'll give us something to do." I smiled wide, not trying to sound desperate, or making my idea too dumb.

"HOT TUB!" Tom called running out of the room. He was going to go get ready. I shook my head.

"It that all right with you Bill?" I asked. He looked around nervously. I thought he was going to say no for a second there. His eyes lit up.

"Sounds very fun Aimee!" He walked quickly out of the room. I sighed happily and leaned back into the couch. It was very comfortable. I got a text and looked down.

**H: Simone said yes, be back in a few hours.**

**A: Alright.**

This was going to be awkward and different. The boys bounded around the corner. Tom in red and white flowered swim trunks only, Bill in a tight white t-shirt and blue and white flowered swim trunks. They were both adorable. I smiled to myself, thinking how lucky I was to have friends like them. Alana never did stuff like this with me. I pushed back the old memory, the past is past. They both bounded towards me in a happily manner. They both grabbed a wrist and happily pulled me out the front door. This would be great. "Simone said to be back in a few hours though, I think her and my dad want bonding time to get to know each other." I laughed.

Tom closed the front door with a click and locked it. I couldn't help but shiver, he just locked his mom in with a monster. I shook away that thought, He wouldn't possibly do anything to her, would he? I hope not. "Oh ja, because she's just that interesting!" Bill laughed. I playfully pushed him as we were walking down his front yard.

"But you love her!" I giggled. Fuck. I was a lost cause.

"Oh course, I love my mum, she's gotten me through the most in my life," He shuddered thinking back on memories, that weren't good. He changed the subject when we started walking down my driveway towards the back yard. "So you've had a hot tub for how long, and failed to mention it to us?" He laughed.

I unhooked the back gate. "I've never really used it before, so I wasn't thinking. Plus it's always good to get my dads permission first, and he don't really let me do a lot." I smiled sadly.

"We know how that is," Tom said. "Woah, huge backyard, you have everything! Gazebo, merry-go-round, shed. tree swing... What the hell? Is that a second backyard?" He exclaimed.

I laughed at his curiosity. "Yeah, its huge! But it's too crowded to really do anything in it, so many tree limbs and sticks, I used to get hurt back here a lot when I was a kid." My childhood wasn't that bad.

"Well this is amazing," Bill said. "Our backyard is tiny!" We walked up on the maroon chipped deck. I remember helping my mom paint this when I was a little girl. One of my few memories with her. She refused to give me a big brush.

"Want to come in while I get dressed?" I tried to think, was it messy? Probably. "I'll warn you though, it might be messy, I cant really remember."

Tom would be the first one to say something. "Sure! I'd love to see your room!" He winked at me, and Bill smacked him and whispered something harshly to his twin in German. Ugh boys.

The screen door was unlocked but the wooden door was locked. I rummaged around in my pocket for the key He tossed at me before we decided to come over here, and unlocked the heavy door. The house didn't have an odor, it smelled frankly nice to me. I walked in first and noticed beer cans strewn everywhere, along with empty TV dinner boxes all over the counter. I was so embarrassed. "Ignore the mess, it's usually clean I swear."

Bill hesitated. "It's alright Aimee, our house is only clean because we just moved in, give it a few weeks, it'll start to get horrible!" He seemed to take a little too much pride in that fact. I realized he was just trying to make me feel better.

"You guys can wait in here, or go into the living room, it's probably messier out there though. Snacks are in the cabinet if you want anything. Top one over the stove." I tried to make my living habits sound decent. I just hope their was food in there. I scurried off to my room and Bill followed me, no surprise, he was probably going to get all sentimental. I really didn't want him in my room though, it was a horrible mess. We walked in and I shut the door behind us.

I heard Tom in the kitchen yelling, "GET IT BABY BRO!" We both chose to ignore it, because nothing like that was bound to happen, we didn't know each other that long.

Bill looked around my room. Which I was ashamed of. Blankets and clothes thrown everywhere, things from my desk have fallen over, my closet door slightly ajar, the chain was gone, thank gawd. I looked at my bed, and the sheets were rumpled. If you looked at my room you could tell I didn't give a fuck about my life. "Sorry," I whispered, barely audible. "I'm so embarrassed of this house, I wish I could have cleaned beforehand."

"Nonsense!" Bill said. He took my hands and led me to my bed, we both sat on it facing each other. "Can I ask you a serious question?" He was sincere. Hell. Here came the sentimental moment. I nodded. "I don't want to assume things, because I hate when people assume about me." He paused. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to ask someone this question…" He seemed ashamed for even bringing it up in the first place.

I looked at him from under my lashes, his breath caught, like he thought I was pretty or something. Right. "It's okay Bill, you can ask me anything, you know that right?" He nodded. "I'll try not to be offended, if it's that bad."

"Um, is your dad, yah know, an alcoholic?" He blushed and looked down. Fuck my life. I told him a piece of the truth for once.

I nodded. "Yeah," I sighed. "Ever since my mom died, he just hasn't been the same. I feel sorry for him a lot, he's just a wreck." Ew. I took up for him again.

Bill seemed to understand. "My dad drinks sometimes too, he's not our real dad. I don't know why he does it though." He shook off any memory he was about to tell me about. I let him slide. If he didn't press me about my life, I wasn't going to press him about his. It was only fair. But in that moment, I wondered, was there more to the Kaulitz family that met the eye? Couldn't be, Simone and Tom are too cheery. Bill on the other hand, I really don't know. I guess time will tell. He changed the subject quickly, before I could ponder on it any longer. "Get ready! Hot Tub time!" He smiled and left my room.

I sighed. Being peoples friends was so much work, but I knew it was going to pay off. They gave my pathetic life hope. I smiled. I dug through my skinny and tall dresser at the end of my bed for my swimsuit. The top part covered everything, and the bottom part was short shorts. I laughed to myself, I never thought I would be wearing something like this in front of boys. I put it on, it covered enough, so they wouldn't see the bruises. I was doing a lot of smiling today, and it felt good. The swimsuit top was pink, blue and purple striped and tied around my neck, and the bottom was just the blue shorts. I opened the door, and automatically Tom's mouth hung open. Damn. I felt self conscience all of a sudden, but tried to work it.

"Damn sexy, you lookin' fine!" Tom whistled. Bill exhaled exasperatedly, he probably gave up on his twin hitting on me, I mean you couldn't stop a player like Tom. He was ridiculous. Even though it made me feel good about myself, I've never had a guy do that to me before, and might actually mean it. I knew I was blushing as I led them out of the back door to the hot tub. All Tom did was laugh.

I uncovered it and turned the temperature, I tried not to bend down in front of them, but I didn't really have a choice, the options were right there. Tom whistled. "Will you cut that out!" I asked angry and annoyed.

"Ah, feisty." Fuck my life. He wasn't giving up. We waited for about 5 minutes for the water to warm up to the perfect hot temperature.

"Okay we can get in now!" I smiled at them. I got in quickly not wanting to give Tom a show, he was starting to make me uncomfortable. But only because I've never had a guy take interest in me like that. The boys followed, sitting on the opposite end of the hot tub together. I leaned my head back and sighed, it felt so good and relaxing. "What are we going to do now?" I asked the sky.

"I don't know, some kind of game?" Bill said.

"What kind of game!" Tom said annoyed. "What are we going to do in a hot tub… I mean I could think of a few ideas, but it would involve a pool and more people. What's it called, Marco Polo?" He was confused himself.

"How about truth or dare?" Bill asked. I laughed and nodded in agreement.

"I haven't played that game in years!" I said suddenly. It was Alana's favorite game. "Bill you go first, since you suggested it!" He agreed.

"Hm, Tom, truth or dare." Tom picked truth. "Remember when we were little and I woke up with half of my head shaved?" Tom nodded. "Were you the one who shaved my hair?" Bill asked cautiously and mad.

Tom snorted. "It took you how long to figure out it was me? I'm disappointed in you twin, you should know better."

"So all the times you said the boogeyman did it was a lie? I mean obviously, since he's not real, but do you know how long I slept in fear!" He exclaimed. I couldn't help but laugh. He glared at me.

"Sorry!" I held up my hands in surrender.

It was Tom's turn then. "Aimee, truth or dare?" I was kind of scared for what he was going to make me do. I picked truth. "How old were you when you had your first kiss?"

I blushed. "I haven't had my first kiss yet." Was that weird for a 17 year old to be innocent in the love life?

"Never?" Asked Tom.

"Yeah never! I haven't even had a boyfriend yet!" I said embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed. Bill hasn't had his first kiss or anything either. Strict V-card." Bill blushed and splashed water at his twin. "Hey, it's the truth!"

"Ugh! You guys bicker way toooooo much!" I whined.

"We are twins after all." They stated in unison. We all busted out laughing

"Bill. Truth or dare?" I asked him. He chose dare. Hm, what should I ask him to do? "I dare you to confess 5 embarrassing things about you. You don't have to name that many, but I suck at dares."

He looked down and blushed. "I secretly worry about my figure. I have to get up extra early every morning to do my makeup and style my hair. I'm a total diva. Uhh, um, sometimes I have to sleep with the lights on, because I get scared at night," Me and you both. "And, I used to have an imaginary friend until I was almost 12." He blushed.

"Muy interesante." I sang. I changed the subject. "Do you think you could pierce my bellybutton?" I asked Bill. He seemed to enjoy that I came to him for piercing matters.

"Sure thing Aimee, when?"

"Maybe in a few days, I don't know yet." I had to let my bruises fade before I could do anything.

"Let me know when!" He sang to me.

And that's all we did until the sun started to set. We laughed, played and got to know each other. They were my best friends. My wonderful new best friends. I just wish somehow I could open all the way up to them, and share my secret. But I know I cant, if I revealed it, what would they think of me? I would give it time. Time is always the answer. I don't know what's going to happen, but now… it's time to go to the dinner. I know its going to be awful. A real dinner, with real people, except me and Him were the fake people. We ruined the whole setting.

**Hope you guys liked it. It cheered me up writing it :']**

**My first bf, was killed yesterday morning, so I was sorta depressed, all I need is sleep. Too bad its 1:55AM and there's school tomorrow :/ I'll be better soon though. ILY guys.**

**********REVIEW**********

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	8. The jig is up

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia**

**I need more reviewers! :] lol… GUESS WHAT! I got to meet BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR! At the KY car show : ) Me and my friend Tara stood in line over 4 hours to see him, and he called me sweetheart and apologized for the wait, and I was like its ok its ok :] I wanted him to sign my forehead but he was pressed for time lol… ok on with the story. **

Chapter 8: The jig is up

******WARNING ABUSE******

I don't think I've ever had that much fun in a long time. I haven't laughed in years, I haven't felt free in years. I loved that feeling. It was something I wish I could hold onto forever, but I knew it had to end sometime. I had adrenaline in my veins, I was going to hate the crash. Right now we all just decided to enjoy the feeling of the jets massaging our bodies. It felt heavenly on my battered body. I also wish I could do this more, its relaxation. But He would somehow figure out that I was enjoying myself. I mean why couldn't I have a normal life? Where people held me and loved me.

My eyes started to water like usual whenever I thought about my sucky life. I needed to stop. I knew I never would, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Reminders were everywhere I turned around, from Him to Bill and Tom's happy laughter. I sighed and went under water. I wonder how long I could hold my breath? How would it feel to drown? The thought shocked myself too. It randomly came out of nowhere. I pushed the thought back, I had the twins now, they were something to look forward too in life. Just then something ran into my side. HARD! I gasped out in pain when my head came above the water. Tears fell down my cheeks. That fucking hurt.

"What the fuck!" I exclaimed. I looked over at Bill, who was next to me, his face fell. I internally kicked myself, I just lashed out at Bill. I felt bad. I wiped at my cheeks, trying to clear the tears. Hopefully they would think it was water in my eyes. I felt so ashamed for crying.

"I'm so sorry Aimee! You just went under water, we thought you passed out or something… Don't be mad, I was only trying to help." He gulped. He looked at me like he was scared of me. I made my facial features look calm. My side was killing me.

"I'm not mad." Damn, my voice sounded clipped. I tried to calm down. I sighed. "I'm really not, you just hurt me when you… attacked me?" I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He gave a shaky laugh, he thought I was still mad at him probably.

"Want me to look? I'm really sorry." He sounded like he was begging for my forgiveness. I wish he wouldn't sound like that, I looked at his eyes, they were filled with so much pain. Bill shouldn't ever have pain in his eyes, and the thought of myself causing it made me want to cry. Bill was the happiest, person I knew, he was so pure and genuine. He didn't need to be sad.

I gave him a sincere look. "I'm sorry for snapping at you, and you really don't have to look, I'm fine." He gave me a doubtful look. "I promise." I leaned over and gave him a big hug. He tensed for a second, and then seemed to melt in my arms as he hugged me gently back, like I was breakable. Tom broke the moment. The asshole.

"Get a room!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. We pushed each other away and blushed a deep shade of red. I splashed water at Tom, which got him in the face. He stuck out his tongue at me.

I laughed. "Mature!" I yelled at him. My cell phone started to ring just then, … "My favorite song, my favorite show, I wonder if they even know, or if they care, or if they notice I am standing there…" I hopped up and looked around, I forgot where I put it. Oh, of course its behind Tom on the rail. I stood with my back towards them as I answered. "Hello?" It was Him.

"Simone says you guys can come back anytime sweetheart," He breathed sweetly into the phone. A chill ran up my spine, he was ridiculous. "The food is done, and it smells divine!" I heard Simone laughing in the background and mumble something.

I sighed. "We'll be there." I kept my answers low and short, the way he makes me talk to him.

"How soon?" He pressed.

"We'll get ready now." I said.

He hung up. I was about to turn around when someone slapped my ass. I jumped like you could not believe it, and my phone went flying out of my hands into the backyard. I looked down, I couldn't even see it, it was probably covered by leaves. I turned around swiftly. "What. The. Hell!" I got out. My eyes shot to Bill, he looked panicked, he quickly hopped out of the hot tub and pointed at Tom. He was grinning. "What the fuck is wrong with you!" I seethed. "That was rude and uncalled for!"

"But.." He started. I cut him off.

"Just don't even fucking start. Don't ever touch me like that again." Yeah, I'm kind of blowing up on using built up anger from everything. His face looked shocked. Like he couldn't believe I just went off on him.

"Woah, calm down!" He tried to defend his self. "I was just playing around." I crossed my arms.

"Sure. Whatever. Go get my phone." I demanded. He wasn't about to slap my butt then not even find it. He was an asshole.

"Sure thing," He got up, and shoved on his flip flops. He shuffled off the deck acting all bad. "You still love me right!" He yelled over to me.

I scowled. I hated the "L" word. "Whatever asshole!" I yelled back. He just laughed. Ugh. Why can't people ever take me serious. I looked over at Bill, he seemed scared. Like he didn't know what I was going to do. I re- crossed my arms and took a seat on the steps and waited for Tom to find my damn phone. I felt Bill come sit down next to me, he wrapped his little arms around my body, like I'll disappear if he don't have hold of me.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. I wrapped one arm around his back and turned to him.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked.

"Tom can be a little… different…" He shook his head. "I don't know. I think he likes you." Bill's face held emotion, I didn't get to see it before he buried his face in my wet hair. Tom? Like me? I really didn't know what to think about that, he was a little too aggressive for me. I felt a little pang in my stomach, I felt sad. I didn't know why. I hated my random waves of depression. My thoughts were cut short as we heard Tom's wails. Me and Bill broke apart and stood up.

"Ahh! Snake!" Tom yelled. I busted out laughing. I shouldn't have but I found that hilarious. Since I just made up the whole snake incident. He was running around the deck with my phone in the air. He ran until he was in the house. I gave my backdoor a WTF look. I looked at Bill and we shared the same expression. I took off at a sprint towards the door. I ran in and went up the steps to the kitchen, the floor was soaked from Tom, so I ended up losing balance and flailing backwards on my butt. Fuck my life. I just laid there in pain. My body hurt like hell. I heard laughing. I propped myself up on my elbows and saw Tom kneeling on a chair, laughing at me.

"Oh shut up, you're the one who ran from a snake like a big baby!" I pouted. Bill came up behind me and pulled me up, and steadied me. I pulled down my swimsuit, that rode up a little.

"Whatever! That snake was fucking huge!" His eyes still held terror. I held back a laugh. "Was that the snake you ran from too!" He said a little sarcastic.

"Shut the hell up, guys aren't supposed to run away like little girls! I said. I don't see how Bill lived with him, he was an annoying little fuck.

"You tripping was way funnier!" He shot back.

I gave him a dirty look. "Right. I tripped on the water you got everywhere, because you ran away from a snake! I bet the thing wasn't even huge!" He. Pissed. Me. Off.

He gaped. "The thing was huge!"

"Okay." I said, I snatched my phone away from him and looked at the time. "They want us back. Someone can change in the kitchen, and someone can change in the living room." I marched away. Still too pissed to care right now.

"Someone's PMSing!" Tom whispered. But he still wanted me to hear it.

I closed my door gently, and locked the door. I let my tears fall freely. My life was shit. I didn't deserve friends. I shook my random rampage out of my head. They liked me. If they didn't they wouldn't be here. Right? Furious sobs racked my body, I tried to keep them quiet. I didn't need this right now. I changed quickly, avoided looking at my body, because I knew that would make me cry even harder. My eyes would return to normal once I got outside, they were all red. I sighed and combed out my hair. I unlocked my door. "Is everyone dressed!" I yelled. They replied with a chorus of "yes's."

I grabbed my phone, and didn't wait for them as I walked out of the door. I calmed. The breeze felt nice. I waited for them on my front porch. They gave me worried glance. I knew they could tell I was crying, but they might have been too scared to say something about it. That's right, their friend had random breakdowns, even I never got used to it, so I didn't expect them to get used to it either. I tried to act happy for everyone's benefit. I smiled big at them. "Ready!"

"Sure thing!" They both said to me cheerily. We walked back to their house arm in arm. I was very nervous for what this dinner was going to hold. I mean there shouldn't be anything nervous about it. There was witnesses. I was calm now as we walked through the front door. I didn't have to be worried.

"Mutter!" Bill sang through the house. He had such a lovely voice. "Were home."

Simone bounced happily through the kitchen door, when her eyes landed on my she looked worried. "I'm glad your all back, the food is ready, I hope you guys enjoy." She smiled. That's where Bill got his peppiness from. I rolled my eyes and smiled to myself.

XxX

I sat at the table with Bill on my left, and Tom, on the right. He sat in front of me, with Simone off to the left of the table. I was feeling so awkward. But nothing bad was happening so far. Thankfully Simone started the conversation off. "How are you guys liking the new school?"

Bill scoffed. "The kids are horrible, I'm glad we met Aimee though, she's the only nice one there." I looked down at my food. Mashed potatoes, peas, carrots, and a little piece of steak. I still failed to take a bite out of anything, I was scared.

"Yah," Simone started. "How did you guys meet anyways? I mean you all were bound to meet anyway, since we all live close together." She smiled over at me.

Tom started off this time. "Aimee's like in all of our classes, she's nice, and understands us, unlike those losers at that prep filled school." His voice sounded harsh, but thankful at the same time. I couldn't stay mad at him if he talked about me like I was their savior or something.

Simone looked at me. "Why are you so quiet honey?" I got kicked under the table. He kicked me. He was telling me to talk, and pretend.

I laughed. "I don't know, just a little tired." I smiled at her. She seemed to buy it.

"I know how that can be," She paused. "You should try something, the food is really great, if I don't say so myself." She beamed. Another kick. I cut up a little piece of meat, and tossed it in.

"It really is good." I paused. "Where'd you learn to cook from?" She was glad I was taking interest in her. I smiled to myself, I was doing a good job.

"I learned to cook all myself, when I was little, my mom abandoned me, and if my dad wasn't hurting me, he was barely home. So I had to fend for myself." I must have stared at her in shock. She seemed so happy. How did she move on like that? I don't think I could ever do it. "And then I went to college to be a professional chef." She smiled sadly at me.

"That's so sad," I looked at her with sincerity. "I'm so glad your away, and in a happier place now." I smiled at her. Was it just me or was there a lot of smiling going on?

She nodded.

XxX

I was helping Simone do the dishes, she didn't want me too but I insisted. He went home, and Bill and Tom were getting ready for bed. I knew Simone could be the mother I never had. She had a motherly feel to her. I loved that about her, she was so kind, caring, and accepting. She turned to me and held a finger up to her mouth shushing me, she motioned me to follow her. Damn. This couldn't be good. She led me into a little walk in closet and clicked on the light while making sure the door was locked. She must have read the fear in my eyes. "Don't worry honey, I just want to talk to you." She said calmly.

"In a closet?" I squeaked out.

"You have nothing to be afraid of, I'm here to help you." She said smoothing out my hair. Another trait Bill got from her, he was always doing something to my hair.

"What do you mean?" I carefully asked.

"I know." She stated blankly. Felt my face drain color. "I know what your dad does to you."

"I don't know what your talking about." I stated.

"You know very well what I'm talking about." She said sternly. Before I could protest again she continued. "I'm not saying you have to tell anyone, but I want to let you know, I'm here for you. Our house is always open for you, if it gets to be too much." She cut me off again. "And I promise I wont tell anyone, it's your secret to tell, not mine." She kissed my forehead.

I broke down. I cried in her arms. I don't know why I did it, but it felt good to get this pent up emotion out of me. She was the nicest person I've ever known. I cried for about 10 minutes. When there was nothing but sniffles I stepped out of her caring embrace. I gave her a proper hug. "Thank you Simone." The tears came again.

"I know how you feel, I've been in your situation before. Now you should get out of here before your dad starts to think too much." She kissed me on my forehead once more and shooed me out of the closet with a quiet laugh. She went out to the kitchen while I slowly walked to the living room. Bill was sitting in there, once he saw my expression he stood up and quickly came over to me. I did the most painful thing ever. I pushed him out of the way, and kept walking. When I got the door, I looked back at him, he looked hurt and worried for me. More tears ran down my cheeks. Why did I have to hurt so many people! I jogged back to the house. Scared to see what lay behind closed doors.

The house was eerily quiet. The door slammed and I turned around quickly. There He was. He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me away. It hurt worse when I tripped and he was just dragging me. He drug me to the bathroom and just threw me in there. My head hit the side of the tub, and my vision blurred around the edges, but I didn't pass out. Sadly. He threw my toothbrush at me. "Get rid of it." He yelled angrily. Talking about the food we just ate. I nodded through my sobs. He slammed the door shut. He'd be back soon enough.

I hated doing this. I positioned my face over the toilet and shoved the toothbrush down my throat. Everything I consumed exited through my mouth, I dry heaved until I was for sure everything was gone. Why couldn't I stop crying! I looked in the mirror. What was wrong with me. I hurriedly brushed my teeth. He didn't like it when my breath smelled bed. I sobbed. I was in for hell. Just then the door opened making a lot of noise in the process, I almost yelped, but held it back. He hated when I made noise.

He slapped me in my face so hard my whole head jerked to the side. He yanked on my arm and led me to my bedroom. Threw me on the floor and started kicking me. Repeatedly. I just laid there and took it. After a while I didn't even feel it anymore. I felt like such a baby, I couldn't even stand up to him. After he was done kicking me, he started yelling harsh words at me.

"You are a worthless dirty whore! You think they want you!" He was talking about the Kaulitz family. "They are using you! Who would want a dirty bitch like you? That's why your mother died. It was all your fault!" He roared at me like a monster. I felt my eyes about to close, blackness was about to take over. He yanked me up by my hair, "You will not fucking blackout on me! If you do its going to be worse when you wake up." I nodded. He threw me in the closet. Locked it. "Your lucky I don't want a quick fuck tonight, you nasty whore." He shut out my light and closed my door. Pitch Black.

I sat up slowly and wrapped my arms around my legs. I didn't cry anymore, I think my tears were all gone. My phone started vibrating, I was scared to see who it could be. I was too paranoid, but could you blame me. I looked at my phone, I had 8 text messages and 4 missed calls. 6 texts from Bill, 4 calls from Bill. 2 texts from Tom. I hope they weren't declaring their ultimate hate for me. I clicked open the texts one by one.

**B: You seemed upset are you okay?**

**B: Please txt me back? I'm so worried about you.**

**T: Answer your phone, Bill is over here acting like a fairy, he's worried for you.**

**B: I am not acting like a fairy, I'm just hyper.**

**T: ANSWERRRR!**

**B: Please answer, I need to know your ok. :/**

**B: I am soooo worried, like you have no idea. Text back, call me or something, I'm about to come and kidnap you!**

That text made me laugh. He would save me from hell.

**B: Txt whenever you can, I'll be waiting :]**

I teared up a little bit, knowing he was willing to wait for me to text back. I pushed away the negative thoughts He told me. If they didn't like me then why were they still trying to get a hold of me, and why were they worried about me? I knew they cared. Right? I sniffled. It hurt to do anything, it felt like my ribs were broken, but they just felt extra tender. I knew what a broken rib felt like, and it wasn't the feeling. Through my pain, I still texted Bill back. I didn't have the nerve to call, because I didn't want to freak him out.

**A: I'm here…**

**B: You were crying earlier, are you okay! :/**

**A: I'm better now. Thanks.**

I felt bad for the short answers, but I didn't know what else to say, or how to change the subject.

**B: I care about you ok? You can tell me anything, I'm here for you**

**A: Why thank you :3 I'm much better, don't worry about it :] I promise.**

**B: I guess I'll take your word for it. What are you up to?**

I laughed at the dark sick irony as I texted back.

**A: Sitting in the dark, sore, alone :] lol.. How about you? Still acting like a fairy?**

**B: : ( feel better! Ugh, I guess you got Tom's messages, I wasn't being a fairy, I was just really hyper. :/ *hangs head***

**A: lol, theres nothing wrong with being hyper, it sounds fun, I'll try it sometime.**

**B: :O**

**A: What?**

**B: You've never been hyper! Your not a normal person.**

**A: I know im not :P I'm going to bed, I'm so tired. See you tomorrow best person a girl could ask for.**

**B: Aw *blushes* See you tomorrow gorgeous.**

I stared down at my phone with the goofiest grin on my face. Bill called me gorgeous. No matter how much pain I'm in, I know Bill will always be there to make me smile, he wasn't going to leave, it was a feeling I got. I felt drawn to him. He was my best friend. I don't know what I did before he moved here. I sighed and decided to text Tom so he wouldn't feel worried, or mad that I didn't text him. It was almost 2 in the morning.

**A: I'm fine. Sorry for making Bill like a fairy.**

It took him a while, but he finally texted back.

**T: What happened anyways, he wont tell me anything.**

**A: Long story, I don't want to talk about it.**

**T: Kayyy, why r u up so late.**

**A: I was txting Bill :] I'm heading that way anyways.**

**T: :P K night, sleep well.**

That conversation was short and sweet. I noticed he didn't really sound too concerned for me like Bill did. But I knew they were both my friends and they were stuck with me. I smiled and winced at the same time. My face must have been swollen. I sighed and tried to get comfortable without hurting myself anymore than what He did to me. I tugged off my sweater and used it for a pillow. It sounds weird considering there's clothes hanging above me, but I was in too much pain to grab something. I didn't sleep.

I couldn't sleep at all, I knew if I did I would have nightmares. How I wanted to text Bill so badly. But I didn't want him to suffer from no sleep because of me. I sighed and just laid there until about 4 in the morning, that's when I started dozing in and out of consciousness, and that's how my night went. When I heard Him starting to walk around the house to start his day, I turned over facing the wall, and pretended to sleep, maybe then he'd leave me alone. I put on my shirt and used my arms as pillows. My door opened. Then I heard the locks being removed from the closet door, then He left. I sat up in shock. Nothing happened! I heard the car start up and he left.

My phone read 5:30 in the morning. I slowly pulled myself up. I cried out in pain, today was going to be hell. I could barely walk. I had to clutch onto the wall to get around to the shower. I took a quick shower, as fast as my body would allow me. I walked to my room in a towel. I dressed in all black. That's how I felt today, depressed and in pain, so all black will do. It was just going on 6:30 when Bill texted me.

**B: need a ride? :]**

**A: Sorry I don't accept rides from strangers!**

**B: :P So that's a no?**

**A: I want to walk today, I need my morning alone time.**

**B: Lol nice : ) when you leaving?**

**A: idk yet. I am so tired! D:**

**B: When did you go to sleep?**

**A: I didn't. Too scared of having nightmares. I usually sleep with something on, but tonight I didn't.**

**B: Why didn't you?**

**A: I'm trying to break the habit.**

**B: Aw, don't feel bad, I sleep with the lights on sometimes too. :D**

**A: I have to finish getting ready, I'll see you then.**

**B: Later! ;)**

I sighed and threw on my shoes. Today was going to be pure hell. I didn't want to socialize with anyone. Not even Bill, if I talked to him, he was bound to figure out my secret. I just didn't know what I was going to do yet. My walk to school will calm my nerves.

**ITS OVAH :] I broke 4,000 words *_* lol, I'm so proud of myself. Okay.. Nothing really more to say, except… I need more reviewers! So…**

******************REVIEW********************

**:]**


	9. Suspensions

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**5 facts about me: I am addicted to EBay *hangs head in shame*; I'm a vegetarian; I'm trying to lose weight; For once I don't know what I want to be when I grow up; If I could sleep the rest of my life away, I would… My 3 favorite drinks are: Water; green tea; and monster. I'm wearing my sleep clothes right now. I'm a very confused individual. - people ask me weird things in my inbox lol Oh, and yes I realize I use a lot of periods.. I just cant help that, that's how I write ;]**

**OK! :] Anyways. Simone was only assuming Aimee was being abused because of her quiet awkwardness when her dads around, and the hostility. And when Aimee hesitated and broke down crying, it confirmed her suspicions. =] Simone don't know about the rape, only the abuse. She promises to be there for Aimee no matter what, but there's so much in store.**

***WARNING ABUSE***

Chapter 9: Suspensions

I only covered up my bruised face with makeup. I didn't worry about any eyeliner or eye shadow, because I felt like there was going to be a lot of emotional moments today, and I just didn't feel like making my crying noticeable. I peaked out my window, perfect, Bill and Tom haven't left for school yet, I took this as an opportunity. I flung my front door open, with a little more force than I intended to, it flung into the bushes. Fuck my life. I took that as a sign of a really bad day about to happen. I locked up and took off at a sprint. I wanted to get to school early, so when I got to first period I could just lay my head down, and maybe Bill wouldn't bother me. I felt my stomach tighten with guilt.

I felt horrible trying to just ignore Bill and Tom today, but I don't think I can take it today. If I could I would have just stayed home. But He wouldn't approve, because I have to make the grades to make someone like him proud. Almost there. I felt myself get lightheaded, from lack of food and nutrition. My stomach had that sick empty feeling, the feeling where you need food, but if you eat you feel like you might throw up? I stopped for a second and swayed on my place on the sidewalk. My eyesight got dark around the edges. I took a moment to calm down and collect myself. I walked the rest of the way. I made it there way early.

Only a few people were there, scurrying around the halls. I didn't go to my locker because I knew I wasn't going to need much for today. I had it all planned out. First period I was going to sleep, I had to do something in art, and the rest of my classes, I could catch up on mucho dormir. The twins have to understand, I just couldn't function right today. I felt like a little kid, running away from my problems. But I just couldn't face them yet. I sighed. What was wrong with me? Tears welled up in my eyes. I sniffled. Gawd. I was such a giant baby. I wiped at my face as I turned into the classroom.

Frau Adele was there grading papers. She looked up from the stack to get a good look at me. "Morning there Aimee." She said, short and sweet.

"Hi." I said as I took my seat and laid my head down.

She tsked. "So I'm guessing this is a sign that your not going to do any work today?" She motioned at me from across the room.

I shrugged. "I had a long night, and didn't get to sleep, I am so tired." A yawn escaped my lips without permission. I felt my cheeks grow pink. I don't know why, but I was embarrassed.

"I hear the counselors talk about you, and it may seem like I don't care, but I care about all my students. So you may sleep in my class for today, I will still give you full participation points and credit." She seemed oddly nice. I didn't know what to think about it. But I decided to take her up on her offer.

"Thank you." I smiled shyly at her. She returned the smile and continued grading papers. Today was starting out odd and unsuspecting. I stifled a yawn and put my head down. I knew I wasn't completely asleep at first. Just drifting. You know, when you want to go to bed, but you want to keep listening to your surroundings too? That's how I was for a while. I heard other students in the halls after a while. That's all I did remember though. Then the dreamless sleep took my mind and body over.

I never thought I'd manage sleep. I was out like a light, I don't think I've ever been out that quick before in my entire life. It felt nice for once. I don't know how long I was asleep, and I honestly didn't care. All I knew was that my teacher actually had a heart. It was still shocking, but I didn't dwell on the fact, because I actually needed the sleep. I wonder if she'd let me sleep in here more often? Doubt it. I felt someone shaking me roughly. I internally sighed. Great.

I opened my eyes, and the side of my face was plastered to the desk, my mouth was open, with both of my arms just sprawled out around my head. I blinked. Rin blinked back at me. I should have known. Stubborn bitch. I never fucking bother her when she is in one of her moods and she has to lay her precious little head down. My mouth was dry, I moved my tongue around. Better. I sat up slowly, wincing, not seeable I hope. I did a little stretch. "What do you want?" I asked her a little too harshly. I could care less right now.

"The bells about to ring." She said just as harshly, feigning hurt and stomping off. I smiled to myself, good I pissed her off. Ugh, I wonder where Bill was, I looked around for him, except I didn't see him anywhere. I felt sad inside, it hurt knowing he wasn't here. Even though I wasn't going to talk to him today, I still wanted to know he was there. I needed some kind of sanity. The bell rang and I headed off to art. Today wasn't getting any better. I stubbed my toe on the way to my locker to fish out a pencil. I couldn't open my locker, it felt like the damn thing was jammed, and to top it off Hanna tried to start something with me in the middle of the hall. I just stalked off, I was about to snap. Snap and do what exactly? I didn't even know that answer.

I made it to clase de arte when the final bell rang. I was a mess today, even the teacher knew something was up. He just respected me enough not to call me out on it. Mr. R. knew me enough when to ask questions or not, and today was definitely one of those days. I fumed all the way to my corner in the room. And that's when Tom's asshole self had to come up and talk to me. Couldn't he tell I wasn't in the mood. I gave him a dirty look.

"Hey, don't shoot those daggers at me." He held up both his hands in surrender. "I just wanted to tell you something." Is it bad that my interest peaked? I was a sucker for the twins, and I think he knew it too.

"What do you want?" I tried to say decently. It wasn't his fault I was in such a pissy mood, so I didn't want to take my anger out on him. I exhaled and calmed down. I looked at him, he looked like he wanted to laugh at me, probably because he just saw all the emotions cross my face.

"I wanted to talk to you about Bill," He sighed. I waited for him to continue. "I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I do know he cares about you." I was about to say something, but he talked over me. I guess this little speech thing was very important. I sighed and waited it out. "You should have seen him last night, he said you looked so sad, it made him crumble. I've never seen him act that way towards a person before." I didn't know what to say. But I guess it didn't matter, because he wasn't done talking. "I don't know what's going on with you, and its your choice, but I honestly think Bill could help you." He smiled down sadly at me.

Bill couldn't help me. I was beyond help. Just a broken 17 year old, who doesn't know where she's going in the future, why would he want to help that? Bill? A guy I look at and think, he is his own person, such an individual. Bill? The person I talk to and know, he's going to go somewhere great in his future? He is amazing, and I know it sounds cheesy, but he's sort of my reason for not ending my life. I know we haven't known each other long, but I felt so drawn to him. But the thing was I didn't know what it meant. I don't know why I did, but I asked a probably dumb question.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked. My voice void of emotion, so weak. His eyes fell.

"I was hoping you liked my brother back," He blushed. "He needs someone in his life, the part of his life where our mom and I are beyond help for. You guys are like perfect for each other." What was he trying to play matchmaker or something?

"What do you mean you or Simone can't help him?" I don't know why, but that little statement stood out the most. And we weren't perfect, how could we be if one of the pieces was shattered beyond repair?

He hesitated for a moment. "Forget I said anything. Just think about what I said." Ugh, I didn't press him on what he meant, if I could have secrets, then so could they. But why did I feel like my heart was ripping in two?

"If Bill really liked me, shouldn't he be the one telling me all this?" I questioned. I still didn't know what to think of everything, I was so confused.

"Bill has _never_ had a girlfriend before. He gets super nervous confessing anything to anyone," And I've _never_ had a boyfriend, so why would he think it would be easier for me? I laughed inside my head. "Once a few years back, he tried to ask this girl out, all she did was laugh in his face and call him gay, he came home and cried his little heart out. He's never tried to take interest in someone ever since. Except now… Your that girl now."

My heart swelled. I was just having a hard time processing what he told me. I had a crush on Bill, I just didn't know if that was going to get me anywhere. "I'm sorry, I just don't know what to say." I told the truth.

He only nodded sadly. "I was just trying to do the right thing." I don't think I was supposed to hear, but I did. I felt bad, but I was trying not to convince myself that Bill liked me, I just don't know. My head was a mess.

"Where was he this morning?" I asked suddenly. I knew it was random, but I really did feel bad not seeing him. Fuck my life. I just couldn't ignore them. They made me want to open myself to them. I was a lost cause.

"He had to go see the school counselor…. About classes I think." He trailed off. "What was up with you today anyways? We went to look for you, but you were knocked! You sleep adorable by the way." He didn't sound ashamed at all. I silently laughed.

"You mean, I looked adorable hunched over a desk, probably drooling everywhere?" I tried to avoid the question, but he kept pressing the subject. "I didn't sleep last night." I said simply. His eyes held something quickly before he masked it.

"Yah, you texted me in the middle of the night, and my phone was turned up all the way!" He looked hurt.

I actually laughed for real. "I'm sorry," I faked. "I wasn't really thinking, because I usually put my phone on silent when I go to bed!" I finished off sarcastically.

He stuck his tongue out at me. "Your sitting with us at lunch right?" He changed the subject.

I sighed. "Not today, I don't really feel up to the whole busy cafeteria deal." I hope he wouldn't get mad at me.

"It's fine, your in one of those, fuck the world moods, been there, know how you feel. Want us to come with?" He seemed eager enough. Probably wants to embarrass the hell out of Bill for crushing on me.

"I'd rather be alone, sorry, but today has been hell." I stated. He chuckled at me as the bell rang. Instead of following him to meet up with Bill, I went the opposite direction. I headed off towards the library. The cheery librarians greeted me, they didn't care what I did, so I took off to a dark corner and sat there. I smiled when I realized Bill just texted me.

**B: We need to hangout soon!**

**A: Miss me already?**

**B: Yah! And its been forever**

**A: Hardly 24 hours :]**

**B: :P Where did you go?**

**A: The library, I love the quietness. No dumb-asses to put up with**

**B: I've never been to the school library**

**A: It's quiet :] the best place to get away.**

**B: Are you hungry? I could bring you something, if you'd like?**

**A: No thank you, I had the hugest breakfast known to man this morning, like you have no idea.**

I felt a little bad for lying to Bill, but I had to lay under the suspicious radar for a while. I had to at least pretend I ate something.

**B: I could only imagine, what did you have?**

**A: Waffles, eggs, and a brownie! :3**

**B: I am so jealous… Tom says HIIII ;)**

**A: Heyyy. Lol. TOM IS A CREEPER**

**B: Am not.**

**B: Okay, I'm back now. :D**

**A: What's for lunch?**

**B: Normal nasty lunch food.. Mashed potatoes, pizza, yah know, the crusty kind of potatoes?**

**A: Thanks for getting so descriptive… those are gross.**

**B: Yeah, they looked better under the heat light.**

**A: Ehh.. Just scrape off the top and eat a few bites of the middle, that's what I did when I got them… after the first few bites, they get nasty xD**

That was how my alone time in the library went. It wasn't so alone, I should have just went to lunch with the twins in the first place, just to save myself all this wasted effort. I couldn't ignore them, I found it highly impossible, and I didn't know why. It made me want to yell out in agony if I ever had to ignore them again. It made my heart hurt just thinking about it. If only I knew what it meant. I was in a major pile of denial here. I knew exactly what it meant… I was just too scared to admit… that I liked Bill. And didn't know what I would do if he was ripped away from my life.

That's all I did for the rest of the day, I thought about Bill, and what it would be like to be with him. I wondered if he really did like me? I imagined what it would be like to kiss him, to have our tongue rings intertwine with each other. I blushed. Neither of us had had our first kiss yet, and it didn't bother me that I could share mine with him. I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head, because it would only get X-rated. And um, were in school. I felt my mouth lift up in the faintest of smiles. I was weird.

People filed in the last period of the day class. Joy! It felt wrong and off, I don't know why. Like something bad was about to happen. I cringed. Today has been hell for me, so why wouldn't it get worse? It's my luck after all. Bill waved a shy smile as he sat down, Tom just grunted and nodded his head as he sat in front of me. I shook my head at his enthusiasm. Mrs. Brangers started talking then.

"Okay, for today we'll be working in groups. Three to a group," I think she only did that so me, Bill and Tom could work together. "You guys should know your assignment so get to it." She was way to peppy for being a teacher. I couldn't do it, peppiness just wasn't my thing at all, if you couldn't tell already.

XxX

We were all settled in our little group. We were in a far off corner to the side of the room, I just hope no one would come over here and bother us. We weren't really doing any work to begin with. Just messing around with each other, telling jokes, and having a fun time. Something I could never get used to, but didn't want to stop. I enjoyed the twins too much. I rolled my eyes and snickers came from right next to us. I turned and looked. Hanna's group nonetheless, I should have known. I turned back around huffed and crossed my arms. Why did she always manage to piss me off?

"He's totally a fag!" She busted out laughing. I looked over to Bill, his eyes fell to the table shamefully. "You can tell, have you seen the way he stares at my boyfriend Luke? Such a faggot," She inhaled, about to speak a little louder. "And the way he dresses, he's just asking to get fucked in the butt…" Bill looked like he was about to dash out of the room and cry. Tom looked furious, but he wouldn't do anything because she was a girl. So that only meant one thing…

"What's your problem?" I asked all innocent.

"Quit being an instigator Aims." She replied all sweetly back, so she wouldn't arouse suspicion from the teacher.

"Oh, I'm not being an instigator. It's called, I don't know, being a good person and standing up for your friends. But you wouldn't know anything about that now would you?" I said, in a deathly calm voice, I even saw her shudder.

"You know what your about to be?"

Ugh I hated playing her stupid games. "What's that?"

"Your about to be beat up." Were her last words before she lunged at me.

She didn't know what she was doing. She swung at my fucking head and missed. Who wants to fight someone then miss? Apparently her. I wasn't about to lose to her. I stood up quickly from my desk, disregarding the protests Bill and Tom threw my way. They didn't want me to get in trouble, but they were worth it. She lunged again, but this time I punched her directly in the face and she fell on the ground, I got all up on that. We rolled around a few times, by now there was a giant crowd around us. Right now she was yanking pathetically at my hair. People actually booed her. I smiled to myself as I caught my fist on her eye. This made my anger disappear, I pounded on her over and over again until someone pulled me away.

Security guards. Fuck my life. I was going to be in so much trouble when I got home. I didn't dwell on it, because as they escorted me and Hanna out, I heard them saying I totally won. Which was the damn truth. I was sick and tired of being the one who was beat up, it was my turn to inflict what I was used to most of my life. Does that make me a bad person because I loved beating her up? I didn't think so, because she was asking for it. I mean I was just so sick and tired of her picking on Bill, clearly he's not a fag if he likes me. There was nothing going through Hanna's thick head though. It felt good to stand up for Bill when nobody would. I found myself smiling again.

They dumped us off in separate rooms and called Him. My adrenaline was still pumping so I wasn't really worried that much right now, even though I knew I should be scared shitless. In about an hour he finally showed up, school was over, to say he looked pissed was an understatement. He walked in the office and threw me the nastiest glare he could muster up. I was in for the worst later. I shuddered. I couldn't even imagine what was in store for me. Actually I could, I was just in denial again. I shuddered.

What I did for Bill was right, I knew I shouldn't have gotten into that fight, but she started it first. When He was done talking to Mrs. Brangers and the principal we could finally leave. We got into the car when he started his pissed off rant. "Three days of fucking suspension! What the fuck Aimee! I thought you knew better, to not raise any suspicion to yourself. Your teacher said the other girl started it, she got a weeks worth." He inhaled sharply. "You have a surprise for you when you get home." He smiled sinisterly. My stomach clenched. I don't know what was going to happen.

XxX

I saw Bill sitting on his front porch steps when we pulled in our driveway, he perked up for a second. It looked like he was about to stand up, but then my fuming father jumped out of the car and over to my side. "Nope. You are never going to see fucking daylight if I have it my way. No daughter of mine is going to get suspended and not be punished." He practically yelled in my face. I knew it was loud, because Bill was trying to be discreet but he was also listening in.

Daddy dearest stomped his way over the front porch. I took it as my opportunity to wave a quick hi to Bill, he returned it and just went inside. My 'dad' grinned evil at me as he locked the door behind me. The tears were about to come, but I knew that would only make him more mad so I held them back, I would only cry when I was alone. I chanced a look at him. His fist came flying towards my face and connected with my jaw. I heard a snap as my head jerked back. I just stood there. Waiting for what was next. "No daughter of mine is ever going to defend herself ever again!" Another punch in the gut this time. "Go to the kitchen. NOW!" He screamed.

The kitchen? He wouldn't do what I think he would, would he? He kicked me in the back of the legs and made me fall forward with a huge unorganized thump. I heard more cracking noises. My poor fragile bones. He picked me up by my hair then, and led me to the scariest place in the world. He unbolted the basement door and practically hurled me down the stairs into the pitch black. I fell into unconsciousness because of the pain.

XxX

I couldn't see at all, but that's when I realized where I was. I was in hell. I crawled backwards until I hit the back of the wall, I pulled my legs up to my chest and cried. I hated being down here and he knew it. This is where they found her body. My moms. She had committed suicide down here when I was a little girl, and whenever I was being exceptionally bad he threw me down here as a punishment. I sighed through my tears, it hurt to move, it hurt to breath, fuck it even hurt to think. The only thing I could think of was how it was all Hanna's fault I'm in this whole situation. That fucking wore. I was pissed at her.

I calmed down after a bit. You couldn't change the past. All I could think of now was about how scary it was down here. I opened my eyes and I saw nothing but black. Tears kept coming freely, silent sobs racked my body, I wanted someone to hold me… my mind drifted off towards Bill. I loved whenever he held me, it felt so nice, it made me feel wanted. Being trapped in this scary basement didn't make me feel wanted. Obviously.

I needed to talk to Bill. I dug through my back pocket until I found my phone. I had tons of missed calls from him, but no texts or voicemails. That's weird. I texted him: **Hey.** Oh crap, I didn't even look at the time… 4AM. Damn, I was lucky if… fuck.

**Incoming Call: Bill **

I sucked it up and answered it. "Hello?" My voice was barely audible, it sounded broken and tiny.

"Aimee! Are you okay! I am so worried about you, I called you a ton of times!" He rushed out all at once in a frantic hushed tone. Is it bad I liked how he worried about me? It made me feel all warm on the inside.

I smiled. "Sorry I didn't answer, I fell asleep." Which wasn't a lie, except it was more of an unconsciousness.

He sighed. "But are you okay?" His pretty little voice was laced in concern.

It was my turn to sigh. "Honestly? No." I sniffled. Damnit, I don't want him to know I was crying.

"Aimee! Are you crying?" Fuck.

"Yeah, don't worry about it though, I'll be okay." I shot back in a convincible voice.

"I still worry about you though, you're my second best friend, next to Tom. And I also wanted to thank you for standing up for me, people don't do that often." Its like I could hear his blush over the phone. He was cute.

"It's alright, I sort of enjoyed beating Hanna up, she's deserved that since kindergarten, it was well overdue." I smiled to myself.

"You did kick her ass didn't you?" He laughed, so did I. He was an amazing person. He cheered me up even when I felt like dying. We talked on the phone for hours, talking about random things, about random things from our lives.

All I knew was, that I was falling for Bill Kaulitz…

Hard…

And I liked it. Every little bit of it.

I smiled to myself.

**Whoopwhoop! :D almost made it to 5,000 words… sorry you guys if it seemed like a blah chapter? Hm, and sorry it took a while to update.. Today me and my friend almost got into serious trouble with our parents xD My mom was going to get me around 9 and we didn't know so we were far away from his house with his drunk dad.. We had like 20 minutes to get back, and we ended up locked in this guys back yard xD well we made it home with like 6 minutes to spare.. It was all his dad's idea… I am a good kid :]**

**Swear.**

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	10. Unknowing Savior

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Aimee's dad took her into the kitchen because that's where the basement door was.. Sorry it wasn't that descriptive. :] Hm what to say, I'm going to a Lady Gaga concert 3/12/11 ^-^ its going to be my first paid for concert.. Even though I didn't buy the tickets… hm I'm getting tokio hotel shoes… and a hoodie… pshhh whoever said im addicted to eBay is dead wrong.. XP haha no denial there.**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 10: Unknowing Savior

I opened my eyes to the pitch blackness. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I think I was having a panic attack, where the hell was I? I shrieked louder and stood up, I backed up slowly and slipped on something. I hit the ground with a loud thud, I groaned loud. I was in the basement. Still. How long have I been down here? Long enough for my cell phone to go dead, and long enough for my body to only have a dull ache, long enough to feel highly dehydrated. I'm pretty sure its been a few days. Four to five at the maximum. I must have really made Him mad, he's never locked me away this long before.

He must have not been home, because if he heard me scream at the top of my lungs like that, he would give me something to shriek about. I prodded at my head and winced, I wonder if I was bleeding anywhere? It wasn't that scary down here anymore, only when I was trying to go to sleep. That's when I got the most paranoid, that's when I thought too much. It wasn't scary, just morbid knowing my mom died down here. I don't know where, but it doesn't take the thought of it away. I just wish I could get out of here. I never thought I would be excited to see Him, but I'd take a beating any day rather than staying down here any longer.

I just hope today he'd let me out. I felt so weak, I haven't eaten or drank anything in days. My mouth was even watering thinking about food, and that's bad, because I despise food. Ok, no more thinking about food. Damn. There I go again. I felt around on the floor for the stairs, I needed something soft and cushiony to sit on for a moment. I sighed, what the hell did I do to deserve a dad like this asshole anyway? Oh yeah, I was born and put a burden on my whole family. Nothing I was proud of. I sighed again. I was majorly depressed. Tears fell over, I sobbed loudly and uncontrollably until I fell into the darkness.

XxX

I must have fainted again. The bright light shining through the basement door woke me up. I was sprawled in an uncomfortable angle on the floor, my neck really hurt. I heard someone bounding down the stairs heavily toward me. I flinched and backed up into the wall, it was a reflex. I closed my eyes and huddled into my legs. What was up with me today? I was so flinchy and paranoid. I felt a rough yank on my hair.

"You fucking whore, look at me," I did as I was told. "You have a visitor, he's waiting in the front room. I'm going out for a few days. Don't call if you need anything. Fucking bitch." That was all he said, then he bounded up the steps and left. No hitting today? I glanced around for my cell phone, which I must have lost sometime within the time I was down here. Obviously. I found it, it's what I tripped on earlier, and tucked it in my bra. I tried to get up, and almost screamed out in pain. Shit. This wasn't good. I just needed a good bed to lay down in, some rest that didn't consist of cold hard floors. I almost forgot, I had a visitor. I bet my money is was Bill.

Now it was my turn to try the steps. Every step I wanted to yell in agony, ugh, what was Bill going to think when he saw me like this? He was going to be so disgusted, I was a horrible person. Why would He let me out of the basement to see someone like this? I thought we had to keep up appearances. My knee popped. I winced and it almost made me sprawl backwards down the stairs, good thing I held onto the railing, it made me a little more sturdy. I was scared of what Bill was going to think of my appearance. It made me not want to go up there at all. I made it to the landing with a frown on my face. I made it to the counter. I felt like I was going to pass out again, I slowly slid down the cabinets until I was sitting with my legs to my chest.

I must have been making a lot of noise, I heard someone crouch down in front of me, I looked up into the worried eyes of no other than Bill. Called it. He looked sad for me. He gently caressed my swollen cheek, and stroked me with his thumb, I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes. He sat down next to me and enclosed his figure around mine, just holding me. Why couldn't it be like this always? I felt so much love and compassion radiating off of him. I snuggled into his side, and he just held me. He didn't question me, or press me for information, and I respected that.

I didn't cry, I was just shaking real bad. He finally decided to speak up after maybe 10 minutes of peaceful quiet. He spoke in a hushed tone, trying to hide his worry. "I came to see if you were okay, I haven't talked to you in days, I was so worried," He sounded like a mom scolding their child. "Obviously your not okay, not that I'm saying you look horrible, just under the weather… I'm going to be quiet now, because you know what I mean…" He blushed a deep red then looked away.

I sighed, and tried to pull myself off the ground, which I wasn't successful on. "I'm totally fine," I mustered a real convincing voice and even threw him a smile.

He stood up, and reached down for me, he picked me up bridal style. I made a little "eep" noise. Part of because it hurt the fuck out of me, but also because I wasn't expecting it. Plus Bill is tiny, I didn't think he could pick up a fat cow, such as myself. I latched my arms around his neck and buried my face next to his, hiding in his hair. I wasn't fond of being dropped. "I'm not going to drop you, your not even heavy." He smiled into the side of my face. He walked to my room and sat me on the bed, and observed me. It was weird, being stared at, but I didn't mind, knowing it was Bill. The worried look returned back on his face.

"What?" I questioned. Questions were going to be answered tonight, and I didn't know how I was going to feel about that. I would probably improvise with some lies here and there.

He sat down next to me, I was laying on my back. "What's wrong? And please don't say nothing, because, frankly your face is covered in bruises and blood, and I bet the rest of your body looks somewhat similar." He exhaled. Like he got a huge weight off of his chest, maybe relief?

I had a really good lie, but I don't know how convincing it was going to be. "You really want to know?" I questioned. He only nodded, waiting for me to continue. "Me and my dad, we got into this huge argument because of my suspension. I've never been in trouble like that with the school before, so he was pissed." I kept my voice and face void of emotion, like I was talking in a monotone. "Things were said, and I just fainted, I guess my dad tried to catch me, but we both ended up taking a huge fucking tumble down the stairs…" I trailed off and shuddered. I sounded pretty damn convincing if I said so myself.

"Oh," His face fell, like he was expecting a different answer, I quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's nothing…" He trailed off and changed the subject. "You look like your starving! Stay here, I'll get you something," I tried to protest. "I insist honey, just stay here and relax for a bit." His cheeks tinged pink at calling me honey. I giggled at him, which made him go a shade darker.

When he left soundly towards the kitchen, I slowly made my way to the mirror in my room. I had written on it in sharpie, all kinds of negativity like: **You're not a model**. **Fat. Ugly. **You know, self esteem downers. My eyes almost bugged out of my head when I saw my reflection. My hair was plastered to my face, my cheek was swollen, and I had blood dried on my hairline. I was in need of a shower, I'm sure I didn't smell too nice either. I braved a smell of my armpit. I winced. Yeahhhh… I needed a shower. 

I laid back down on my bed and decided to wait for Bill, I sounded so fat! I wanted food right now. And a big drink! A few minutes later Bill walked in with a container. I sat up slowly in anticipation. My mouth started to water. I may hate to eat, but even I had my limitations for when I have to eat. And this was necessary. He let out a small laugh at my eagerness. He sat next to me and sat the container in my tiny lap. It was hard to get open, but I was determined and I pried it open in a death grip. I smiled happily.

"Simone made it all from scratch, I hope you'll enjoy." His eyes doubted my eating habits.

"Pssh, I'll enjoy, I'm starving." Mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, some kind of meat, some bread, I honestly didn't look at the food before I shoved it in my mouth… Simone was a good cook. I looked over to Bill, his eyes were wide with shock. "What?" I asked covering my mouth with my hand.

"I've never seen you eat like this before, you weren't kidding, you were famished." He smiled and cleaned off a piece of potato off my chin. He tsked at me, playing around. Yeah, I was done eating in I bet you under 5 minutes. "I'll clean up, you should go shower… not that I'm saying you need on.." I put a finger over his mouth and shushed him.

"I know I need a shower," I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed. "What are the plans for after?"

"I have no clue, lay here a bit?" He shrugged and I agreed. I picked out some clothes and slowly walked into the bathroom.

XxX

After my shower, I just stood there in front of the mirror looking at my body. I mean it wasn't that bad anymore, it had a few days to heal, but it still looked like I got thrown down a huge flight of stairs, which wasn't a lie. I combed out my hair, I looked and felt better. I put on a spaghetti strap purple shirt, and some capris. I left my wet messy hair down and ventured out. I looked down at my arms, they only had a few bruises on them, and most of my cuts were fading. I don't know, there's something about Bill that makes me want to tell him everything. But I just couldn't.

He was laying on my bed when I came in, he had something gin his lap. "What are you doing!" I exclaimed. He had my personal journal in his lap. "Not being nosey, I hope!" I hope he didn't read what was inside, I had things in there that could make him hate me, and incriminate my dad until he dies.

He smirked. "It's locked silly, I couldn't get in it if I tried. I like the color of it though." I blushed, I lashed out again, for no reason at all.

"Sorry," I mumbled. And hopped on the bed next to him, landing half on top of him and half off of him. He grabbed me by my waist and flipped me so I was on the bottom. He sat on my waist and pinned my arms at my side. I should have felt scared, but I didn't. I felt absolutely calm.

His eyes filled with so much sadness, I had a pang in my chest. "Aimee," He sighed. I just looked up at him expectantly. "I'm here to help you, you know that right?" He kept talking. "There's just a little voice at the back of my head, thinking that your not so clumsy as you let on…" 

I faked confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently. I was too good at being confused.

He sighed and leaned closer. "I have no idea, it's just that your so beautiful, and it's like you don't even know it, your covered in bruises, and you hide your hurt under a fake smile." His nose was touching my nose, I could close the very small gap between us, but I didn't have the nerve. And just as I thought it, he rose up ever so slightly. He kissed my forehead, where I was bruised, he trailed down my face to my cheek, kissed me sweetly there. "Can I do something?" He asked, sounding nervous.

"What are you going to do?" I asked, just as nervous.

"You trust me right?" I nodded. "Just let me see something okay?" He sounded like he didn't know if he should do whatever he was about to do or not. I whispered a faint ok. I closed my eyes, because I honestly didn't know what he was going to do, but I knew I trusted him. I felt his cold fingers at the hem of my shirt, I laid still. He raised it up little by little, until it was at my bra line. "Aimee…" He trailed kisses all up my tummy, it felt right every second he did it. I just didn't know what to say. How I wish those lips were on mine. "That was some fall you took…" He trailed off with uncertainly in his quivering voice.

He dropped down next to me, and I pulled down my shirt. "You may think I have a wall built around myself, but I really don't, it's easy to see." I said, sounding a little vague. Damn. I could taste the truth on my tongue, but this wasn't the right time to tell. He didn't deserve to be burdened with my secrets. 

He sighed and smoothed my hair out of my face. "What do you want to do?" He changed the subject quickly.

"I don't know, where's Tom?" I honestly wished he would just stay where he was, I wanted to hog his brother for the rest of eternity.

His face dropped. "I could call him if you'd like?"

I laughed at his awestruck expression. "I'm good, I like to spend time with you, your amazing, you know that?"

He blushed and ducked his head. "How am I amazing?" He scoffed. 

"Your in my life," He smiled at me. "Even though I say I don't need anyone, I really do, and I'm thankful that you moved here, I don't know what I would have done without you." I knew, I have been thinking about suicide for the longest, and then all of a sudden Bill shows up. I smiled. "You make my life worth living, no matter how cheesy that sounds." I shook my head.

"It's not cheesy, and your amazing too. And I'll always try to be here for you, you know that right?" He smiled down at me.

I nodded. "I know."

We stayed in my bed and talked about random things for hours. I put my phone on charge so I could keep contact with Bill better, and I hope nothing like me getting locked in the basement ever happens again. That had to be the worst experience of my life, and I've lived through shit.

I was getting close. I wanted to tell Bill everything. But I didn't know how. He was someone I trusted, and someone I could talk to. I just wonder if he would take me serious, of laugh it off like everyone else in my life. I had a feeling he would take me seriously. I liked that about him, he was my unknowing savior, brought to me. He has no idea, he saved my life. The night grew darker, and Simone wanted Bill home. I decided I wanted to walk him out. I smiled at myself.

"And you should come over more!" He smiled down at me, as we crossed the street, his arm was wrapped around my fragile waist.

I laughed. "Hm, I'll think about it." I teased.

"Awh, come on! Stay tomorrow night? Since it's Friday? Will you be coming to school tomorrow?" He was adorable when he worried.

"I doubt I'll go to school tomorrow, I need my rest. And yes, I will stay over, since my dad is out." I beamed up at him. "See, you put me in the best of moods." I laughed again.

"Well good. I'm glad I make you happy. And sleep well, because tomorrow will be amazing." He turned to go in.

"Bill?" I asked, not really sure.

"Yah?" He asked, eyes sparkling, smiling.

"Close your eyes," I smiled, he gave me a questioning look. "You trust me right?" I used the same words he said to me earlier.

"Of course I trust you Aimee." He smiled as he closed his eyes. I stepped forward and laced my arms around his neck. 

"Now keep them closed," I breathed into his ear. I felt him shudder. I found his lips with mine and gave him a sweet kiss goodnight. I got even more excited when I felt him kissing back. I couldn't believe it, Bill was my first kiss. I did a little happy dance inside my head. He pulled away first and rested his head on my forehead.

"Wow." He breathed his sweet breath in my face.

Wow indeed. "Night." I said sweetly, and leaned up to kiss him lightly on the cheek. He called goodnight out after me as I bounded down his front yard. I locked up and actually fell asleep with the hugest smile on my face! I slept without nightmares. 

I kissed Bill Kaulitz.

He obviously liked it.

Because he kissed back.

Tomorrow should be fun when I stay the night…

**What did you guys think? I know sorta short, but idk I have been so bored lately, and preoccupied. I need ideas for the next chapter as well :3 it will be amazing, and idk about you all, but my favorite parts are where Bill and Aimee text each other, and then throw in Tom's randomness and its all good.**

**Anyways here's a question from me to you:**

**What is your current favorite song? And what is the weirdest thing you would be caught listening to?**

**Like my favorite song is: Rise Against- Savior. And the weirdest thing I would be caught listening to is: Waka Flocka Flame- No Hands. Its weird for me, because I am a rock only kind of girl, and you would never expect me to know it… And I know all the words :3 lmao, okay your turn…**


	11. Getting to know her

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Lady Gaga was pretty amazing. I got shot with a dart in my eye the other day -_- sorry it took forever to update! And I realized like 2 of my chapters are underlined… I have no clue why it happens, and it wont let me fix it.. Hopefully it wont happen again…. This chapter is just about getting to know Aimee a little more :]**

**WARNING ABUSE**

Chapter 11: Getting to know her

As I lay there trapped in my mind, I couldn't help but to think about Bill, I didn't even try to stop myself because I knew I liked him. I liked Bill. A lot. I smiled to myself. He was amazing, I have never liked someone so much as him. I know I sound like I'm exaggerating because I only met him like what, a few weeks ago? But you have no idea, we have something. I can feel it in the was our skin brushes each other accidentally with some of our close moments. I was falling in love. I felt my cheeks heating up, and he wasn't here. I wanted to scream with joy, I sounded like a love struck teen.

I yawned and brushed the sleep out of my eye, I slept through the morning, without any nightmares. I couldn't wait to hang out with the twins after school, I needed to see someone other than the confines of my house. I had a feeling that would slowly drive me crazy. And my since of humor was dry. I shook out my thoughts, I wanted to take a quick shower, I wanted to look extra nice for Bill tonight. I wonder if he'd ask me to be his girlfriend? Or maybe last night was a mistake. It couldn't be right? He kissed me back. I blushed again.

I grabbed my favorite blue fluffy towel and stripped down. I loved showers, their so relaxing. Even though I don't get the opportunity to often, I know, it sounds nasty, but I just have to squeeze in the chance at anytime possible. The scolding hold temperature ran in cascades down my back, I loved the hottest water. To me it felt like it was washing off any imperfection on my body, and I knew I had a lot.

I think I stayed in the shower for almost an hour, it was the best feeling in the world, but I knew I had to get out sometime. I dried off and just put my sleep clothes back on, I would just dress when it was time to go. I silently brushed my hair, I loved that feeling too, of the brush running through my hair. I was odd, I know. I smiled at myself in the mirror, I was such a plain girl, and I don't see why I'm getting my hopes up, their always crushed in the end.

I sighed and stood up. A random wave of depression just rushed over me, I was used to it though, I just wish it wouldn't happen. I climbed on my bed. Alana randomly popped in my mind. Even though I don't know why she hates me, I still love her. She used to be my best friend after all. She'll always have a special place in my heart. She knew about me being abused, she freaked out, and ever since I told her, she was very distant. We would still hang out and stuff, but I could tell there was something pulling her away from me. So I guess that's what did it, she just didn't want to hang out with me anymore. I sighed, remembering the last conversation we had together… more like fight.

***Flashback***

It was the middle of summer, a few years back, before my life was a complete disaster. I was wearing long sleeves, if that wasn't obvious enough. My damp hair was pulled back in a low ponytail. Alana was laying out beside me trying to get a tan, she was wearing a bikini, we were in this nice open field, it was glowing with sunlight, it felt really nice. The slight breeze felt really heavenly against my sweaty skin. I laughed out loud.

Alana raised up on her elbows and took off her sunglasses, she gave me a questioning stare. "Should I be scared?" She mock laughed.

"No I was just thinking. Were an odd pair aren't we? You walking around with your Bikini and long blonde hair. And then you've got me skinny jeans, long sleeves, dirty blonde hair." I laughed a little more.

I guess she didn't see the humor in it. "Yeah, well, you're wearing long sleeves for all the wrong reasons!" She scoffed. "Why wont you tell someone again?" She stated sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. "Remember Alana, I have! They just don't believe me." She could be so dumb sometimes.

"Please!" Another sarcastic remark. "Why the hell haven't you went to the cops yet?" It was her turn to roll her eyes. She propped her Dior sunglasses on her perfect blonde locks to get a better look at me.

I tried to reason with her. "It's not that bad. It's only when I do something wrong, as a reminder to get it right next time."

"Yeah, so he's basically treating you like a dog?" She tied her hair in a pony tail now. She wore it way better than me.

Why did we have to fight? We always ended up making up in the long run. The longest we've been mad at each other was for like a month. Over the dumbest thing too, I cant even remember now. I shook the thought out of my head. Being negative wasn't going to help this situation. A few awkward seconds passed, I didn't really know what to say about that, because it was the cold hard truth. He was treating my like a dog. I mean I deserved it though, right? I was a dumb blonde who always tripped over her own two feet, his beatings were just something to get me back into shape. And he doesn't even hurt me that bad, just a few punches and bruises here and there. Nothing I couldn't handle. It all sounded right in my head, so why didn't it sound right to her?

She exhaled exasperatedly. "You don't get it do you?" She exclaimed. I looked down at the grass and played with a few stray strands, pulling it apart over and over, until the green pulp was smeared over my fingers. She continued. "Aimee, you're only fucking 13 years old, and your life is already such a mess! What kid wants to live a life like that! I don't even know how long this abuse thing has been going on! And frankly, I don't want to know." She paused, knowing she was right. "Look. I'm only trying to look out for you, but seeing as you don't give a fuck, why am I even here?" She stood up quickly and started shoving things into her giant straw beach bag. My eyes started to water.

"… Alaney!" My voice broke and the tears pooled over. She abruptly stopped her haste when I called her out by her nickname I gave her when we were little. I reached out and latched my hand around her stiff wrist. "Please don't leave. Don't leave me!" I cried. What hurts me the most, what can replay back in my head a billion times and still seem so fresh and raw, is when she snatched her arm away from me. Sealing her decision.

"Why the hell should I stay?" She whipped her head cockily and put her hand on her hip. She was perfect, why should she stay?

I hesitated for a moment. "You're my best friend Alana, without you I wont have anything…" Its weird being a 13 year old and being in this situation, this was the worst feeling I've had yet. Alana was 14 though, she failed a grade. We'd bonded immediately in 2nd grade.

"You'll have plenty without me!" She scoffed. I hated this side of her, when she thinks she's so much better than everyone else. But that's who she is, and I love her for it.

"Like what?" I yelled back at her, I was horrified. She couldn't leave me, I don't know what I would do without her.

"You're only 13, you have a good life ahead of you, it will get better," She paused then smirked. "And you'll have daddy dearest to help whip you in shape when you step out of line!" She had hate laced all over her voice. Why was she doing this to me?

"Why wont you stay here with me Alana? You're my best friend, and I love you…" I trailed off uncertainly.

She laughed bitterly twirling her hair around her fingers. "I'm so sick of your bullshit."

"What do you mean?" I stammered. What was she talking about?

"You know damn well what I mean. How attention deprived are you? I've met Dennis, he's fucking priceless, he wouldn't hurt a fly."

I felt my face drain of it's color. "So, you don't believe me then?" I asked, all the hope drained from my voice too. Some friend.

The look on her face was uncertain too. Like she was just telling me that to get rid of me.. And honestly it was almost working, my heart was breaking, this was worse than when my mom died. And that's saying something. "I just don't know what to believe anymore alright?" She said, eyes falling to the ground.

"But I want you to believe me!" I sobbed. "You have no idea, if you leave me… I, I just don't know what I'm going to do!" I let my head fall lifelessly in my hands, I choked on sobs and I was ashamed.

"I don't know who or what to believe. All I know is I'm tired of you're fucking petty family drama. I can't take that shit anymore!" Didn't you just love her choice of words? I learned from the best. I secretly only cussed because it helped remind me of Alana sometimes.

She turned on her heels and left me staring after her. "I love you…" I whispered to the air. I never stopped loving her. I wiped my tears and gathered my things. Dad wouldn't be happy about my crying, he hated when I cried. I looped my messenger bag over my shoulder and I took the longest walk back to my house where Alana wasn't. Why was I such a screw up?

***End flashback***

I remembered that day too well. That was the day I first cut myself. Alana said my life was going to get better, but after she left me alone to fend for myself it spiraled out of control quickly. Without her, I had to be home more often, which meant the abuse got worse. I had nothing to keep my mind off of things except my journal and my nifty razor. My journal was my prized possession, if there were to be a fire and I had to choose one thing, I would most definitely pick my journal. My life story was practically in it. Even though I don't write in it much anymore.

My journal was my sacred place. It was decorated in pointless scribbles, doodles, and band pictures. On the inside, well it wasn't really pretty, the pages were ripped and torn, with blood on the pages. It was weird, but it wasn't intentional. I also had pictures of random things in it. When I wanted to be a photographer I would snap pictures of anything and everything in sight. I had incriminating pictures too. Ones of Him passed out surrounded by beer bottles and trash, pictures of my body whenever he would beat me, just weird things like that.

I've taken the evidence to the school counselor before, she just shooed me aside and gave me credibility for being good at Photoshop. I couldn't do anything right. My hope was crushed when she told me that too. I mean how famous could He have been? I mean he's like so great that the school teachers don't even believe it when a troubled student comes to them in confidence. Instead they just laugh in my face. Sometimes I just want to yell and scream. But that does sound a little like only wanting attention. But could you blame me?

Why don't I go to the cops you may ask? Well there's a little tiff too. My 'dad' has so many cop friends, I'd just be scared I'd have to talk to one of his friends, and then He'd know I tried to rat him out. I'm absolutely terrified of doing so. That would probably mean the death of me. I mean really. He's only came close to killing me once before, and that's a little after Alana walked out of my life. He said I was too emotionless and I had a shitty attitude. That's when the beatings got a little worse. But I mean it's not my fault my life was falling apart.

Now my mom on the other hand, I remember a little about her. She had the prettiest pale blonde hair, shining blue eyes, sweet soft smile. She looked like an angel, she fit her name. I don't see what she saw in that man, I wonder if he ever laid a hand on her? I hope he didn't. She wouldn't purposely leave me on earth alone with this monster would she? I didn't even want to think about it, I didn't want to taint the memories I had of her. She was a weird one, she always had weird fact about something, and I remember helping her paint our back deck. I have a faint memory of an amusement park, and I think it was her that I was with.

I missed when my life was so carefree. Even though it never really was, it was so much better than how I'm living now. I still wondered why my mom took her life, I mean things were like perfect when we all three were together right? As far as I could remember. Maybe I was just too small to recall anything. Who knows. All I know is, I'm so grateful to have remembered her, she was amazing. I sighed. That means, me and Him are the last two people left in the family line, if he dies, I have absolutely no one. And taking an occasional beating is better than being alone… at least he knows I'm there when he's yelling at me.

Am I a bad person for thinking that way? I'm just so deathly afraid of being alone.

My phone buzzing took me out of my dazed state. I had a text from Bill. My eyes bugged out at the time. Not even fucking 12 yet.

**B: Hello there :3**

**A: Hey, what's up?**

**B: Nm. Sitting here bored, school is so boring without you here! How are you feeling?**

**A: Aha! I am the light of your life aren't I? And I'm feeling great!**

**B: :P A lot of enthusiasm there. What r u up to milady? **

I blushed, that was fucking cute.

**A: lol, just thinking. When I looked at the clock I thought it would be later than this, its not even 12 yet D':**

**B: Whattcha thinking about? Ooo eager to see me again I see?**

**A: A lot of things :P and oh yeah let me tell you about it Casanova.**

**B: I am pretty great aren't I?**

**A: Slow down there tiger, don't stretch that ego out any more!**

**B: :D can I ask you something?**

Oh no. I started to panic really bad. It's just a question, its not like he's going to move to Hawaii or something. He'd better not be! I laughed. Damn I'm too nervous about this.

**A: Sure :]**

I played it cool. Damn what could it be? I felt my phone vibrating. I pressed View. Oh.

**B: What exactly happened last night?**

I thought carefully about what I was going to say.

**A: I do believe I kissed you.**

**B: mhhm**

**A: And you kissed back :P**

**B: mmmhmmm**

**A: Why?**

**B: It feels like a dream**

**A: You're different :] It was real, trust me : )**

**B: Why did you kiss me?**

That question caught me a little off guard, I didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.

**A: um, cos I wanted to?**

**B: As in?**

**A: I like you a lot.**

I blushed as I pressed send. I cant believe I just said I liked Bill over a text message. What was wrong with me? What was he going to think? I was freaking the freak out!

**B: :]**

**A: I'm guessing you're happy I like you?**

**B: Indeed.**

I didn't feel like texting him back so I didn't. I hated one worded answers from people, even though I sometimes do it. All I knew was that Bill was happy I liked him, does that mean he likes me back too? I was getting my hopes up really high. I mean even Tom said he liked me, and Bill is always saying my name in that Bill voice, and he's always finding a reason to touch me. Which I'm most definitely not complaining about. So I hope he asks me to be his girlfriend. Even though my life is unstable right now, I'd like that a lot, he'd take my mind off things, and then everything would get better.

Right?

**BAM! Lol… I hope you guys liked it, I tried to give you all a look into Aimee's life before the twins came along. And for now on, I think im going to start, starting off the chapters with a diary entry :] **

**Oh and I found this UHMAZING tokio hotel fan fiction site! :3 I'll give you a link to the best story ever written before! :D but I think you have to sign up to read it… the site is pretty confusing, but you'll eventually get it.**

**http:/fiction(dot)tokiohotelfiction(dot)com/viewstory(dot)php?sid=17874**

**Just remove the (dot)'s and put actual periods. **

**Here's my question to you guys: What is your worst fear now? And worst fear as a kid?**

**Mine now being alone…. And Sharks O_O lol I know, odd combination…**

**As a kid I was deathly afraid of volcanoes, even though I don't live by them. Earthquakes. Bombs. End of the world. The movie "Signs".. I showered with the curtain open for years. XD Closets. Dogs. Sharks… the movie Jaws killed me. And im only scared of great whites xD **


	12. Georg and Gustav

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Ah :] I told myself I was going to try to make up some math homework over the weekend. I'm hilarious :3 lmao. Oh, I'm scared to put things in italics because I don't want my story underlined again, so the beginning of the story is a journal, just warning you guys :]**

**Let me know if you guys think I make Bill and Aimee text too much, because its like my favorite thing to do lol, but it's whatever you guys think…**

*Warning Abuse*

Chapter 12: Georg and Gustav

*Journal*

May 2008. 14 years old

I'm crying as I write this, obviously. The tear stained pages are proof enough. I'll just get straight to the point. Today after school, I came home normal as always, only one thing was different. Dad was home already. I mean that shouldn't sound too weird, but I was too me. Lately he's been spending more and more time out with bar buddies and stuff, he tells me he's sick of putting up with my bullshit. I mean it wasn't my fault I was depressed lately, him and Alana have made it so I have been miserable. Alana for leaving me alone with him, and him for being a major douche bag. Ugh I get sidetracked too easily.

Dad was acting strange all day after I came in the door. He was being especially nice to me, I faked and played along, but in my mind I was doubting everything at that moment. And I was right for doubting him, and his fake niceness. Lets just say as I write this, I feel like I'm dying. I can't catch my breath, and I don't know what I'm going to do. He's never done something like this to me before. I'm beyond panicking. Not even cutting myself would help, so I haven't done it, I'm going to try and stop. Even though I know it's a lost cause.

He touched me. There I wrote it. I knew he hit me and stuff, but I never thought he would touch me like that, I thought he was going to rape me, but he didn't. He was pretty close to doing it though, then I saw something flicker in his eyes. Like he was disgusted with himself. I don't know. I'm just so scared. What if he tries to do it again, and next time he actually does rape me? I try my hardest ya know? Not to think about everything that goes on in my life. But I have no way of distracting myself, so I'm just one huge mess.

Why must I feel so stupid about crying? I know I don't have much to live for, actually I have absolutely nothing. I'm about to graduate middle school, what's next in this dull town? High school. I wasn't looking forward to it, I already knew I was going to be singled out for being a little different than everybody else. I needed a friend.

God if your watching over me at this moment, right now, this has been one of the worst days of my life. All I'm asking for is a friend. I need someone to go to when I'm depressed and sad like right now. I have no one, and I'm so scared I'm going to do something stupid and regret it later. Please keep me safe through the night from my father, I know he's been stressed for the last couple of years, but their was no excuse for what he did to me tonight. He scarred me, and almost stole me of my innocence. All I'm asking is for help.

Amen.

Anyways, I know I've never prayed before, but hopefully it will help. I think I'm going to try and sleep now, it's sort of warm tonight. Not as frigid it has been. I hope my body clears of its bruises soon. Night Journal.

*End*

I must have drifted off for a while on the living room couch, it was beige and wrapped around two sides of the yellow walls, I know weird combination. I've never sat on this couch before, or fallen asleep on it, it was really comfortable. I'm just glad He didn't come home and find me lounging around. There would have been hell to pay, heaven forbid if I touch his stuff. I got up and yawned. I felt great!

My body was still a little bit sore, but I felt so happy, I was in a great mood! I haven't been in one of these in a long time! I smiled hugely and I decided on what I was going to wear today. I felt like dressing in color! I practically skipped to my room, which I had cleaned, along with the rest of the house. Yeah, that's how awesome I felt. I was sort of scaring myself too. I put my hair up in a medium ponytail and left my bangs down. I rummaged through my closet. I laughed. I couldn't find any colorful shirts.

I found a pair of light blue jeans, that's about as colorful as my pants were going to go. I hopped on over to my skinny dresser, I think I saw some color in here a few days ago. I found a light pink spaghetti strap shirt. I smiled to myself again, this was bright enough. I wonder who all would notice? I plopped myself down in front of my mirror, I put on my eye shadow base, and used a metallic pink color. After I was done, I assessed myself. I didn't look too bad.

I fished around for my cell phone. It was 1:50. So that meant school had about half an hour left. I tried to picture Bill sitting all alone in Mrs. Brangers. Maybe this would be a good time to text him since I was pretty bored.

**A: !**

**B: Um hi? What's up?**

**A: I am in such a good mood! Like I feel so great**

**B: Someone's hyper.**

**A: Aha, well if this is what hyper feels like, I should do it more often.**

**B: How much sugar did you eat?**

**A: Absolutely none? Omg, I felt so good, I cleaned!**

**B: O_O and you've resulted to saying omg?**

**A: Leave me alone mister!**

**B: Hey, you're the one who texted me remember?**

I smiled as I looked down at the clock, it read 2:20. They were out of school. Ah, I was on some serious crack! And it was the good kind or something, why do I feel this way? I bet it was butterflies, or maybe the fact today was such a beautiful day or that I actually got some sleep? All of those combined. I didn't care, as long as I lived it up, because this feeling was amazing, and I knew it was going to disappear when He returned home. I should ask Bill about that, since our dad's work together.

**B: We'll be home in a few, get your bag for the night together.**

**A: Sure, and I'll leave the front door open. Ttyt.**

I dumped out all my school stuff from my messenger bag on my bed, I would just use that. I didn't know what I should bring. I just filled it up with sleep clothes. A pair of blue basketball shorts, and a band tee. I could just wear what I'm wearing now tomorrow when I woke up, no big deal, and it's less to carry.

**A: What do you want me to bring?**

**B: Uhm, idk, we can just do something when we get to my house. Oh, relatives of mine are visiting today, I just now figured out.**

**A: :/ should I be scared?**

**B: Uh no? I would hope not.**

"Ma'am, drop the phone!" I heard a stern voice, I dropped my phone and spun around. Bill stood there in my doorway grinning like a complete moron.

"You scared the crap out of me!" I laughed. I laughed even harder when he held out his arms, wanting a hug like always I see. I stepped closer and circled my tiny arms around his tall and lean frame. He hugged back tightly. I even braved a kiss on the check, which made him blush a deep red.

"How did I scare you?" He asked. Even though he seemed worried, there was a glint in his eyes that made him feel proud that he scared me. I laughed lightly and tapped a finger on his nose.

"Pssh, your voice sounded so… manly?" I chuckled.

"Ah, so other times, I don't sound like a man?" He pouted, he was so adorable, I restrained myself from leaning forward and kissing his full pouty lips. Oh how I wanted to call him mine.

I quickly got my phone and slid it in my back pocket, grabbed my bag and was ready. Tonight was going to be truly fun, I was looking forward to every second to it, even meeting his relatives, who knew with Bill though. "Ready to go princess?" He stuck his tongue out at me. I giggled and returned the favor. "Man you are in a good mood aren't you? Giggling like crazy, wearing bright colors and your hair is up!" He exclaimed. He ruffled up my bangs. It was my turn to give a pout.

"I feel so amazing, like you have no idea!" I blabbed. I felt sorry for Bill, today I might actually give him a run for his money with being peppy and upbeat. I hope he fucking suffers. I did a little evil laugh inside my head. I was so losing it. And it felt great!

"You know the only reason you feel great is because your spending the night with me!" He said, sounding genuinely full of himself.

"In your dreams!"

He blushed. If he really did like me like that, then I just caught him. It was in his dreams. I smiled up at him. I changed subjects quickly, I couldn't help it, I was so damn hyper. "Who's getting your relatives?"

He laughed shaking his head. "My dad is, why?"

I shook my head, and I could have sworn I was bouncing. "Just wondering. How come I don't really see your dad? I've seen him once maybe, and he was wearing a hat and glasses."

He hesitated for a little bit. "He's always away at a business trip or something, like that's where he's going to go after picking up the family."

"Yeah, I think that's where H- my dad is too, I'm not sure. He didn't really elaborate before he took off." I internally sighed, I almost called my dad He! To Bill, yeah that wouldn't have been a clue at alllllllll. Damn. I need to calm down.

"We should get going huh? Don't want Tom or my mum to get worried about us." He shyly said.

"Awh!" I said pinching his cheeks.

He gave me a weird look. "Awh what?"

"You're adorable!" I sang.

He blushed a deeper red. "How am I adorable Ms. Random!" He was fucking adorable. End of story.

"You keep blushing! It's cute." I think I just told Bill he was cute.

"Did you just call me cute!" He exclaimed in a happy way, throwing his hand up in the air, and moving them about the place.

"I sure did!" I playfully flicked his cute little nose and litterally skipped out of my room.

He laughed behind me. "Ok seriously, your allowed no more sugar at my house!"

I hooked my arm around his and we attempted to skip across the street. We failed, so we just walked at a normal pace. We were sadly out of breath when we walked through his front door. It made me want to exercise more. I smiled happily when I saw Simone sitting on the couch, she got up excitedly and walked over to us. She got really shocked when I practically launched myself at her.

She oomphed but embraced me back. "Nice to see you again dear. I heard about your suspension and things. How did your dad take the news?" Anger flashed in her eyes. Why would she bring that kind of stuff up when I was clearly having a good day, and in front of Bill. I played it cool.

"My dad was beyond mad, he's like obsessed with keeping up appearances. So of course he freaked when I got suspended. I mean it was for a good cause…" I rambled on.

"Sweetie, it's alright. Calm down, you seem a little hyper today.." She trailed off.

"… a little?" Bill said faintly.

"You might even be giving Bill a run for his money today!" She cheerily said.

"God, another Bill running around here, shoot me now!" Tom chimed in.

"Tom!" I yelled and rand to hug him. It's been too long. I must have shocked him, because he didn't hug back right away. "Hug me back damnit." He did as he was told. He was probably trying to hold back a perverted joke, but didn't say anything because Simone was in the room.

I jumped back and smiled. "What are the plans for today?" I said.

"Well in a few hours their cousins will be here, then Jorge will head back off to work." I'm going to infer that Jorge is their father, he had a rough and tough name. "Until then what do you guys want to do?"

Bill piped up. "I want an energy drink!" He sang walking into the kitchen. "And I want to get wasted on sugar, whose with me!"

I was, but I didn't know what too much sugar would do to me. "Me and Aimee want to get sugar wasted!" Tom yelled, dragging me into the kitchen by my arm. "You are great, you know that? She's going to be bouncing off the walls now." he sighed.

I laughed. "What if it cancels out and just leaves me tired?"

"We could only hope!" Tom said sarcastically. I hit him in the shoulder and stuck out my tongue, the meanie.

About twenty minutes later we were sitting at their huge kitchen table surrounded by sweets. Chocolate, Monsters, Ice cream, candy bars, other German candies. This didn't even sound like a good idea in my head, so I didn't even know what I was getting myself into. It couldn't be good though. I could be such a retard at times. But hey, if they'd be paying for it later, I mind as well join in with them then be a party pooper.

I picked up a block of chocolate wrapped in a gold-ish box. "What's this one?"

Bill's eyes lit up. "That is called Toblerone, its sex in a box!" He gushed.

"You wouldn't know anything about that would you baby bro, now would you?" Tom shot back at him.

Bill only rolled his eyes and plopped a piece of candy in his mouth. Today was great so far. I devoured half a bar of giant Hershey's chocolate, drank a whole monster, and a bar of the German candy. I wasn't that far from eating more than Tom, and that was bad, because that boy could eat. Bill gave up a long time ago, he was staring at me and his brother with wide eyes.

"Okay you guys…" I started off.

"Yah Aimee?" Bill and Tom said at the same time.

"You can't laugh alright?" This was going to be embarrassing.

"What could you do that would possibly make us laugh? Were in a candy comatose, it hurts to laugh…" Tom trailed off.

"You'll see." I leaned back in my seat and unbuttoned my pants. I rubbed my swollen belly. I groaned. They both busted out laughing anyways. "Whose fucking idea was this anyways?"

"That would be Bill." Tom stated matter of factly, as he joined me leaning back rubbing his tummy.

"Yeah, I'd totally hurt you right now if I didn't feel like I was going to explode with every breath I took!" I laughed.

XxX

We were laying in the living room floor trying to digest everything. I still felt happy but my stomach was killing me. Like it hurt so bad to move in my jeans, I went and changed into my basketball shorts. "Bill I swear to all that is holy, if you just made me gain 10 pounds I'm going to hurt you." I slung my arm over my head. I was laying in between the twins, we were all laying on our backs just laying there.

He held up his arms in mock surrender. "Hey, it wasn't my fault. _You_ chose to eat it." He rolled over on his side and rested his head on my stomach. "It's making funny noises!" He stated.

"I wonder why!" I said sarcastically. I laughed making Bill move up and down because he was on my belly, which somehow only made me laugh even more. He huffed and sat up. "Where are you going!"

"You move around too much!" He whined.

A snore rang through the house. We both jumped and faced towards a sleeping Tom sprawled out on the ground. If I had a camera I would have taken his picture. It was definitely camera worthy. We laughed. Okay, my stomach was feeling a little better.

"I don't snore like that do I?" I asked. Just trying to make conversation and stuff.

He laughed quietly. "Well, you don't snore, just exhale noisy. I don't know how to explain it." I blushed. "Why, do I snore?"

"Nope!" I said popping the "p."

Just then we heard two car doors slam. Great the cousins were here. The front door opened up abruptly and two people came into my eyesight. I say up quickly so I didn't get trampled. I fixed myself on the couch, and just left Tom there snoring away happily. If he got stepped on he did.

Simone bounded out of the kitchen. "Georg! Gustav! Oh how we've missed you so!" She kissed them each on their cheeks. The guy she addressed as Georg was very tall and muscley, long dark hair, serious face but it lit up easily showing his inner kid. Gustav on the other hand had short blondish hair, and his expression was made out of stone. He seemed like he took life a little too serious. Oh well to each their own.

Bill attacked them with hugs. "Bill don't be rude! Introduce them to your little friend! I have to get back to dinner, so make yourselves at home!" She scurried away.

Georg spoke up first. "Ah, Bill you finally get yourself a girlfriend?" Bill blushed a deep red.

"Uh, no." He sounded disappointed. "This is Aimee, she was my and Tom's first friend when we moved here, she's amazing."

He stepped over Tom and lifted me up into a gigantic hug. He wouldn't release until I gave a big hug back. "What's with this family and hugging people?" I said aloud, that made everyone chuckle even Gustav. "Nice to meet you Georg." I smiled at him.

"You too," He smiled sweetly down at me. "And this is Gustav, I mine as well introduce you guys, because Gustav don't really talk a lot, so I didn't want you to think he's being rude." He smiled over to his friend.

I sauntered my way over towards him, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I lamely held out my hand waiting for him to grasp it. Instead he stepped forward and hugged the crap out of me. We all laughed again. "I could go for some food, when will dinner be ready?" Gustav asked Bill. I groaned out loud and mumbled something about too much food.

"Dinner should be ready in about an hour, I think it'll only be you guys, and maybe Tom if he ever wakes his lazy ass up. Me and Aimee are having killer bellyaches! She beat me in a chocolate eating contest!" He tried to explain the very eventful day to his cousins. I refused to eat for a while, I didn't want to outgrow anything, then He would surely think I was a pig. I shook out my thoughts. Today was going to be a good day, I wasn't going to let him penetrate my mind any other time today.

When everyone was called in for dinner, me and Bill just retreated to the quiet confines of his room. Today has to have been the best day of my life. My stomach didn't even hurt that bad anymore. I did feel drained though.

"Bill?" I asked sleepily laying down on his nice soft bed.

"Hm?" He asked preoccupied with fixing the covers, he was such a neat freak! I mean we were just going to lay on the covers anyways, so what did it matter if they were neat or not?

"I think I'm having a sugar crash, I can barely keep my eyes open!" I said, faintly laughing, then yawning real big.

He smiled over at me then hopped on the bed with all of his strength, it almost sent me falling off the bed, but he wrapped his strong arms around me. I turned around and snuggled close to his body. I wrapped my mind around the fact it felt like our bodies matched together. I sighed contently as he ran his fingers through my damp hair from the shower. He knew I was lapping it up, I felt him smile against my hair as he gave my head little kisses. I could really get used to this feeling. I never wanted it to end.

"Oh and Aimee?" He asked after a while, he seemed a little nervous. I looked up to face him, I could faintly see the outline of his face in the semi-darkness.

"Yes Bill?" I asked sweetly up to him.

"I like you back too." He stated and I smiled.

He gently put his thumb under my chin and lifted my face towards him. Our lips connected, and this was a real sweet kiss. Out lips moved in sync, and it felt like fireworks were going off behind my eyes. I felt his tongue tracing my bottom lip, but I thought it was too soon, so I gently pulled away. I gave him a tiny peck on his nose. "Wow." Was all I could say.

"Wow, indeed."

**Did you like it? :D I hope so!**

**Question: What are you doing right now. What are you wearing. And what time is it [AM/PM]. And are you listening to music?**

**-Stalker questions! Lol… I'm about to go to bed right now. I'm wearing skinny jeans and a Shinedown shirt, bout to change. And it's about 3:40AM :3 and I **_**was**_** listening to Bill, but now David Bowie is on :D**

**REVIEW! **


	13. Suprise!

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Man, you know your bored when you creep on like 15 peoples FB profiles… not like I just did that or anything… Oh and this has been one of the most boring weekends ever. I slept til 6. Did ALL of my over due math homework… and the sad part I'm pretty sure I did it all right… without a calculator O_O *gassp* lmao im hopeless.**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 13: Surprise!

*Journal*

August 2008

Fuck my life! Just damn it all to hell! What did I ever do to deserve the torture that high school brings? You may think I'm over reacting, but I'm not! My first month of high school is coming to a close, and the kids have made it so I'm terribly miserable. I even braved a talk to my father about changing schools, and that's how you know I'm totally desperate. He surprisingly understood and talked to me calmly. He wouldn't let me change schools. He still worries me though.

He's been strangely nice to me ever since he touched me. Not that I'm complaining, but I mean what if its all just one big act? What if he's only pretending, and then he just snaps! Okay, I need to calm down. I still go to sleep every night in fear. But could you blame me? I mean yeah he still beats me, and hits me, but I deserve everything he gives me.

Lately he's been having friends over… like lady friends. I hear the things they do, and it's gross. I think they are prostitutes. He tells me he uses them so he wouldn't let loose on me. I should be grateful but I know the moment he grows tired of fucking lifeless scum, it'll be me he comes after. And the day he rapes me, I just don't know what I'm going to do then. Is it bad I know it's going to happen eventually and I'm just sitting here doing nothing about it? Yeah, definitely, but I have my reasons.

Their weak reasons though. Childish I know. But I'm just so scared! I'm scared of what will happen if he gets taken away, I'll have nobody then. Plus, I've talked to my school counselors ever since my mom died, and I've failed to mention anything about my dad hurting me. They wont believe me, I just know it. I'll tell someone when I'm ready… I'm just so tired of waking up and going to sleep in fear everyday.

I'm still cutting. It's getting worse. It's like my drug, anything bad that happens to me I run home and look for my razor. Which I have taped in the front of my journal. Lame, I know. Like today. Today had to have been one of the worst days in high school so far. Their is this bitch, she has all my classes sadly, her name is Hanna. I've known her since kindergarten, she's always been a bully towards me, but now she's just plain horrible. Today in the lunch room she spilled her whole lunch tray on me. The only thing that was disgusting and got everywhere was the Ranch dressing, it mixed with her milk and went all over my hair and shirt. Her fries stuck to the nasty concoxion.

Nobody laughed though, so that has to be a good thing right? Puh-lease. My self-esteem dropped like 50 billion notches right there, no one laughed because they probably thought I was going to have a breakdown. _Watch where your going you fuck-tard! _Was her witty comeback, which was completely lame, considering I was sitting down. I shot her a dirty look before I bounded to the exit. And what sucked even more was that the security guards wouldn't let me leave until the bell rang! What kind of shit is that?

I had to walk around in my undershirt, which happened to be a tank top. I had to hold my arms in weird poses all day, because I didn't want them to see my cuts and scars. They didn't need an actual reason to start rumors, that were true. The sad part was that I had bruises in the form of hand prints all up my arms. I wanted to breakdown crying throughout the rest of the day… no one noticed… which meant I really am as invisible as everyone tells me.

I want to stop cutting… I truly do. But I feel like I need it too much. Oh I met this girl today, her name is Rin, she sort of dresses like me. I've seen the scars all over her arms, but yet she doesn't seem ashamed of them. I even asked her about them today. She told me her dad does it to her as punishment. I mean I don't know what to believe there, considering I've been through worse, so I mean anything is possible there. I refuse to tell her about anything in my life though, I didn't want to get close to her. I didn't trust her. She's beautiful, like a gothic angel. I met her in the library on maybe the first week of school.

I feel all blah. My mind is so random. At least writing in my journal keeps my mind off of things for a while, which I'm grateful for. I just wish high school was over already, I was ready to grow up and get out of this town, or even the country. No place would be far enough away from this town and the horrid people in it.

My arms are destroyed. I have over 40 cuts on both of my arms, and even more scars. I'm going to try for real this time. I'm not going to cut. Wish me luck.

Goodnight Journal.

*End*

I didn't want to wake up right now! I felt so wonderfully warm and cozy. I peaked open my eyes, of course I did. I was surrounded by Bill and his blankets. This was a lovely sight to wake up to, I was in the same position as when I went to sleep, Bill's arms were laying limply around me, one under my head and one draped over my waist. He really was simply amazing. His head was under my chin, which made my head tilt back at a very uncomfortable position, but I wasn't complaining. Our feet were even tied up together. This feeling was great, it felt like we were molded together. I laughed quietly and smiled.

I glanced at his clock at the far end of his room, it read 8AM. I was up very early and I didn't like it, I mind as well stay up though. I slowly took Bill's arm off my waist, and moved my legs away from his, I had to go to the bathroom. I sat up even slower, and a smile came to my lips when he stirred a little bit, but quickly fell back to sleep. He looked so peaceful and beautiful in his sleep. I almost ruined it too, when I got up I almost tripped to the floor over some of his strewn clothes. I quickly regained balance though.

I quickly found my way to the bathroom. It was huge by the way, it was a light pink with a painted flower my the light switch, it was pretty. I took my time in there, it felt so nice not having to rush for once. Today was only Saturday, and it felt weird not having to deal with Him. I wonder how long he was going to be at his office thing. I could only hope he'd stay for like ever. I wonder if the rest of the Kaulitz family would know when the office thing would end?

I yawned and opened the door, I heard someone busying themselves in the kitchen. I made my way out there and I saw Simone hurrying about around the stove and fridge. "Need any help?" I asked.

She jumped at my presence. "No thank you dear, I'm just about to sit the food out! Oh, you could poor some drinks?"

I nodded as I made my way over to the fridge. "What does everyone like?"

"Bill and Tom adore chocolate milk," My stomach felt nauseous at the mention of chocolate, especially since yesterday. I don't think I'll ever be about to eat it ever again. "Georg and Gustav likes orange juice I think, they should be up soon, their very early risers." She said cheerily. Yeah, my normal mood was back, I couldn't do cheery this early in the morning.

I poured everything and sat them around the table, I decided to put some pancakes, bacon and eggs on everyone's plates too. It was fun actually helping out someone who cared, I knew Simone appreciated it. It was weird, but I loved her like a mom, is that odd because I like her son? I didn't think it was.

"Here you go dear, you look a little tired." She handed me a glass of orange juice and sat down next to me on a bar stool. "I'd really like to talk to you, if you don't mind." I didn't mind, I trusted Simone, she knew what I was going through.

"What do you want to talk about." I whispered to her, not wanting to chance the guys waking up and hearing.

"I want to know the truth about why me and the boys didn't see you for those days you were suspended. Bill was so worriedly sick! Finally I had enough of it and sent him over to see you. It was awful, I've never seen him that worried before…" She trailed off waiting for my answer.

I blushed a little bit, it felt weird to confide to somebody. "My dad… he hurt me really bad, it's hard to talk about."

She patted me on my back motherly. "I'm here for you, you know."

I nodded holding back tears. "I know Simone, its just that it's really tough."

She nodded sympathetically. "Trust me I know. Oh, before I forget, can I ask you something?"

I giggled, Simone reminded me of a teenager being happy. "Sure, what is it?"

"What's going on between you and Bill?" She whispered giddily to me. I blushed like 10 shades of red, because I felt my face gradually heating up until it was burning of embarrassment. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm glad Bill finally found someone that don't treat him awful… you and him have so much in common!" She clapped her hands together.

I shook my head. "I don't know what's going on at all. All I know is that were closer than we were than we met, and I'm happy…" I tried to rephrase that. "He makes me happy, and I'm glad he's in my life… I think I'm falling for him… hard." I admitted out loud.

Her face lit up. "That's exactly what I needed to hear! I'm so glad!" Fuck my life. Bill definitely got his hyperness from Simone. I was in the middle of retreating back to Bill's room when she quietly walked to me again. "Do you think you'll tell him?" I knew what she meant all too well, she was talking about my secrets.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I blushed. "I'm scared of what he'll think."

She sighed. "I think you need to tell him soon, he needs to know…" She trailed off and she stared at me with bleary eyes. Damn, I hope she didn't cry, I didn't do tears. She shook her head slowly, "Sorry about that. It's just that, he could understand you okay?"

"I don't think he could Simone, he has no idea. But you're right, he needs to know, but I'm not ready to tell him about it. But I promise, I'll tell him sometime." I said back to her, low and almost inaudible.

She tried to give me a pointedly look but I tried not to look in her eyes. "Very well. And I know Bill has people issues, but I know you'll make him one lucky guy…" She was too happy for me.

"Do you think he'll even ask me out?" I asked doubting myself.

"Honey, I know so." She smiled at me. She gave me a long hug and sent me off to be with Bill.

I took a walk down their long hallway, I heard someone rummaging around in the bathroom, the shower turned on. I'm glad I got up when I did and went to the bathroom. I hated that. When you had to pee really bad and you wake up to find out someone was in the bathroom. I laughed aloud, then looked around. Damn. Georg was there staring at me with a look of amusement of his face, I bet I looked like a moron to him. Randomly laughing and whatnot.

"How's it going there Aimee?" He asked. His long hair was up in a low ponytail. He had a towel draped over his shoulder waiting for whoever it was to get out of the shower.

"Um, I'm just still a little bit tired I guess." I leaned against the wall. Incase he still wanted to talk, I mean I didn't really have anything to do. It would be cool to get to know Bill's family a little more.

He yawned then. "Oh yah? Same. Me and Gustav have a horrible case of jetlag, I forced myself to get up this early, to set my sleep pattern back to normal." He seemed like a person who could go on and on about random pointless stories.

"I've never traveled before, so I wouldn't know about jetlag." I was pathetic, I must have been the only person in the world who hasn't traveled before.

"You've never traveled before?" I stared at me in shock.

"Um no." I laughed. "I plan on traveling when I move out though, this town is so boring!"

"Tell me about it. When you and Bill went to bed last night, Tom showed me and Gustav the sights… there are so many pricks here!" He said in disgust.

"Yeah, I know! People are dumb. How long are you all staying?" I asked changing the subject.

His face fell a little bit. "Gustav and I, our parents just died, so were moving here permanently," My face fell too, I shouldn't have asked. "The twins don't know yet, so promise not to tell?" He pleaded.

I nodded. "I promise. I'm sorry to hear about it, I know how you feel, my mom died too." I said trying to make him feel better.

"Sorry back." He smiled at me. Just then Bill came bounding down the hallway wiping sleep out of his eyes.

He shot daggers at the closed bathroom door. "Damnit!" He practically yelled. I giggled, which made Georg laugh too. He spun around. "It's not funny, I really have to pee!" He whined. I tried to control my laughs, but it didn't help when Tom came running down the hallway.

"Screw you Gustav!" He yelled banging on the door. "I'm coming in! I have to piss like a racehorse in the middle of December!" I wont question him. But now everyone was laughing, Bill was clenching his bladder bent over laughing like crazy.

Ah, if mornings were like this, I could definitely get used to staying here on the weekend. It was pretty amazing. "Tom you bastard!" Gustav yelled furiously. We heard the shower water stop. The bathroom door opened and Tom ran out of the room holding up his pants, Gustav wasn't too far behind holding a towel around his lower half. "I'll teach you to flush the toilet while I'm showering!" I was practically on the floor laughing my ass off.

Bill took it as his opportunity to run into the bathroom. I gave Georg a look, he was laughing his ass off too. I caught my breath. "Is it always this hectic in the mornings?"

He only nodded before stalking back to the guest room. It made me happy, I never had to sleep in the guest room while I was here. My heart swelled. Arms wrapped around my waist from behind. I turned around. "Hallo beautiful." Bill whispered. I blushed.

"Hey yourself." I stood on my tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He pouted. A very sexy pout I might add too. "Fine!" I laughed. He bent down and kissed me slowly. I think I could get used to this. I just needed to figure out what we were.

"AWWW!" We both looked up and saw a gaping Tom standing in front of us with a very pissed off Gustav in tow. "About time you lovebirds showed some affection, I knew you liked him Aimee!" He gave my side a little poke. It made me jump, I didn't like being poked. He did it again.

"Damnit Tom!" I slapped at his hands. He only laughed as he walked out to the kitchen, no doubt to devour what Simone made. Gustav slowly followed.

I laughed and shook my head, I turned back to Bill. He was looking at me adoringly, it made my stomach have butterflies. The way he was looking at me made me feel wanted, something I've always wanted to feel. The feeling was great. I looked up at him the same way. I loved his gorgeous hair, how it fell in straight waves over his shoulders. I loved his yummy chocolate orbs, the only kind of chocolate I could bear to look at. I loved his lanky form, I loved his flirty smile, his personality, his teeth, his EVERYTHING! He made me feel hope.

I smiled up at him and he just shook his head and leaned down to give me a kiss. He wrapped my hand in his and we walked to the kitchen, just like that, hand in hand. When Simone saw it she beamed at us, even more at her son, probably for getting over his fear of liking someone. I'm glad I could be that girl, someone he could finally trust and like, without having to worry. I would try my best not to hurt him. I hope I could keep good on that, if Bill was hurting, I was going to be hurting.

I only picked at my breakfast, I didn't want to gain any weight. I know I sounded like one of those girls who obsessed over their weight, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want Him to think I've been sneaking food under his nose then he'd punish me. I hope no one noticed my lack of appetite. Oh course they did, everyone seemed to notice.

"Aren't you hungry?" Georg asked.

I shook my head. "My stomach hurts from yesterday…" I trailed off.

"Still?" Boomed Tom. He had a look of shock on his face.

"Well excuse me for not being able to eat every 2 seconds! We don't keep sweets in my house, so I'm not used to the effects of sugar!" I said, a little agitated.

"More like every one second!" Gustav shot back to Tom.

"You guys are funny!" Tom stated sarcastically.

"Okay you guys!" Simone tried to get everyone to calm down. "Gustav and Georg have some news they want to share with everyone…" I knew the news already, I just hoped Bill and Tom took it alright.

Georg wore a look of uncertainty, he took a giant breath. "Um, I don't know how to start off…" He stayed silent for a while. Bill and Tom looked on their toes, they were dying to know. I knew their looks anywhere. Georg sighed but continued. "Eric and Katrina…" Those must have been their parents names. I felt sorry for them, he paused again, not knowing how to say it. "They passed away a few days ago…" He trailed off. Bill's hand tightened around mine, almost painfully.

"Oh my gosh, what happened? How are you guys taking it?" Bill said, he sounded so motherly, always caring about the other person.

"We've been better. They were in a car crash, they were hit by a drunk driver, their tiny car was totaled." He finished, with unshed tears in his eyes. Bill stood up abruptly dropping my hand and rushing over to Georg, poor guy, he just lost his Aunt and Uncle and Georg and Gustav lost their parents. Bill gave them both long big hugs. They hugged back, they really looked like they needed it. "Were both moving in permanently with you guys though!" He said a little more happily. Bill and Tom's eyes lit up.

XxX

After breakfast me and Bill went to his room, we were thinking about what to do. I plopped my lazy self down on his bed sprawling out on my back with my arms stretched out over my head. What to do what to do? "You're so lazy!" Bill whined to me.

I laughed and looked over at him. "Yeah, I'm the lazy one, what are you doing?"

"Not about to lay down next to you, if that's what your getting at!" He nosily laid down next to me. "I want to share something with you later tonight alright?"

I got nervous. "What are you going to do?"

He only laughed at my question. "It's a surprise of course! But hopefully you'll like it!"

I smiled. "I'm sure I'll like it."

"Oh really?" He questioned. "How can you be so sure?" He raised his pierced eyebrow at me.

I toyed with it, moving it around with my fingers. "Anything that comes from you I know I'll like."

"Why's that?"

"Because it's coming from you of course!" I laughed. "Silly boy."

We laid there for a while, just staring in each others eyes. It was a very sweet moment. After a while we just started to talk about so many random things. "Is your dad gone for an office thing too?" I asked.

"He is." He nodded

"Will our dad's get back at the same time? I'd really like to know so I can be prepared for my dad this time." I laughed. "Last time wasn't so great, remember that?"

"How could I forget, I was scared out of my mind!" He laughed loudly. "And I'm pretty sure they'll get back at the same time, sometime Tuesday I think." He smiled at me, then kissed my knuckled, he flipped over my arm, inspecting it. "I'm glad you haven't cut."

I looked at my arm too, it was hideous, but not as bad as it used to be. "I'm glad too, I've been battling with it for a while now, you were my inspiration to stop." I said to him.

He blushed. "I'm glad. Here, I'll show you this." He sat up slowly and motioned for me to follow. He flipped over his arms. They were covered in scars, they shined white in the light. "It's nothing I'm proud of, but I had my reasons I guess." He said sounding ashamed of himself.

"Hey," I said sweetly. "Don't feel bad okay? I know how you feel, I cut myself for almost 5 years and then you came along… I'm grateful for you, ya know?"

He smiled sadly back at me. "I'm grateful for you too Aimee. Lets just say, I cut myself for almost 8 years. I still sometimes have the urge, but I overcome it."

I nodded. "It's hard. But now we have each other." I looked into his eyes as I said it.

I leaned in for a kiss, he gladly accepted. How could I get so lucky to have him? I loved it.

XxX

"Ready Aimee?" He spoke to me from outside of the bathroom. I had to borrow some of his clothes, I was staying the night again, and he was about to take me to my surprise. I was dressed in a white button down shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. I finished brushing my hair and opened the bathroom door.

"Yessir!" I said cheerily. I grabbed his hand and let him lead me to wherever he was going to take me. He led me to the back sliding glass door, it was pitch black outside, but he was determined to take me somewhere. I should be scared, walking into the black, but I felt calm, knowing Bill was leading me there. He maneuvered me through his backyard and when he found what he was looking for he turned to me and lifted me up. He sat me down on something.

I saw him rummaging around for something, I heard a faint click and the night was illuminated with pretty shimmering lights. I took in my surroundings, I was on a gazebo, surrounded my part lights, that looked like shimmering lightning bugs fluttering around my head. This was so beautiful, I cant believe he thought of something like this.

"What do you think?" He asked sitting down next to me, grasping my hand.

"Bill! It's so lovely." The crisp air was blowing my hair around my face.

"I'm glad you think so, because I was wanting to ask you something." He said a little nervously.

Which made me nervous. "What's that?"

He hesitated a little bit. He was so cute when he was nervous. "Aimee?" He started off. "Will you be, my girlfriend?" He blushed deep and looked into my eyes.

I was speechless, but I managed to squeak out, "Yes!" Very excitedly I attacked his lips, it felt so romantic, we kissed fiercely and passionately. He was mine now, and I was his.

**YOU LIKE! :3 I hope so! I broke 4,000 words, and used 10 pages on Word Processor :D**

**Question: What's a bad habit you have/addiction?**

**I have multiple bad habits, like I look at peoples lips when they talk, crack my knuckles, I tend to be rude at bad times, I always have to touch something… I'm weird I know. My addiction has to be face book, eBay… which reminds me, my Tokio Hotel shoes should be here soon, I'll post pics on my FB, so if you wanna see, just ask for the link…. And I just ordered a TH cellphone charm…. Gawd I need rehab xD**

***REVIEW***


	14. By Your Side

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Lol, I have to pee reallllyyy bad, but my mom's showering O_O Anyways, I don't think I have anything to drone on and on about right now :3 **

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 14: By Your Side

*Journal*

October 2008

It'll be Halloween soon, I've never been trick-or-treating before, I feel like such a fail. And I'm probably not going to be allowed out anytime soon anyways, because of what happened… I'm crying again, I'm such a horrible person, and a bad kid. Rin gave me a note in the library, and didn't want me to read it until way later. And me being the dumb ass I am, I forgot all about it until I got home. Lets just say, my dad got to read the note before I did. I don't know what's fucking wrong with me, why didn't I remember? Because of Rin, and my little mistake, my life is again tumbling downward again. My dad thinks I'm a lesbian now. Here the note will explain, I taped it under this:

_Hello gorgeous :3_

_We've known each other for a couple of months now, and I feel like you know the real me. I don't have to hide when I'm around you, I just open up and share my feelings and opinions with you, and you always nod and agree. Even though sometimes I know what I do is wrong, you're always there for me, you always have my back. I knew you were going to be my best friend, ever since I saw you walk through those library doors, with tears shining in your bright blue eyes. I wanted to comfort you, but, wouldn't that be a little weird? Yeah, it would have been._

_Now that we've bonded, over the stupidest of things, the book Twilight. I saw you reading it one day, and I knew that was my chance to get to know you. We both loved that book. I ruined it for you, by telling you the Cullen's were vampires, but I mean, chick! Read the back of the books! :]_

_Darling, even though you may not think it, but you mean a lot to me, and I know you have one too many secrets hidden within your exterior. But if your willing to, I'll do whatever it takes to break you. I'll be here for you no matter what, I'll take an oath. Because as weird as it sounds, Aimee, I think I love you. A lot. I guess this is me asking you out. You are the prettiest thing I've ever set eyes on, and I just wanted to let you know I guess. This is the one thing I've kept from you. I'm bi, and I have a huge crush on you._

_And you need to stop complaining about how you think you're not pretty, because even my brother thinks your sexy, he'll be here later in the year, and I don't want him to sweep you out of my feet. That is, if you like me back? This is cheesy, but check yes or no? _

_~Rin_

_P.S: I'm here for you whenever you need me, even though it may seem I'm only out for myself, I will easily put you in front of everything, if you would kindly give me the chance? I know, I'm awkward, but what better way to go than being straight forward? Ily chick, ttyl… : )_

That note was from Rin, she gave it to me about a week ago… it may seem bad, but I tried it out, I haven't felt so wanted before, it was worth a try right? Hah! Funny! Rin did nothing but try to manipulate me into something I'm not. She fucking broke my heart! Cheated on me in front of my own eyes, with some douche bag Michael. I just can't get over it though, she tells me she "loves" me then blows me off for some ass! And no we didn't even get to the kiss stage yet. Which I'm glad.

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I that desperate for love and attention that I'll jump at any chance I get? You couldn't blame me though. But now I know my mistake, I'm never going to be so naïve again, besides, I'm only a freshman, I have so much longer to go before I should even start worrying about finding love. Besides the point!

My dad, he's such a sick bastard. He got so cocky and maybe even turned on when he found the note. I know so, he's not being nice to me anymore. He read the note to me, then voiced out scenarios where I'm making out with chicks, and… and then… he made me put my hand on… his crotch while he was talking. It's nasty isn't it? He made me feel his cock grow hard, at the fantasies of ME kissing girls. What the fuck. I'm his own flesh and blood. He's such a pervert. After that, it was the first time I feared for my life in a while.

He threw me in the closet and locked me in. I cried and yelled, and he told me, _The more your fat ass yells, the longer you stay in there, and I swear to god, if you tell that filthy whore anything about what goes on in my house, I'll fucking kill you, got it?_ I can still hear his voice as it pierced through my ears, I was scared.

In worse news, I cut again. And when I did, it wasn't a little scratch. It was really deep, it made me pass out, but I was grateful for the darkness to take over. But it also frightened me. I don't know what I'm going to do! Hopefully it'll get better… I'll try to think positive, instead of negative, but we'll see.

Night Journal… hope I have a peaceful one.

*End Journal*

*1 Week Later*

I sighed peacefully as I uncurled myself from Bill's side, being his girlfriend has been amazing. I finally got to met their father, Jorg. He is super intimidating! He's scary huge, graying brown hair, tall, wide, but not fat, just really muscular. He don't try to talk to me, and I don't talk to him at all either, I feel bad and all, but he just gives me bad vibes. Call me crazy, but usually I'm right about these things. Bill don't seem too worried about his attitude toward me, he even says he likes me, in a real enthusiastic way. Pssh, Germans.

My dad hasn't been home since the weekend I stayed with Bill, and apparently my dad told Jorg and Simone, I could stay until further notice. Like whenever the hell he gets back from the office. My stomach is feeling really under the weather, I've gained weight, and I feel like puking with all this sudden weight gain. It hurts really bad, I've been feeling really light headed. Simone said it's because I wasn't used to eating a lot and such. But I felt ginormous!

I've resulted in sharing Bill's pants it's become that bad. They tease me about it, about me getting pudgy. I laugh and play along, but it hurts me deeply. My eyes started to water, god I'm so stupid, I'm whining over a couple of pounds. I'm just worried about what He might think, I'm going to have hell to pay when he gets back, no daughter of his would gain pounds within a week. He's going to have too much fun. I sighed, this was going to be awful.

It was still quite early, but I decided to hop up to get ready for school anyways. School has been a blast with Georg and Gustav there! Georg has already been into a fight, with no other than Hanna's current pick of the… day? I don't know, but her current fling accused Georg of eye fucking her in Branger's class! It was classic! You just had to be there, so what is Georg swung first, the ass hole was totally asking for it. Me and Georg have all classes together, and me and Gus only have 1. We all have 5th period together, how we got away with that, who knows.

I've been forced to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner! My stomach grumbles and gives a sick tumble at the thought of food. I'm going to have to figure out a way to get myself out of eating today, I just didn't know how yet. I didn't know how the twins stayed so skinny, they ate like sumo wrestlers! Well not really, you get my metaphor though. I don't see where they put it all! Bill is stick skinny, and Tom is sort of chubby in the face, but other than that their toned. I would have to start working out somehow.

I quickly went over to Bill's closet and rummaged through his selection of pants, which he had a lot of. I chose a pair of dark blue jeans, and I mind as well take one of his shirts. Hmm, I thought really hard about it, I decided on some Tokio Hotel shirt. What a lame band name. Pssh. :3 Anyways, I slid the shirt over my head and managed to change before Bill even woke up, fucking heavy sleeper, I was jealous. I stole some of his socks, and put on my worn out converse. I was such a freeloader! I shook my head and made my way back to Bill.

I silently climbed up next to his beautiful sleeping form, he was breathing slowly in and out. He really was something. I slid in and wrapped my arms around him, and ran my fingers through his hair. He loved when I did that, it was so sweet. He stirred and smiled in his sleep, moving closed and nuzzling his face into my neck. I kissed him on his forehead. I'm so glad he was mine. "Bill sweetie," I whispered in his ear. "Time to get up." I've been waking him up like this since we woke up together.

"Hmm?" Ew, morning breath. Somehow I didn't mind though.

"It's time to get up gorgeous," I kissed the hollow of his neck. He playfully moaned. He was such a sweetheart. He leaned down and kissed me full on the lips, I sighed happily and deepened the kiss. Bill told me, waking up like this makes him really happy, and I don't blame him. Ever since we started dating, we've been making out a whole lot, but its Bill freaking Kaulitz! The sweetest guy in the world, I mean what would you do!

He pulled away sleepily and went to change and do his normal morning routine, did I mention he was adorable? Hey, I couldn't help it, I was love struck or something. I yawned and laid back on the bed, with my arms spread over my head. I wish this feeling could never end.

About half an hour later Bill finally emerged from the bathroom, he tried to be sneaky, but I heard him coming, I let him have his fun though. He crawled on top of me and just sat there. I laughed. "Are you serious?" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"As serious as cereal honey." He stuck his tongue out at me too. We were a bunch of kids. He held my arms over my head and placed butterfly kissed all over my neck, I loved it when he kissed my neck.

XxX

The whole family was seated at the dining table when me and Bill made our way down the giant hallway. Simone blushed happily at us as we took out seats. I stared down at my food and immediately felt like I was going to throw up everywhere. I tried to put forth an effort of pushing the food around my plate. Bill noticed first he seemed worried. "Do you feel well?"

"Yeah…" I tried to fake it, but now everyone's attention was settled on us.

Jorg decided to talk, making me want to cower, with his strong and tough voice. "Now, Aimee, do you feel well enough to go to school?"

"Yes, but.." He cut me off before I could finish.

"There are no butt's in this house. If you want to stay, then you will eat, you must not waste what my beautiful wife makes. Wasting is like disgrace, you wouldn't want Simone to feel bad no would you?" I shrank back into Bill's side, which made him flinch a little bit. At least I wasn't the only one who thought he was intimidating.

"No, I wouldn't…" I said quietly.

"Okay then. Eat up." He smiled then laughed.

I stared at my eggs, toast, bacon and waffles. Holy shit, where was it all going to go! The eggs looked safe enough, I nibbled at them slowly but quickly, I didn't want to have everyone waiting on me. I left a bite of eggs, then went on to the bacon, I combined the toast and that together. I couldn't do it, I felt like I was going to fucking pop out of Bill's clothes. I wanted to puke, I was so disgusted with myself for even trying to eat.

"Honey, you don't have to eat everything," Simone told me quietly when Jorg stepped out to warm up the car. "I can tell your feeling under the weather, and I wont force you to eat." She said with a hopeful tone to her voice. I gave her my plate eagerly. "You'll have to excuse Jorg, he can be a little intimidating, but he don't like wasting things, and well stuff." She nodded sadly at me.

Bill took hold of my hand, and I had to get up slowly. "You feeling okay sweetie?" He asked, concern laced in his pretty little voice.

I wobbled a little bit. "I think I'll be okay, but I'm trying not to miss that many days of school, so I'd be going anyways." I faked a weak smile.

He kissed me on the top of the head. "You worry me sometimes." He sighed. Then all 5 of us made our way out to the car for school.

Oh getting in the car is tricky! It's hilarious really. Gustav sat up front because he was a bit bigger than everyone else. Georg sat on the outer side in the back, tom in the middle, then Bill, then I sat half on Bill's lap and half on the seat. Were great, it even drove Jorg crazy! And whatever pissed him off made me smile. Ugh there was something that got me about him, and I wanted to know real soon!

XxX

I winced with every step I took towards first period, the pain I was feeling didn't feel real. A stabbing in my belly, and a pukey feel. I sarcastically laughed at myself out loud, today was going to be shity. I walked to German hand in hand with my boyfriend, and Georg on the other side. He was pretty hilarious. Everyone found him intimidating, so they pretty much steered clear of out group of friends, which I needed. My self esteem hasn't been hurt that bad since he came to school.

"Babe!" Georg said dramatically throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Are you sure your feeling okay? You look paler than Bill! And have you seen him?" He sounded like he was joking, but he was being serious.

"Honestly I feel like complete utter shit." I stated bluntly.

Bill gave me a kiss on the cheek. "What do you thinks wrong?" Poor guy, I was burdening myself on him.

Georg whispered to us. "Bill man… you didn't knock her up did you!" My eyes bugged out of my sockets and I glanced sideways at Bill. His face was the color of crimson.

"What the hell dude! No!" He whined back. God with the bickering. Cool, now I had a fucking headache. He turned swiftly to me, "What do you thinks wrong?" He repeated again.

"God, I think it has to do with all the food I've been eating since I've been staying with you guys, I'm not used to…" Damn, I was about to say _I'm not used to eating everyday…_

Georg was dumb and just kept talking. "You must have not been eating well then, because you are seriously pudging up!" He squeezed my cheeks. "Awh, so chubby!"

I gasped, my hands flew to my cheeks. I felt my eyes start to water. "I'm not getting fat, am I?" Bill gave Georg a dirty look.

"Sorry, sheesh, your just so cute with your chubby little cheeks!" HE grinned at me.

"My cheeks are NOT chubby!" I felt like a retard, arguing with someone about my cheeks.

"Dude, cool it!" Bill defended me. "And no sweetie, your not getting fat." He kissed me full on the mouth, making my worries go away. Even though I knew I was gaining weight myself.

The bell rang and we all filed into German class. Bill and Georg sat with me and Rin. Bill in front and Georg behind me, Rin sat to my left. "What the fuck happened to you!" She stated at me. She was just playing around, but it still made me feel like, well, shit!

"I feel awful, thanks for noticing." I said sarcastically. I took my seat, and my stomach immediately began to flip out. Great, it was going to be one of those days. And it didn't help, because every couple of seconds Georg would poke me in the side. I would tell him to stop but he wasn't having it. I needed to get out of eating for a few days soon. This was killing me. I wrapped my arms tightly around my stomach and put my head on my desk.

I felt bad for Bill, because you could tell he wanted to do something about it, but he was helpless. Finally I made it through 1st period, now hopefully the day will get better. Bill walked me to Art class. "Now, if you need anything, don't hesitate to come find me, I'm here for you. Or it'd be easier if you asked Tom or Georg, their here for you when I cant be, okay sweetie?" I only nodded, I didn't feel like talking. It made me feel nauseous.

We kissed. Yeah, I could never get over kissing that boy. Tom and Georg sat with me in my little corner, and Mr. R could get the fuck over it, because today wasn't the day to mess with me. I felt all pukey again, so I made Tom set with me, I was leaning on him and he was trying to cool me down by waving some paper on me. Poor guy, I bet he felt awkward holding his brothers girlfriend in a time of need…

My thoughts were cut short when a giant stabbing feeling went through my body. I tensed and rose up quickly. "Fuck! Are you okay!" Tom was freaking out.

"I. Don't. Know." I said between clenched teeth, still trying to stay calm. I raised my hand for the teacher. He came over quickly at my and Tom's expressions.

"Yes?" He asked nervously, probably thinking I'm going to break down or something. I was close to it.

"I need to go to the bathroom!" I said quickly. Was it hot in here? I started to sweat.

"Are you sure? Do you need to go call someone?" He was really worried for me. And that's why he's my favorite teacher.

"I think I'll be better after I puke or something!" I rushed out.

He gave me the orange pass and ushered me out of the room quickly. I practically ran towards the bathroom when I felt my stomach drop and my mouth started to pool with spit. I shoved the door open and ran into a stall. Of course it didn't lock. I didn't give a fuck at the moment. I leaned over the toilet and puked my guts out. That was an exaggeration. Even though it felt like that. My poor stomach, its had too much food in it, it felt good to release all that built up stress and extra food. I raised up my shirt to inspect my stomach… it looked fucking swollen! It hurt to the touch… Damn, I did look like a Pudgy Pidgey! I had to show Bill…

I sat there pathetically on the dirty bathroom floor and dry heaved for at least 20 minutes. That's when the lunch bell rang anyways. I couldn't do lunch, I texted Bill instead, I bet he was freaking out by now.

**A: Go to the library please?**

**B: Ok, we'll be there in a second.**

**A: Just you please? :/**

**B: Sure thing, are you alright?**

**A: I hope.**

I waited for about 5 minutes before I gathered my strength to leave the bathroom, I checked my appearance, I looked sick, but otherwise I was fine. Thank god the library was across the hall from the bathrooms, because I didn't know if I would be able to stand that long. I rushed in and signed my name. Bill stood there in our corner… _our corner _waiting for me.

I walked as fast as I could and ran into his open arms, I fucking cried a little bit. "Are you okay?" He needed to know.

I took his hand and led him to where no one could see us, his face looked even more scared now. "I-I don't think I'm okay.."

He swallowed. "What do you mean?"

I stepped away from him and lifted up my shirt, he gasped. I didn't even want to look at it, even Bill's pants were to where I didn't need a belt. They just fit snug around my waist. I used to be so tiny compared to him, this wasn't right. I was getting swollen. "Why is your stomach all swollen?" He sounded so sad.

"Honestly?" He only nodded, rushing me to continue. "Well… I'm not used to eating this much food.. Usually I never eat at all, and I went from that to all this food, and I think that's what its from." I looked down and sighed. I felt ashamed.

"What do you mean you barely ate?"

"I'm anorexic…" I made eye contact with him. "Sometimes I even puked up my food…" I'm such a conversation killer.

He gasped. I thought he was about to leave me, but what he did shocked me. He put both hands on the side of my face and kissed me before pulling me into a giant hug. "No offense, but when we first met, and stuff, I thought you had an eating disorder, but I didn't want to be so forward about it." He frowned. "You're just so freaking tiny!"

"I know I need food, but I cant eat anything else today, or soon," He tried to object, but I kept talking. "BUT when I feel empty and hungry, and when my belly goes back to normal, will you help me eat and get healthy? Like eat small amounts at a time?" I cant believe I told him a big secret about my life… and it felt good to get it off my chest.

His eyes were shining bright. "Of course I will Aimee." He smiled brightly too. "Yah know, when I was younger I once ate only sausages for a few months, and I swear all the weight went to my head. I refused to eat until I lost all the weight. It was forever until I finally ate something." I wanted to laugh, I could imagine a baby version of Bill running around with a giant head. Instead I only hugged him back.

This guy was great, and I'm pretty sure he knew it.

The rest of the day I felt really better, my stomach was empty and a huge weight was lifted off my chest. I just hoped my stomach returned soon, I hated being picked on, even though they were just playing around. I was sensitive. I scoffed. After the last bell of the day, we all decided to walk home since I felt up to it. Gus offered to carry me, Georg cracked a joke about him not being able to, because of my pudge.

"We should all go to that dairy place for ice cream!" Gus spoke up, he always had a sweet tooth. I groaned. Which made everyone laugh.

"I second that!" Tom said. They were the only two that agreed on going for ice cream, Bill wanted to stay with me, and Georg wasn't in the mood for sweets.

Georg sighed grumpily. "I'm so tired! And I'm stuck with you two love birds!" He made mushy sounds.

"Well sorry!" I said sarcastically. "You could have went with them ya know, instead of bothering the 'love birds.'"

"Why? You guys have anything better to do?" He said. We stared at him blankly. He laughed. "Exactly!"

We were all laughing our asses off about a funny story when we walked in the front door. About a time when Bill thought it'd be cool to do their long haired cats fur when he was little. He tried to cut it and style it, put blush on its cheeks, then proceeded to dress HIM up. And then Bill wondered why the cat had it out for him ever since. They had to leave him in Germany though. Poor little cat.

We walked in the door and Jorg was just standing there glowering at all of us, he said we were being too loud.

"Oh and Aimee?" He said to me. I just looked over at him, I was too scared to talk to him or answer him without Bill directly by my side. "I'd like to have a quick chat with you right now." I gulped and thought I was about to die right on the spot. Jorg quietly led me to his study. I gave Bill pleading eyes on the way there, but he only grew sad and shrugged.

Why did I feel so scared?

**BAM! Lol. Okay, I want your theories on what you think is going to happen and whatnot. My question to you, there will be 5, because I get bored, and I think your all answers are quite interesting :3**

**1. Where all have you traveled? {I've been to many states. Ky. Ohio. Tenn. Ind. Miss. Ala. And Louisiana :3}**

**2. Favorite band/artist [besides Tokio Hotel] {David Bowie. Shinedown. Or Cinema Bizarre}**

**3. Favorite book & worst book {Fave: Vampire Academy. Worst: So far it has to be Peeps, or Catcher in the Rye}**

**4. Thing you do when you get bored {pshh, I do weird things when I get bored!}**

**5. Your best friends name. {Albanie}**


	15. Angel Necklace

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life**

**Get into the zone AUTO ZONE O_O This chapter is short. I'm warning you guys… I'm not really in the writing mood, but ima write anyways… the next chapter will be longer and better I swear :]**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 15: Angel Necklace

*Journal*

December 2008

FUUUCKKK! It finally happened! My dad finally… raped… me. I'm having a complete breakdown right now, I, I just cant take it anymore. I'm thinking I have 3 options. Run away. Live with it. Or kill myself. I'm not sure which one, only two of those options sound great to me. The whole thing, was apparently part of my Christmas present, he was telling me how he's seen the way I look at him, and I'm provoking him. Yeah right, I try as hard as I can to avoid that man.

I don't know, it's like all of this has been a big blur, but when he did that, it was making it a reality. I feel so dirty and tainted, I've practically boiled my skin off as I showered, trying to get the feel of him off his skin. And what hurt the most is how he didn't even look like he regretted any of it. Some part of me wished he at least apologized, is that bad? I don't even know anymore. I'm going to try to take my mind off of things, so I guess I'll write about something else. Something at least a little better, to try and cheer myself up.

Rin is still acting like a royal bitch, like you have no idea how bad she'd hurt me. I was about to trust her a little bit, because I thought she could potentially be maybe a best friend? But she had to go and pull that little "I love you" stunt. She's not even that worth it. I mean she lies, wants all the attention on her, and then at the last minute she could stab you in the back. I have to keep myself as distantly possible from her. Want to hear some of her lies? Her brother died, her dad had a heart failure, her aunt and step mom are in double comas, she's pregnant with Michael's baby.

Now it's my time to disprove her. Joe, her brother is a new student here, so I see him everyday. I even cried a little when she called me freaking out! What the fuck! I saw her dad at the store, and he was like _Sup girl!_ I know her dad is a retard. With her Aunt and Step mom, yesterday she was like, _Guess what my aunt/step mom did last night?_ And, she's totally not pregnant, I've seen Michael, he's a complete nerd and wants to save it until marriage. I mean come on! If your going to lie, get your stories straight. Or how about this, don't even lie at all? Yeah I think that's good.

Now onto her brother. I've seen him around the school, talked to him a few times, and he's even in my Algebra and Physics class. He's I don't know how to word it, he dresses like a gangster, he thinks he has swag, but he really don't. I didn't even know it was her brother at first, but it is. He makes me giddy inside. Like one day I was sitting alone in the library because I was mad at Rin, and Joe walks in. And so I was getting a sick feeling in my stomach, he signed in and all the while I'm thinking, _don't come over here, don't come over here, don't come over here._

And of course he didn't obey my thoughts and made his happy way on over to my table. Me and Rin jokingly named it _Dave's Butt_ yeah long story, don't ask. So I stood up and pretended to mess around with stuff in my bag. I was nervous, it felt like something big was about to happen. He greeted me, and we randomly talked about stuff, I don't even remember now because it felt like a blur. He was like, _If you like me, you'll have to ask me out, and do it quick, because I don't stay single for long! _He is so full of himself, but like a dumb ass, I told him I liked him, and we dated, but things just got out of hand.

He tried to kiss me later that day, and I totally freaked out and pushed him away. I don't know if I'm defective or something, but that was definitely too soon to try for a first kiss. I mean either way he kept telling me he loved me, and kept getting mad when I wouldn't say it back, and I know I should be ashamed. But as soon as I told him I loved him, the next day he broke up with me. I mean, ugh he is so retarded!

I'm still feeling the effects he had on me, I mean its only natural to feel something for him, since he was my first boyfriend right? Oh well, at least the relationship didn't drag out, psh.

Hm, what else could I say to make me take my mind off of things, oh, I have all A's and 1 B, that's a first and I cant believe it. If it wasn't for stupid Mr. Cunningham I would have all A's, it's not my fault I wasn't good at typing and fixing punctuation. On the Brightside of things… hahaha there is no Brightside of things.

I haven't cut myself up until my dad raped me… I mean that seems like a good enough reason doesn't it? Either way, I've noticed a big improvement in my cutting, it's been slowing down, and I hope it'll stay that way for a while. And I've figured out I have family in another state, isn't that cool? So if I ever confess on what happens to me, I could totally move away. The only thing is, I think I'm scared of change.

Ttyl journal.

*End*

I felt myself jump when the door of the study clicked behind me, and the thing was, I heard feet shuffling around outside the door. Like Bill and Georg were eavesdropping, which I didn't doubt. I came to my senses as I remembered where I was, I pushed all the funny thoughts from my mind. There was a huge desk surrounded by huge bookcases full of many old things, if I weren't so scared I would be nosey and looking through the books. Jorg chose to stand instead of sit, which made me even more nervous. I swallowed shakily.

"Ok, now your probably wondering why you're here right," I only nodded. I think he liked those kind of answers. "What do you and Bill talk about?" He stated harshly and blankly. I stared at him dumbfounded, what did he mean?

"I don't understand." I said quietly.

"It means exactly what I asked." He said a lot louder this time, his voice was laced in venom.

"Normal stuff, you know, school, books, music…" I trailed off. What was he getting at?

He stepped closer to me, he bent down, his face was merely inches apart from mine. I stepped back quickly shocked at the close proximity, my head hit the door really hard. I gasped in pain. He shook his head and laughed at my pain. Not as in 'haha' funny, but as in he thought my clumsiness was funny. He got closer again, now that I was backed up with nowhere to go. "What does Bill tell you about me?" He asked in a husky menacing tone.

I gulped. "Uhm, he doesn't talk about you." I stated.

This only seemed to make him grow angry. "Now girl, you wouldn't be lying to me now would you?" I shook my head. "Good. Now you're father contacted me earlier, he will be home tomorrow, and has told me to tell you to go home."

"Ok." I said in a small almost inaudible voice.

"I don't care, stay no later than 12 tonight." He dismissed me. He turned and walked back to his desk, and I took that as my chance to try to make a quick exit. I flung open the door, and sure enough there stood Bill and Georg with smug expressions on their faces. Bill looked downright guilty. It wasn't his fault though, he didn't know his dad was going to give me weird creeper questions about him.

We all walked into Bill's room. "Uhmm…" I started but didn't get to finish because Georg cut me off.

"You're probably going to ask why Bill's dad is such a weirdo right?" He asked, Bill shot him a glare but he kept talking. "Well, don't worry he's that way with everyone. He's still like that with Gustav and me, and were related!" He gave a very disapproving look. Georg was the strangest boy I've ever met, and I tell him on a daily basis, but I guess he takes it as a compliment.

I ignored him and turned to Bill. "Why was your dad asking me about what we talk about?"

"What do you mean?" He said with a very guilty look on his face, he wasn't going to start acting dumb on me.

"Oh cut the crap, I know you were listening." I stuck my tongue out at him. He faintly smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Don't worry about it okay? He can be strange at moments, and this happened to be one of the weirder moments." He said to me.

"I have to leave tonight though, it's sad, I love staying here!" I faked a sad tone, I really was going to miss waking up next to Bill, he was an amazing cuddler.

"Staying here! You are such a freeloader!" Georg bellowed.

I punched him in the arm. "Am not!" We started arguing back and forth. "Well you look like girl!" I playfully yelled.

"Well you _are_ a girl!" It took me a while to stop laughing at that one. "Buuuuurrrnnnnnnn!" He screamed.

"Oh! I'm so hurt, whatever must I do now?" I laughed. I swear Georg was going to be the death of me some day, he was so funny I couldn't even breath when I was around him, because I was too busy laughing. Bill cut in then.

"Children!" He laughed at us, trying to catch his breath. "Do you guys need a time out?" He said playfully.

We pretended to act sad. "Nooo." We chimed together. Which sent us into another huge fit of laughter.

Just then Tom and Gus bounded through Bill's door without even knocking. "We heard a ruckus, what's going on!" And holy shit, the way Tom said ruckus sent me over the edge, I couldn't stop laughing. And the looks everyone gave me, made me die. "Someone's on drugs!" Tom said a little weirded out sounding. Dead puppies, dead puppies…. Okay I'm good, not laughing anymore. I'm weird.

My stomach gave a grumble, I was hungry, that wasn't good, that meant I was used to eating. I looked around, no one noticed my stomach. "Who wants to do something?" Tom yelled. I mentally groaned, I still felt horrible, and I didn't want to do anything. Grateful for Bill, he knew how I was feeling.

"Me and Aimee are just going to stay here, she still feels under the weather. She needs her rest." He said sweetly smiling down at me. I felt blush rise across my face. He was the best.

"Alright bro, see you guys later." Tom said, and dragged the boys away from me and Bill.

"I thought they were never going to leave!" He said sounding relieved. He was so cute when he pouted.

"You are so cute!" I stated out loud wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Not as cute as you!" We had to have been the weirdest couple out there, we were both standing there blushing, staring into each others eyes. He broke eye contact first though, he climbed onto the center of the bed and laid on his back. He patted his stomach. I crossed my arms and tapped my foot. He pouted. "Aw, come on Aimee!" He whined.

I rolled my eyes. "Guys." I muttered. I climbed on his bed next to him and slowly straddled his small cute little stomach. Was it weird to think everything about this boy was cute? I stared adoringly down into his eyes, he is what keeps me going. I placed my elbows on either side of his head as leaned down and kissed him. He locked his arms around my waist, not allowing me to get up. I smiled against his lips. "Your something else." I muttered between kissed. He only smiled in return.

The kisses became long and deep, he parted his mouth his sweet tongue wanting entrance. Our tongues danced with each other, there was the occasional noise of out tongue studs hitting each other. When we broke apart for air, I trailed sloppy kisses down to his neck. I sucked and pulled gently on his pretty skin with my teeth. He drove me wild with his little moans, and I think he knew it. He was so adorable! His head was leaned back in pleasure, with his mouth parted. I nibbled everywhere on his neck, gradually getting rougher. He loved it.

Pretty soon we were kissing again, I don't think we were moving too fast were we? I cleared my thoughts, I didn't want to be negative. There would be enough of negativity when He returned home. We broke apart again and we stared into each others eyes. He put my hair behind my ears. "You are so freaking beautiful Aimee." I blushed. Then flashing started to go off next to us. Our heads jerked to the left immediately at the same time.

The guys all stood there with cameras. I quickly rolled off of Bill. We were so into our make out session we didn't even hear the door open. More flashes kept going off. "Okay! Geez were not kissing! Stop!" I yelled getting really annoyed. They only laughed. "What did you guys go do anyways? You weren't gone for that long…" I trailed off.

"That long? Aimee sweetie, we were gone for a couple hours!" Gustav said. I looked over at Bill, he only shrugged. His hair was messed up from where my hands were pulling it, and his neck was all pink and if you looked close enough I'm sure you'd see bite marks. "What were you guys doing in here anyways!"

"Oh, ya know, sex, drugs, anything you name it!" I laughed at myself. Bill sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist and sat his head on my shoulder.

"You guys didn't really do it did you!" Asked Georg all out serious.

"Uh no!" Me and Bill chimed at the same time.

"Yah, because if you guys did, then I wouldn't have anything to hold over you head anymore, baby bro!" Tom cooed at his brother.

"Whatever," Muttered Bill. I kissed him on the cheek. He blushed.

"You guys are so cute together it's gross!" Georg stated. "Plus if you guys did fuck, it's way too soon! What have to guys been dating for about a week and a half?" He was always the big brother type, and at some times I loved him for it, and others it got on my nerves.

"Ok, ok! Calm the fuck down!" I said in a playful tone.

After a short and brief conversation I was still feeling like shit, it was the worst feeling I've ever had before! I decided to just start packing up anyways, I was due to leave in a few hours anyways. I only had a pair of shorts and some jeans, so my plastic bag wouldn't bust in the first place. It didn't really matter, because I conveniently locked myself out of the house, and Bill said I could wear his clothes. The gesture was super sweet, and I didn't really mind. I enjoy wearing that boy's clothes, it made me feel safe. As silly as it sounds, but its true. Being with him makes myself feel amazing and free.

Arms wrapped around my waist from behind, it was Bill, I knew his smell and touch anywhere. "I want to give you something." He whispered in my ear, sending chills up and down my spine. I shivered, I loved how that felt. I turned around giving him a questioning stare. "I have to get it for you first." He walked around me, kissing me quickly on the lips, and started rummaging around in his closet. He must have wanted to give me clothes or something. When he was done, he stepped out and produced a very pretty jacket.

It was beautiful, it was black, and had little purple stripes on the elbows. On the front it zipped up, and had a smiley face as the zipper pull. The design was simple, it had swirls on the front with little butterflies intricate into it. "Bill! It's so beautiful…" I trailed off.

"I want you to have it, I designed it!" He blushed, handing it to me.

"You designed it? I love it! I'll always wear it." I wanted him to have something from me just then too. "Hold on.." I said, I started fooling at the necklace around my neck. "Here, you should have something of mine too." I smiled sweetly at him dropping my necklace in his pretty hand.

"This is gorgeous Aimee!" He stated, examining my pretty stone necklace. It was a pretty angel, filled of Garnet and Diamonds, on a dainty little golden chain.

He held his hair away from his neck, and I gently hooked it together. "I'm glad you like it. My mom gave it to me when I was little, and I want you to keep it safe for me alright?" I kissed the side of his neck.

"Oh sweetie!" His hands flew to his mouth. "I'll take care of anything that comes from you!" He kissed me sweetly and passionately, then helped me put on the jacket he gave me. Then walked me to my house, and helped me pull out the back side window, and gave me a boost up. I shall never forget my keys again.

I laid there in Bill's jacket, smelling him calmed me down into dreamland, where everything was better.

**Ok ok, I know this is super short, but I wanted to give you guys something, because I don't know how often I can update. But ily guys :]**

**Question: What are your spring break plans? And what is the most fun thing your school has ever done? [I'm going to do absolutely nothing, and a math walk was super fun… don't look at the screen like that! I copied and goofed off swuurr lol xD]**

**Ily my wonderful Australian!**

***REVIEW***

**:D **


	16. The Stairwell

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life; Bianca Star**

**Sorry for the delay. Thank you for bearing with me :] and like I promised, extra long and suspenseful.**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 16: The Stairwell.

*Journal*

February 2009

Today is my 15th birthday, nothing really to say, my dad is going to be home any minute now and I'm trying to write as quickly as I can. He hasn't touched me since Christmas, as in raping me, and for that I am thankful, but on the other hand I know he's going to have something saved up for my birthday, it's always horrible on my birthday, I know that from experience. I love journaling, it helps take my mind off of things and its here for me to vent to when no one else will listen.

There is a new girl at school, she's just like the rest of those clones. Her name is Megan. At first she was super nice to me, then she started talking to Hanna, and things got out of hand. There's a story behind everything, and it made me cry. It made me breakdown and cry in front of everyone, I was ashamed, I hate crying in front of people, it made me feel weak.

It was time for a school pep rally, I wasn't really feeling it. Why should people have to jump around and be retards for the school? I must have been the only one who wasn't excited. Well here's the background of events. It was school spirit week, and we had to dress down each day throughout the week to show our spirit. And everyone was doing it, which only made me want to do it even less. So I didn't dress out any of those days.

I didn't know why it upset everyone, but it did. At the pep rally our classes theme was Pink, it was something for breast cancer, but I honestly didn't own anything pink. At the pep rally it was crowded and there was cheering going on everywhere. I sat off to the side against the wall, at the bottom of the bleachers, easy access to get away when the bell rang. Let's just say, I was seriously the only one not wearing pink. I was wearing my usual black on black clothes.

I was sitting alone, and the lights were flashing. The cheerleaders were bouncing around in all their cheerleader glory, in their overly short skirts. I loved seeing them do flips and stuff, it was pretty cool to say the least. But after that day, I never liked cheerleaders again. Pretty soon whatever the band was playing was starting to get really intense, as were the lights flashing, and when the drums stopped the lights pitched out. Everyone was screaming and cheering. I felt arms grab tightly around me then.

I screamed and protested, but as soon as I was put down the lights flashed back on. I was standing in the middle of the gym. Everyone was screaming, and then it went silent, they were waiting for something to happen. Megan and Hanna took this big bucket of watered down marshmallow fluff and dumped it all over me. Of course I was outraged, but in a school like that, I didn't have the advantage. They taunted me right there.

_Is Emo girl going to cry? Are you going to go home and cut yourself!_ My eyes were spilling over, I was crying silent tears. _What the fuck, are you crying? _After the revelation that I was crying I took off, and ran out of the gym. Everything was silent, even when I walked away… and the next day when I came back no one even talked about it.

Don't they see how bad this is effecting me? I'm withdrawn from everyone, I'm clearly depressed, and I have no motivation to make friends. The marshmallow refused to wash out of my hair, and I had to keep soaking it and brushing it. My dad even took pity on me and took me to go get a haircut, then he bought me new clothes. That has to have been the nicest thing he's done for me recently. It scared me a bit, but it was his generosity coming out I guess.

He's just pulled up in the driveway, I have to go. And for the record, I didn't go home and cut myself, I didn't want them to have satisfaction. Bye journal…

*End*

I couldn't find Bill that morning, I was rushing around that no good school in a rush. I wanted my boyfriend. I got all giddy inside, it felt amazing to call him that. I needed cheering up, my dad came home last night drunk, he didn't lay a hand on me, he only locked me outside, which wasn't that bad. I still had Bill's jacket on, and I was never going to take it off, this boy meant too much to me. I didn't want to see His expression when he saw all the weight I've gained. I tried not to dwell on it.

I focused my attention on trying to find Bill, or the rest of the guys. I had to know I wasn't going to be alone today, I hated being alone. I was so grateful for my friends, I cant believe I lived without them. I decided I would just walk to the coke machine on the third floor, I was going to only drink water today. Hopefully I would walk past them. I rolled my eyes as people howled and whistled at me as I walked past them. I hate their sarcasm, but I did love the props I got for beating up Hanna. They kept saying her beating was well overdue. I couldn't agree more.

By the time I was sitting in German class Bill and the rest of the gang hadn't shown up yet, I was getting pretty sad. I just sat there most of the class with my hand on my cheek, being as bored as ever. I was trying to learn German for them, but I didn't really see that happening anytime soon, because it was just too much to pay attention to. I rolled my eyes, I know I'm a whimp.

"Hey boo face, why so sad?" Rin asked me. She sounded like she cared, but I knew better than that, she never cared in the past, so why would she start caring now?

I just shrugged. She couldn't take a hint.

"You miss your lover?" She said casually.

"Bill? He's not my lover, just ya know, my boyfriend." I blushed.

"You are so cute!" She stated. "We need to hang out!" I hated when people did that. They asked you to hang out, and then it gets awkward because nothing happens after that. Then she didn't even let me reply, she just kept talking. "I haven't hung out with you since what? Freshman year? It's been too long. Can I come over?" She sounded like she really wanted to.

"You know my dad doesn't like company." I said back to her. "He don't really like me having a life."

"What does he do keep you chained up in the closet or something!" She laughed. She had no idea.

I just shook my head, and tried to grin, but it probably came out as a grimace. "You're something else."

"So you should come over this weekend." She said.

"We'll see." I said. "I'll have to ask my dad first though." That would be my excuse, I wasn't really going to ask him though. I didn't feel like being beat, or lectured about how much of a lesbian I was.

"Sounds good to me." She smiled and messed with her hair. "I'm so proud of you!" She beamed.

"Uh, why's that?" I asked honestly confused.

"I remember seeing you freshman year, you were so tiny, and you kept getting smaller, I was really worried for you. Now look at you!"

I probably gave her a dirty look. "What's wrong with me now!" I sounded scared.

She laughed. "You're getting so chubby honey, it's quite a sexy look on you." She winked.

I shook my head furiously. "I'm on a diet right now."

She looked at me like I was insane. "Since when!"

"Since this morning." I didn't want to talk about this, but she seemed to be so determined to figure out something new about me.

"Chick! You're like a fucking stick, you don't need to diet."

I shrugged, snapping my mouth shut, I didn't need this right now. I needed Bill. I sighed, I guess he wasn't going to be at school today. I grunted, I was such a moron. I forgot I had my phone with me. I decided to text him, but he didn't text back. Okay then, something was definitely up.

Pretty soon it was time for next period, and I flew down the halls in search for my familiar faces. I was already on the verge of tears, people kept telling me I was getting chubby, and I didn't like it at all. I just needed Bill. I practically sprinted into the art room, but to my dismay I slipped on the slick linoleum. Always the clumsy one. Mr. R rushed towards me and caught me by sleeve. He ripped my whole right sleeve off, now I was looking like an idiot. I was sleeveless and on my ass. He reached down for my hand and pulled me up.

He handed me my sleeve. "I'm sorry about that." He seemed truly sorry. "I forgot to say, the ceramics class made a huge mess and it's a bit dusty around the door." He smiled lamely.

I shook my head. "It could have been worse. Thanks for at least trying to help me." I smiled back.

I headed over to my corner and was met with the gaze of Tom and Georg. My heart sped up, did that mean Bill was here too? "Before you bombard us with questions, yes, Bill's here." Georg said. They both looked sad, like they were losing something.

I sat down on my stool in between them. "What's wrong?" I asked to whoever wanted to answer.

"Bill isn't doing too great." Georg said lowly.

"What do you mean?" I whispered back.

"Tom and him got into this huge fight last night, it's a long story, he'll have to show you whenever we go down to lunch."

Tom cut in. "Just don't over react alright?"

"Why the hell would I overreact? Obviously its bad." I did sound like I was over reacting a bit. I calmed down. I sighed and covered my face with my sleeved arm.

"What happened to your sleeve?" Georg asked. He was looking down at my arms, I knew he saw my cuts and scars, because he sharply inhaled and clenched his jaw. He didn't say anything though, and I was grateful.

"I tripped coming in, and Mr. R tried to catch me, but he ended up ripping off my sleeve instead. I mean it could have been a lot worse, I'm so fucking clumsy."

"Sounds kind of kinky if you ask me." Chimed in Tom.

I laughed at him. "And that's exactly why I didn't ask you." I stuck my tongue out at him.

The rest of the class until lunch was pretty awkward, Georg tried to lighten it up with his humor, but it didn't really work. I was busy thinking about what happened to Bill, and somehow Tom was the cause. I knew I could never hate Tom, but they made it out to be really bad. I couldn't stop thinking about it. And no matter what I did, I couldn't get the thoughts of it out of my head.

The bell rang and I was grateful. Georg and Tom didn't wait for Bill, and that made my interest level peak. "Why aren't you all meeting up with Bill like usual?" I asked with curiosity in my voice.

"He needs space right now, so he said he was going to head on down to lunch." Georg said.

"Oh."

The lunchroom was packed, and there was hushed whispers about what happened to Bill. I blocked them out, I wanted to hear it from Bill himself. We finally closed in on our table, Bill had his head down on his arms. While the rest of the boys went to grab some lunch I silently sat down next to him. I sat sideways in my seat and faced him, I put my elbow on the table and just trailed my fingers lightly up and down his back in a calming gesture.

I could feel him tense up under my touch, but other than that he didn't raise his head. I sighed. What was wrong with him? I quietly toyed with his hair, smoothing it out and around. "What's wrong sweetie?" I asked sweetly in his ear. I felt him shudder at my voice, in a good way. He dug his face deeper into his hooded arms, shaking his head. I guess he didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't going to press him about it, I've had those days where I didn't feel like talking. I refused to leave his side though. I continued tracing comforting gestures on his back.

I could tell he liked it, from the way he would sigh contently every couple of minutes. I saw Tom hesitate at the lunch line for a while, I gave him a death glare jerking my head to the table, telling him to hurry up. He motioned with his lips that he was waiting for everyone else. I gave a frustrated sigh and turned around.

"I'm sorry…" Bill mumbled in his arms. The sadness in his voice took me aback, why was he apologizing?

"You have nothing to apologize for honey." I whispered to him sweetly. "If you don't feel like telling me what's wrong you don't have to. I have those days all the time." I kissed the side of his head.

"It's not that, it's just…" He raised his head and faced me. I gasped. He had a rough looking bruise right under his eye. I moved my hand gently towards him, to cup his face in my hand gently. "Don't push too hard, it hurts a lot."

"Don't worry, I wont hurt you." I smiled sadly up at him. "How'd it happen?"

He exhaled shakily. "Me and Tom got into it last night." He seemed worried and unsure.

Speak of the devil, Tom and the rest of the gang sat down then. I shot nasty daggers at Tom, but he kept averting his gaze from me. "Why the fuck did you hit him Tom?" I asked. I didn't like people hurting my boyfriend, brother or not.

Bill calmly put his hand on my shoulder. "It's nothing serious, calm down please?" He pleaded with me. I guess I was being too protective.

Tom just ducked his head. "It was an accident, honest."

"That really don't look like an accident to me. You could have hit him in the eye! What were you thinking!" I was pissed at him.

"It's not like he didn't start it, so don't go pointing your finger at me!" Tom spat back.

"Well did he start it!" I asked calmly.

"No but…"

"Tom just leave it alone, what's in the past is in the past alright?" Bill pleaded with him. I mean they were brothers they were going to make up some time. He turned to me next. He sighed deeply, thinking things over in his head. "I'm fine alright? We got in a stupid argument, it wont happen again."

I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but I just faintly nodded anyways. Something felt off about it though.

XxX

"Want to hang out after school?" Bill asked me, as he kissed me sweetly. I moved his hair off of his neck and blushed. He had hickeys everywhere, I took pride in that, it meant he was mine. He noticed me looking. "You could add more to the collection?"

I shook my head and laughed. "I cant today, my dad's going to be home and I'll probably have housework to do." As in him bitching at me. I rolled my eyes.

He nudged my cheek with my nose. "We should skip out on last period."

I smiled. "Sure." It was so tempting to go anywhere with him, and its not like Mrs. Brangers cared, I was her top student, she'd probably let us slide anyways.

"Really?" His eyes lit up excitedly. I nodded. "Where are we going to go?"

"Well, we cant get out of the school without the patrol cop getting us, but I know a safe place where no one will find us." I smiled against his lips. "It's nothing special though."

"It don't matter, wherever you go, I'll go." He was such a sweetheart. I kissed his bruised cheek lightly. He sighed contently. "You Mr. Kaulitz are one amazing person."

He rolled his eyes at me. "You Ms. Karoline are even more of an amazing person." He stuck his tongue out at me.

We waited in the halls until the bell rang to go to last period, after the bell I led him to a secluded staircase at the back of the school. No one came down here, and there was no cameras. The doors that blocked off the stairs from everything else even locked and didn't have windows, and no one asked questions. It was pretty cool, we had a section of the staircase all to ourselves and no one would get nosey. There was a tiny slit of a window so that you could see outside. I cracked it open.

"How did you find out about this? It's like the only stairwell with no camera." He smiled.

"I found out about it my freshman year, skipping by myself. Its super great to go to. And the doors lock so no one can bother you." I laughed. "But lets get everything straight, why did you want to skip?"

He had me pinned up against the wall in seconds. He kissed me roughly but I wasn't complaining. "I wanted to make out with my girlfriend, and hang out with you." I shuddered.

"I love hearing that you know…" I trailed off, too caught up in the kiss.

"Hearing what?" He smiled against my lips.

"You calling my your girlfriend."

"I'm glad." He laughed, looking down at me. His eyes were hooded in lust.

"You know what you should do?" I asked seductively.

"What's that honey?"

"Turn around and hold up your arms." He did as I said. I pressed my body up against the back of his and slowly took off his shirt, he had to help me since he was so tall. I presses soft kisses all over his beautiful back. He turned around and I openly gaped at his flawless everything. "Lay down." I said.

"Demanding little thing aren't you?" He complied though. He put his butt in the middle of the stairs and leaned back on them until he was laying, he put his shirt under his head as a pillow. "Ya know, your pretty damn sexy when you take control." I rolled my eyes, he was such a guy. Nothing was going to happen, just some heavy making out probably. I smiled at that thought.

I climbed on top of him and sat on his lap. God, he was beautiful. I leaned in and attacked his neck, it was my favorite place to kiss him, I loved the way it made him moan. "You're fucking beautiful." I said in between kisses. I kissed up to his lips and wrapped my hands in his hair, pulling roughly. I felt his little friend grow and a hiss escaped his mouth. We were both new to the feelings we were having. It wasn't too bad to experiment around a little. I wasn't going to have sex with him though.

I playfully grinded on him, he broke our kiss to lean his head back. "Do you like that?" I asked all innocent. He was holding his breath, all he did was nod. I continued to grind on him, and he was loving it.

"Nghh…" He stopped me with his hands on my hips. "This is killing me." He seemed like he was in distress.

"What do you mean?" I asked, a little out of breath.

"Too much friction… I cant explain it."

I blushed. "Sorry sweetie." I said as I planted a kiss on his mouth.

He moved to where he was nibbling on my neck, he was biting hard and rough, I winced, but it felt good. I don't know. "I'm marking you good. You're forever mine." He smiled while adding the last hard bite to my tender neck. I didn't have a problem with that. I don't know what I ever did before he ever stepped in my life. "You know what I'm going to do next time?" He asked in a voice full of lust.

"What?"

"I'm going to rub _you_ and make _you_ moan. It's your turn." He said seductively.

Chills ran up and down my spine. "Sounds so fucking good to me." I was feeling things I've never felt towards anyone, there was a fire in the pit of my stomach.

He smiled as the bell rang.

XxX

I wish things could have stayed that way, nice and sweet, nothing ever happened that way though. I returned home and my father was there. I sighed, the Bill high I just had wore off fast. I walked in to meet my tormentor. "You goddamn slut!" He yelled at me. I stopped in my tracks and faced towards Him, I waited for him to continue. "Jorg told me what happened between you and his son." He tsked at me. "Is it true? Are you guys dating?" I nodded. My face was met with a hard smack. "Did you guys fuck?"

"No." I stated.

"Good, because you are mine, got that?" I nodded. "Jorg also said his son has hickeys covering his neck, were those from you?" I nodded again, I don't think I could trust my voice right now. "How come you don't fucking treat me like that?" He spat at me. He is a sick fuck. "Not like it matters, I'm going to treat you a lesson right now anyways." He laughed sinisterly.

He led me to my room and used me again. I hated the feeling of no privacy, sex was supposed to be with the one you loved, and not by force. I hated this man I knew as my dad. After he used me he smacked me around for a little, and beat me. I didn't shed a single tear for him, I was too wore out from the day. It felt like it didn't phase me, but I knew when I woke up it would. All I knew was that I had to get out of here, and I was hoping to do that soon. I just had to tell Bill first, I just didn't know how…

**REVIEW? :] I know its been a while, buuuuttttt I've started a new story and I've been busy with CAT's testing…. The new story is called Escape to the Stars, feel free to check it out… it's a whole lot happier than this somewhat.**

**Creeper question time! What are you doing right now? Listening to anything? Craving any food? Need to do something? [im currently sitting on my bed, listening to music aka cinema bizarre- forever or never, I'm craving a spicy chicken sandwich O_O [ima vegetarian, im that hungry xD] and I need to shower and pee :D] lol**


	17. Damn

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life; Bianca Star**

**I hate the rain O_O I mean its amazing and all, until every time you wake up its storming and you have a tornado warning. Would it kill to be sunny every once in a while? Anyways, I don't know how often I can update now, depends if my power and internet is on or off. :3**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 17: Damn.

*Journal*

April 2009

I got into a fight today. Dad wasn't pleased at all. I fought Megan, and for what its worth I totally kicked her ass. At first my dad was proud of me, and he wanted to celebrate, then he realized I wasn't as weak as I was letting on. So now I'm not allowed to eat, I can only have a few sips of water throughout the day. But I'm not complaining, I am getting fat. In the past couple of months I've gained almost 10 pounds, and dad was NOT happy about that, not one bit.

I know in reality I'm not fat, there's no possible way, but in my mind in huge. When I look in the mirror I don't see a size 0, I see something gross and disgusting. Blame my dad, he's the one who planted these ideas in my head, he don't like me weighing over 120, and sadly I'm almost 130. After everything that I've been through I don't even know what a healthy weight is. I'm ashamed.

Back to the fight, it's not the first one I've been in, but it's the first one that's made me feel that great. I guess when I hit her I felt a rush of all the built up pressure explode and I couldn't stop. Either way I won and I'm so ecstatic, I'm still reeling off of it. It happened a few days ago, I don't know, I'm locked away at the moment. I mean why do I have to be locked away? I have nowhere to go, nowhere to run.

I walked into gym class fearing for the worst, today was the mile run and all that shit. I was too weak to do anything for the fitness day, so I guess you could say I was looking for an excuse to not participate. And Megan was the one who gave me what I wished, I mean she had different intensions though. She hit me in the back of the head with a basketball. _What the fuck? _I yelled at her. And for an instant her eyes held fear. I mean the Emo kid bites back. Roar.

She got all cocky then, having all her cheerleaders to back her up. Here's how it went:

_You are not talking to me! _She wailed in a stupid ass whiney voice.

_Who else am I fucking talking to you dumb ass! _I shot back.

_What are you going to do about it you filthy mental case? _That was her comeback.

_The only reason you're so tough is because you have the slut squad to back you up! _Slut squad was what me and Rin called them, they weren't even pretty, their only on the cheer team because their precious daddies owned big companies.

_You would know about being a slut, now wouldn't you? _She said, getting closer to me, like she was intimidating, but she really wasn't, she reminded me of a scared puppy.

_What are you tough? You think you can fight?_

_I cant fight. I'll admit that. But I'm tough enough to break your skinny ass in half. _And that was the last thing she said until she lunged at me. The fight was fucking priceless, she was the type of girl who liked to pull hair when they fought. That didn't hurt me at all, I've been through complete worse. I know I sprained her wrist and gave her a bloody nose, that's what my dad told me after he talked to the school. It felt good to let loose on someone finally.

Anyways, my punishment was no food, and apparently no daylight, I've been in this closet forever! When I wake up I'll have a half bottle of water sitting there waiting for me by my feet. At least I have water, he said next time I show behavior like that, punishment will be a billion times worse.

Bye journal. :/

*End*

Rattling woke me up in my uncomfortable slumber. I was jammed in the closet again, and it sounded like He was messing with the chains. I positioned a random shirt on my naked chest, I wish it helped me, but it didn't. The lights were piercing and made my head hurt. I felt all my bodily injuries come alive as soon as I made eye contact with Him. My face didn't hurt too bad, but everything from my neck down burned with a passion.

"What did I tell you bitch?" I winced at his harsh voice. He pulled me out of the dark by my hair. "What don't you comprehend!" He stopped his rant and his eyes turned into slits as he zeroes in on my neck. Panic shot through me. All that resulted was in a quick punch to the face. My vision blurred. He continued on his rant, I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Why did you fucking do that? What did I tell you about visitors?"

I chanced myself. "What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"Someone is here, and it's not Simone's family. Care to explain? And their here for you." He waited in a eerily silent. I only shrugged and looked down. He gripped my face and forced me to look up at him. "Get fucking dressed, since you're going to have to deal with whatever her problem is, I'm going out." He waved me away. "Be quick, I'll tell her you're on your way." He slammed my door shut.

I openly gaped now. What the hell was that about? I thought I was going to be in way more trouble than a punch in the face. I wonder who could be outside. I sauntered over to my mirror to take in the damages. My body was of course horrible, I had ugly bruises covering almost every inch of my skin. I pushed my hair off my neck and gasped. Damn, Bill had a huge fucking mouth. The right side of my neck was littered in huge hickeys.

My cheek was already forming a huge bruise from where He punched me. I smoothed some makeup over it, covering it. I tossed on a bra and a tank covering myself with Bill's jacket. I put on black cargo shorts and that's all I worried about at the moment. I rushed outside. What the fuck?

Rin stood there practically in tears, I wobbled, a little dizzy from standing. "Oh Aimee!" She wailed. Wrapping her arms around me and pulling me down the stairs into her arms. I gasped in pain, but I don't think she heard, she was too busy crying her eyes out. I looked over her shoulder to seeing Tom, Georg and Gustav playing football in their front yard, Bill was sitting on the porch, looking really bored. His eyes wandered over to me and Rin and when he saw me they lit up.

I averted my attention back to Rin. "What's wrong?" I thought again. "How did you figure out where I live?"

"It don't matter!" She sobbed.

"What doesn't matter?" I said patting her back.

"Nothing matters!" She practically yelled, clinging even harder to my tiny battered frame. I was in pain. I tensed up and patted her back, maybe if I comforted her, she'd let up faster?

"If you don't tell me what's wrong I wont be able to help you, and I want to help." I said hopefully. I didn't like her, but no one deserved to be that torn up over something. Damn myself and being a caring person.

"Taylor!" She cried into my shoulder.

I was getting pretty impatient, but all she wanted was comfort, and I would try to give her that. "What did he do?" I sighed.

She released me. "Sorry." She wiped her eyes. "I shouldn't have came." She started to walk off. I chased after her and stopped her at the end of my driveway. I entwined our fingers together and led her back to my porch.

"Please talk to me." I smoothed her bangs back and wiped her tears away with my thumbs.

"Taylor cheated on me…" She trailed off speaking in a sad monotone. "With Debra nonetheless!"

I gasped. "Debra! But she's…"

"A whore." She finished for me. "I mean, what's so wrong with me?" She asked crying again.

"Nothing's wrong with you, you're fine the way you are, you've let him change you too long, and in the end he does this to you." I never liked him. He was too much of a flirt. "Did you all break up?"

Her cheeks flushed. "No, I cant, I love him."

"You have to!" I told her.

This seemed to outrage her. "Why the fuck should I listen to you?" She yelled, pushing my shoulder. I held back the pain that followed.

"Ok. For one, you came to _me._ And second I wont hit you back because you're in an emotional state." I said back surprisingly calm.

"I cant break up with him."

"Why the hell not?"

"I love him." She simply stated crying all over again.

I sighed. "Sometimes you're going to have to overcome those feelings and listen to your heart and not your head." I looked at her. "What is your heart saying?"

"It's saying that I need to move on… but I cant!"

"Breakups are tough, everyone knows that, but you're going to have to face the facts sometime. If he cheated once, whose to say he's not going to keep doing it?" She was about to speak, but I cut her off. "Just think about it alright? You can do so much better."

"The sad part is, I don't think I can!" She wailed.

God. "Look at yourself, you're beautiful, who wouldn't want you?" I had to be the supporter friend. No matter how much I didn't trust her, I was always there for her, I was a good friend if I don't say so myself.

"If I was beautiful Taylor would still be with me!" She screeched.

"Calm the fuck down!" I yelled back. She got quiet. Good. "Now, you've broken up with someone before that you loved?" She sniffled and nodded. "What's so different this time?"

"This is true love." She said harshly. "Which you would know absolutely nothing about!"

"Ok, you may be fucked up right now, but you have no right to say shit about me. I'm trying to help you." I said in a sickly calm voice, and it scared even me.

"Well you aren't helping at all."

"Just because I'm not saying what you want to hear don't mean I'm not helping. You just need to fucking break up with him."

"I'm not going to." She said in a sad voice. My dad pulled up in the driveway, and I tried not to look panicked.

"You should go, he wasn't too happy about your abrupt visit."

She shrugged. "It's whatever." She got up waved at my dad and got on her little pink bike, and trekked off. Nothing was resolved here, what the hell? The only thing productive she did was probably get me in trouble with Him. I sighed and stood up when He approached.

Lucky me, he came back from the store with 2 cases of beer. "We're inviting the Kaulitz family over tonight, so I'm getting prepared. You have to go to the store. Simone has a list." He dug his hands roughly in my arm, forcing me not to move. "If I ever see her over here again, without my permission, you'll have hell to pay, got it?" He whispered harshly in my ear.

I nodded. "Good." He repeated. He stared at me like I was dumb. "Well go get the list you fucker. Be back no later than 5, everything starts at 6." I nodded and turned to their house.

Everyone was still playing football and Bill had a worried expression on his face. He was amazing. "Hey." He greeted me with a slow sweet kiss.

"Hello amazing." I said.

Georg bounded over to me. "Don't I get anything sugar?" He puckered up his lips and came toward me.

I laughed and pushed him away. "No!" I positioned myself in Bill's lap and slung my arms around his neck. "Want to go to the store with me?" I asked.

He nodded. "I was waiting for you to come over, but then Rin showed up. Is she okay? I heard you guys arguing." He was concerned.

"Yeah, she'll be alright, her and Taylor are fighting again."

He rolled his perfect lined eyes, the bruise was still there, but he was still gorgeous. "Fighting again?"

"Yup! He cheated on her with Debra!"

His eyes bulged. "Again?"

"Again!"

He laughed nervously. "I saw Tay and Deb kissing at the park the other day."

I rolled my eyes. "Ready? You got the list?" He handed me a piece of paper.

_Margarita mix_

_Noodles_

_Pizza Sauce_

_Carrots_

"What the fuck kind of list is this?" There was a lot more, but none of it made any sense to me.

Bill kissed me on my cheek. "Language." I stuck my tongue out at him and he captured it in his mouth. He tasted amazing.

"Are you guys using tongue?" Georg asked. We broke apart.

"You might rival Tom at being the perviest guy in the world." I laughed at him.

Tom threw in. "Honey, no one can beat me."

"We got to get going!" I said awkwardly.

Me and Bill walked hand in hand to the store. Tonight should be really interesting considering neither of us knew anything about this get together until today.

XxX

All the food was for Simone, she was the best cook ever so we all decided to let her do the cooking for tonight. I was stuck cleaning the kitchen and the rest of the house. Apparently the get together was going to be held downstairs, but I refused to go down there alone, I didn't need any flashbacks. Not today. I wanted to be a little bit presentable for tonight, I hated looking too broken. And that would make me go insane.

He was in his room dressing himself and doing whatever he does before one of these things. I wasn't going to dress up too fancy. I was still wearing what I had on earlier, except the jacket sleeves were pushed up to my elbows so nothing would get on it. I smiled happily, even when my life is hell, I can always count on Bill to make me smile. I caught myself and took my smile away, if He ever realized I was smiling, I would never see the end of it.

I checked my phone and it was almost 6, I sat myself down and the kitchen table to take a break. Surely He wouldn't mind, on second thought, I knew he would mind. I took my sore self into my room and threw myself on the bed. I got a text. Guess who?

**B: Hey beautiful :3**

**A: Hey gorgeous, what's up?**

**B: We'll be there in about 5 minutes or so **

**A: Is everyone coming?**

**B: Nein, Gus and Georg aren't coming, they want to go out on the town**

**A: Harsh, breaking out the German on me :/ lol and its all cool.**

**B: What do you want to do when we get there? ;)**

**A: :P My dad isn't going to let us stay alone together, just letting you know**

**B: Awhh D:**

**A: What were you planning?**

**B: Lol, just think about it.**

**A: Horny little boy xD**

**B: Annnddd? **

**A: Nothing at all lol… Get your sexy ass over here!**

**B: I could totally see you pouting**

**A: Well hurry I miss you**

**B: On our way, see you in like 30 seconds**

**A: Kay :3**

Simone brought some delicious smelling food, but He wasn't letting me eat, I had to pretend I was having stomach problems. He saw that I was gaining weight, and instantly cut off my supply to anything, but air. It was tough not eating her food, but it was going to have to do. The food was placed on the kitchen table, and everyone grabbed a plate and dug in. Jorg and Him went downstairs to play pool, they were into wagering stuff. I could never play, I sucked at it, I lacked practice.

"You sure you aren't hungry dear?: Asked Simone's sweet voice.

"I'm sure, my stomach hurts really bad." I said in an innocent voice. I hoped she would believe me.

She nodded greatly. "And of course there will be leftovers for tomorrow, if not for a few days, you can eat then?"

"I definitely will!" I said with a little enthusiasm.

"Okay you guys! I'm going to head downstairs with the guys. Someone's got to keep them under control." She kissed us each on our cheeks before she filed down the stairs. Where my moms body once laid…

I shook my head of those thoughts, I didn't want to think of that right now, not while I'm in the company of Bill and Tom. My best friends. "What do you guys say we should do?" Asked Tom. "I'm bored."

I laughed. "Sorry I'm such a boring person! I don't really have anything to do." I said sadly.

"I know a few things we could do!" He wagged his eyebrows at me.

"You're such a creeper."

"But I'm a hot creeper!" He smiled.

"Nah, your brothers a hot creeper!" I leaned into Bill.

"I'm not a creeper." He smiled in my hair and I leaned my head back on his shoulder.

"Holy fuck!" Tom yelled. "Look at your neck!" Bill looked at it and blushed, a simple reminder from yesterday in the stairwell. "Bro you have a huge mouth."

"Like you've never had hickeys before!" I said in defense.

"Yeah well…"

"Gottcha there didn't I?" I said cunningly.

"Well you both are virgins!" He sang back.

I felt blush rise in my cheeks, technically I wasn't a virgin, but I wasn't going to say anything. "Ooo I'm so offended!" I said sarcastically.

"When are you guys going to fuck anyways? I'm waiting for it, any day now perhaps."

"Dude you're so rude!" Bill scolded.

"But you didn't answer me!"

"We don't have to answer anything." I said defiantly. I was blushing bad already, he was such a pervert. I rolled my eyes.

"Kids!" Simone yelled from the basement. "Come on down here!"

Tom bounded down the stairs. "He never ceases to amaze me." I said to Bill. He gave me a long wet kiss before we both got up. I was terrified to go downstairs, so I let Bill go first and I followed behind holding on to the back of his shirt. I would try my hardest not to think about it.

"Aimee!" My dad yelled. He was already plastered. I feared for what he was going to do while people was here. "Run upstairs and get me a beer." He tripped over his two feet holding on to the pool table for support. He didn't need it. "Well?" He said angrily when I didn't move.

"You don't need another beer." I said quietly to him.

"What the fuck was that?" He demanded. When I shrank away from him and didn't answer him he came towards me. He smacked me in my face. I faintly saw Bill and Simone gasp and their hands fly up to their mouths, Tom had a shocked look on his face, and Jorg looked like I deserved it.

Damn…

**A convo me and my bro had.**

**Him: Bill's face looks gay.**

**Me: Well you're face looks gay.**

**REVIEW :D**

***No time for stalker questions today D':**


	18. Louisville Slugger

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life; Bianca Star, malec 4 eva**

**-Thank you guys for putting up with my slow updates! It's been a while, which is why the shit is about to hit tha mutha-flucken fan :] No journal today, because I want to get on with the story, it's been forever since I've reviewed D: And I'm prolly going to just have Aimee call her dad, dad. Since I've has a lot of confusion when I call her dad Him. :3**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 18: Louisville Slugger

"What the fuck bitch, do as I say!" He yelled at me, and when I just stood there unmoving his arm reached out and grabbed a hold of my hair. He yanked on it violently and threw my tiny body towards the stairs. "Go!" He spat at me.

I clumsily climbed to my feet, chancing a look at Bill. Simone's hand was placed over his chest, as if telling him to back off. I hated worrying people who actually cared about me. I shamefully and slowly walked up the stairs from the basement. I didn't want Bill to figure out I was being abused this way. He didn't need to witness it firsthand like that. Tears were welling up in my eyes, but I wasn't going to cry for him tonight. I was going to have to face my demons head on soon enough.

Fuck it. I grabbed the whole case of beer and just dragged it down the stairs, I wasn't going to keep running up and down the stairs for an ungrateful man such as himself. I sat on the last step as he cracked open a beer tossing one to Jorg, they carried on like nothing was wrong. I leaned my weak body against the wall, Bill quietly rushed himself over to me and sat down wrapping his safe arms around my body.

I sat there enjoying his scent and feel of safeness, this boy was saving my life whenever he came into contact with me. We didn't say anything, he just held me, and that made my heart swell. I knew all too well that I would be explaining a lot later, and I knew now that I wouldn't mind. It was going to feel fucking great to get everything off my chest. I trusted Bill with my life that I knew.

"How about this?" My loving father announced, shivers ran up my spine. He was up to no good, I knew it. "Me and Jorg were betting on who could play pool better, and my dumb ass lost. Do you want to know what his request was?" The room fell sickly quiet. Simone was holding Tom in the corner of the room, he looked a mess. I didn't blame him, I bet we all looked awful and scared.

He turned to me. "Aimee, would you like to take a guess?" I shook my head slowly. I didn't want to get roped into his games tonight. "Well tough shit you fucking whore, because it has to do with you." I felt my face pale and Bill wrapped his arms tighter around me. When I didn't answer he only continued on. "You'll find out soon enough, so it don't matter." He smiled that stupid smart-alec smile at me.

"Stand up sweetie." He fake acted. I tried to get up but Bill's arms only held me tighter.

I whispered to him. "It'll only be worse for you if you don't let me up. I don't want you to get hurt." His face looked sad, and he wasn't budging. I sighed and pried himself off me. I stood where He wanted me to, which happened to be in the center of the room, where everyone would be able to see the scene unfolding in front of their eyes. I shuddered.

"What are your plans for her Jorg?" My dad laughed towards the man I soon found out wasn't good at all.

He laughed a dark scary laugh. "I'm going to take her into that closet over there," He jabbed his finger towards our basement closet. "And I'm going to give her the scare of her lifetime, she'll regret ever being born." He paused for a second. "Oh wait. Let me rephrase that! I know your story Aimee, you aren't the happy child you make everyone believe huh?"

I silently looked at my feet. He walked up to me and roughly jerked my face towards Bill's, panic appeared on his flawless face. "You lied to him." He then jerked my face towards Tom's, he looked like he was about to faint. "You lied to them all." I didn't technically lie, I just didn't want them to know, I didn't want them to see me differently. "You aren't a happy child are you?" I didn't answer him. He only laughed.

My dad stepped in. "Are you going to fuck her or what? Humiliating her in front of your boys isn't really fun." Anger flashed on Bill's face, but I think he was too scared to do something about it. I didn't blame him, and I wasn't going to hold him against it. I was pretty scared myself.

"Oh," Jorg started slow and deep. "I'm going to do way more than fuck her. I'm going to fuck up her world." Was he fucking psycho? I was more scared of Jorg than I was of my dad, and that's saying something. He ran his hand through my hair, and it gave me chills. He smiled at that. "You like it don't you?" I shook my head. "Well when I do, you'll know your place." He yanked on my arm leading me toward the closet.

"No!" I heard Bill cry. "Don't hurt her please!" I silently hoped Jorg would listen to Bill.

Jorg slammed me into the ground and the wind was knocked out of me, I was gasping for air. He turned to face Bill angrily. "Who the fuck do you think you are you little faggot?"

"Don't hurt Aimee, I'd rather you hurt me! I don't care, just please leave her alone!" Tears were pooling over in his eyes, and just seeing him cry made me tear up. I didn't want Bill to get hurt, he was a good soul, he didn't deserve it.

"How about this? If you step out of line one more fucking time I'll show her how much of an ungrateful little ass you are? You'd like that wouldn't you?" He spat at Bill. I would give Jorg a piece of my mind if I wasn't so worn down.

"You take away everything I love!" He yelled in Jorg's face. Did Bill just say he loved me? My heart swelled.

"Shut the fuck up!" Jorg yelled back. "Don't you ever raise your voice at me again or I'll give you another black eye!" Another black eye? I thought Tom hit him? "Dennis?" Jorg bellowed.

My dad came up to his side like a little puppy dog, it was sickening. "Yeah?"

"How about I give your daughter a lesson, and you give this sick excuse for a boy a lesson? God knows they both need to be taught a few things." Jorg said happily.

My eyes grew huge, and I wished nothing more than to help Bill, but I could barely stand. I was just laying helplessly on the cold hard floor, my vision was blurring, and I felt hopelessly weak. Maybe I should just pass out? That might be the best thing to do right about now. Except I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried.

He happily complied. "Where should we teach them at? The same closet sounds nice."

Jorg smirked. "I love the way you think bud." He laughed. I was getting pretty tired of all this fucking laughing going on. He turned to Simone. "Get Tom out of here, and you know the drill, call the cops and you all fucking die got it?"

Simone nodded her head quickly, took hold of poor Tom's wrist and headed up the steps. She wasn't going to fight to save Bill? That made me feel sick to my stomach, my mom would have tried to save me. I cant believe she was still in an abusive relationship! Why didn't she tell me? I could have related to her more! I wouldn't have felt alone. As she said, it was Bill's problem, and he should tell me. I felt dumb, it all clicked.

She wanted me to tell Bill I was being abused because he could relate to me, he would have understood. I felt dumb and unwanted, I should have told him sooner, maybe then we wouldn't have been in this situation. I don't even know. I quit thinking when Jorg sauntered back over to me. I held my breath.

"Are you a slut?" He asked me wondering. He didn't give me enough time to answer. "Because after tonight you will be. You will have fucked two older guys. I have to give you props!" He nudged my chin. They were both sick bastards! It was called rape. He turned back to Him. "I'm going to go set up the closet, it wont take too long. Watch them." Jorg turned and clicked the closet door closed behind him. Damn! I forgot how roomey and big it was. We were in for it.

"Why do you have to be suck a fuck up Aimee?" My dad said to me. "And according to Jorg you're a fuck up too son." He directed towards Bill.

To hell with it. "We're the fuck ups?" I spat back, my voice laced with venom. "And what the fuck do you think you guys are doing? Oh yeah. Having the neighbor rape your daughter while you beat his kid? That's completely normal."

"What did I tell you about raising your voice at me?"

"I don't even care anymore, no matter what I say or do I get punished, so why not get smart back?" This seemed to enrage him. He pushed Bill harshly into the wall and I wish I could go comfort him.

"Look at you!" He sang. "You're crumpled on the floor, with nowhere to go. If you're lucky enough maybe Jorg will put you out of your misery? You'd like that wouldn't you?" He laughed. His eyes glazed over and he randomly asked, "Do you love me?"

I shook my head. "I don't love you."

"But you love this gay fuck over there?"

"Bill isn't fucking gay, and yes." I paused. "I love you Bill!" I yelled towards him.

He blushed despite his circumstances. "I love you too." He said quietly. I don't think he wanted Him to hear, he didn't want either of us to get in anymore trouble than we already were.

He looked royally pissed off. "I'm going to fucking hurt that motherfucker." He mumbled.

I didn't have a chance to reply because someone yanked me from behind. Bill looked panicked and I was terrified. I was carried away into the darkness. Hot breath was attacking my neck and it smelled like mildew in here. I was so weak I didn't feel like putting up a fight, so I just laid there limp in the arms of Jorg. I tried not to wonder about what was up his sleeves, the worst I could think of was murder. And I think I was just getting myself paranoid.

"Are you ready princess?" He asked in a sickly sweet voice. I didn't answer. He stood my up straight, and I swayed. I was too dizzy to be standing. "Don't worry cutie, you'll be on your back soon enough." Ah, so he was going to rape me?

Jorg was being oddly gentle to me at first. He was just raking his eyes over my body, running his hands everywhere. Then it was time to yank my clothes off. My shirt was the first to go, he pawed at my boobs, he commented on how perfect they were. He laid me down on a little bench thing we had in there and eased me out of my pants. Then fiercely yanked off my underwear.

Is it bad that I just laid there and took everything? I didn't think so. I mean there was no way I'd get away at the rate of my weak state. He bound my hands over my head with rope. "There's no getting away tonight sweetie." He breathed on my neck. "Time to bring in Bill!" Jorg yelled to Him, who was still in the other room with Bill. He didn't deserve anything that was about to happen in here.

My dad yanked Bill in, and his worried little eyes searched the dim lit room, his eyes landing on my face. I was in an awkward situation, but I didn't care at the moment. Jorg turned to me undoing his pants. His happiness sprung free and he harshly entered me. A little gasp escaped my lips.

"No!" Bill yelled, trying to rebel against my dad wasn't going to help any. It would only make him get hurt worse. "Aimee!" He yelled. I couldn't process anything besides the fact I was being raped my boyfriends dad. I slowly faded into the darkness. I wished I didn't wake up until everything was over.

XxX

I screamed as loud as I could. Something hot was digging into my skin and I wanted it off. My eyes flew open and Jorg was standing over me with a cigarette, mashing the lit end into my hip. I tried to wriggle away from it's touch, but that only made him push harder. I was breathing heavy and the pain was killing me, why was my world so screwed up?

"You were a good fuck." He said calmly down at me.

"Where's Bill?" I asked ignoring his remark.

"Bill is home. I do say your dad took care of him really good. Dumb fuck deserved every little piece of what came to him." He put the cigarette out in the ashtray next to him. "I guess I could untie you am I right?" I slowly nodded. He yawned. "I need to fucking sleep."

I just kept ignoring him, I cant believe he was talking like everything was going to be okay. After today nothing was ever going to be the same for me or Bill again, and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I just couldn't afford to lose Bill, he meant too much to me. I love him.

After Jorg untied me he just walked out of the door and left. I took that as my chance to pull on my pants carefully, missing the burn on my hip. I dressed and quietly walked up the steps, hoping my dad wasn't home. I wished he would just drop off the face of the earth, but wishes never came true.

He was home though. He was making loud noises in the living room, I surveyed him and he looked like a war was going on in his head. He picked up a Louisville Slugger and walked towards me. "I'm so sorry Aimee, but you have to be taken care of. You know too much." What in the hell was he talking about? He choked on a sob. "I love you baby, and I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. It's just that it's been so hard on my since your mother died." He paused. "I'm going to do us both a favor."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"After I kill you, I'm taking my life." He said simply. My eyes started to water over. I knew I went through a lot today, but I wasn't ready to die just yet. I loved Bill and I wanted to have a future with him, and I wasn't letting my dad control that for me. His eyes blanked out. "I love you baby." He said one last time before he picked up the heavy bat and swung it at me head.

I surprisingly dodged it and it came crashing down on the TV busting the screen out, sending sparks and glass everywhere. The bat had flown out of his hand, smacking at the front door. I took my opportunity and leaped my sore body over to it and grasped it. I held it in a hitting stance, there was no way he was going to try and kill me.

"What the fuck? You don't have to try and fucking kill us, you could always pray for forgiveness! You sick bastard." I shrieked. My body was racking on sobs, and I tried to sooth them away by sniffling every now and then.

"Praying wont save what I've done." He said hopelessly. He pulled a gun out of his pocket and aimed it at me. I noticed the safety was on, but I don't think he noticed it. The bastard was going to kill me. My face paled as he pulled the trigger and nothing happened. He could have killed me. As soon as he removed the safety I pounced on him.

I jerked back my arms and made the bat connect with his head. It made a sickening crunch and he fell limp on the ground. I fell next to his dead body and cried.

I had just killed someone…

**O_O What did you guys think? Sound rushed at all? I was trying to hurry up. But anyways, there will only be a few chapters left D: I know, I enjoyed typing this story. :3**

**-STALKER QUESTION TIME :D**

**- When you hear the word Minnesota what did you think of? [made me think of moose and snow? And Canada lol]**

**-What is your favorite food that's unhealthy to eat in the middle of the night? [I just ate some pizza, because I couldn't resist :3]**

**-Favorite smiley? [I like :] :3 ^-^]**

**- When's your birthday? O_O lol [Mines Jan. 6, 1994]**

**-What word cant you pronounce? [ I cant say quite a few words, but 'Asked' gets meh]**

**REVIEW? :D [if you do, you get your name on the list at the beginning note :D] **


	19. Confidence

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life; Bianca Star, malec 4 eva, XxMyHedleyRomancexX**

**-Thank you guys so much for staying with my through this story :] It has been a joy writing it, it really has. This was my first ever Tokio Hotel FanFiction, and I want to thank my Australian for inspiring me to keep writing :3 We met through this story, and I'm glad, because she's now one of my closest friends. ILY! :D**

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 19: Confidence.

I felt like I was being suffocated with all the guilt, should I even feel guilty? I knew that for a long time he's been hurting me, but nonetheless he was my dad, I still felt some unknown emotion towards him. I knew he'd always said he was going to kill me and stuff, but I never actually dreamt that he would pull a gun out on me. I shuddered.

I was laying there crying next to his body. I couldn't take it anymore! I flung the front door open and dizzily made my way down the porch steps, I felt like I was going to faint. I made it to my tree, I went to put my arms out to steady myself, but I felt myself tilt and I fell. It felt like slow motion but I knew all too well I was going to be in so much pain when I would be able to stand. I felt my reflexes start to ache, I threw up.

I heard a loud commotion in Bill's yard. I tried to lift my head up to see what was going on but I couldn't really gather the strength. I heard Georg's worried voice, and quick footsteps in my direction. He picked me up and cradled me to his chest, his expression was worried, hurt and panicked.

His voice was strained. "Oh Aimee, what happened?"

I let the tears spill over and clung to his shirt, I felt oddly scared again. "I'm so sorry!" I stammered. "I didn't mean to, he was.. just…" My voice must have been hysterical! I was freaking out and crying all over the place.

He shushed me. "Calm down please? I'll help you, just tell me what's wrong." He smiled, trying to calm me down.

"I need to talk to Bill." I stated simply, sniffling away the rest of the tears. I looked up into his worried eyes. "Please?"

He hesitated. "Um, as you know what went down last night… I don't think he's in the condition for company."

"Please?" I tried again in a weak tone. It was my last attempt to trying to see Bill, maybe he would know what to do, I could only hope.

"No Aims." He sighed.

"Simone then?" I asked, sounding sad.

"You make me feel like I'm useless or something." He chuckled, despite my mood. He sat me down gently, and I immediately latched myself onto his waist, not trusting my balance at the moment. He got out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Simone?" He asked. "Come outside, Aimee wants to talk to you." A couple of pauses and Simone walked out their front door.

"Can it just be me and her to talk?" I asked Georg, I didn't want to sound rude or anything.

He sighed sadly. "Sure." He waited until she was there to leave me, incase I fell or something. She took my happily in her motherly arms.

"I guess you want to talk about last night huh?" She said sounding ashamed.

I shook my head. "Not right not, I want to talk about something I just did, and, and, I just don't know what to do about it!" I sobbed.

She shushed me. "What is it sweetie? What did you do?"

I choked on a wave of tears. "He was trying to hurt me bad earlier, he had a gun, and…"

I felt her stiffen around my tense body. "What happened?" She said in a fierce tone, she wasn't playing around anymore. She wanted to get down to business and get my answers.

"I killed him." I sobbed louder.

She sighed sadly. "I guess everything is over now, once I call the cops, I'm going to have to put Jorg away too, since he was a big part of what happened last night too."

"I'm sorry?" It came out more like a question than anything.

She shakily laughed. "Oh sweetie! There is nothing to be sorry about. That sick bastard has taken things too far, for too long! I just cant believe I kept letting it happen." She gently ran her fingers through my hair. "You know why Tom didn't anything last night?"

"I was wondering that."

She sighed. "Well, ever since I married that man, he would make Tom help him hurt Bill." I gasped. "It was never Tom or me. It was always Bill who would get hurt, it was because of the way he dressed." She paused. "I feel like such a bad parent, I wish I had the guts to do something about it. And the sad thing is, it took your dad and my husband hurting you guys together to make me realize it."

She led me to her house and sat me down on the couch. I instantly pulled my legs to my chest and went back to crying. I had no desire to be close to her or anyone for that matter when the cops came. I dreaded it. I hated confrontations, and this I would have to say, is a big one. I mean I couldn't get into trouble about it since it was self defense right? I was just seriously worrying about it a little too much.

I felt someone set down next to me, but I didn't think too much about it, I just went back to my thoughts. I was such a mess, I didn't want to face anyone at the moment. Until that familiar voice soothed me.

"I guess nothing is going to be the same, is it?" Bill said, his voice sounded pained and broken.

I stopped to look at him, his eyes were glazed over and just looking ahead. I cant believe my 'dad' did that to him. I sighed, no way in hell is that my dad, he was a monster. Tears fell over again, but I kept them silent. "Nothing's the same, and I'm so fucking scared of change. I'm scared."

He gently and painfully put his poor arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry love, I'm scared too. And I'm sorry for everything that bastard put you through. I couldn't take him, I cant imagine him hurting you, you're way smaller than me. It must have been hell."

I sadly smiled. "Let's not worry about that now." I looked up at him sadly. "He tried to kill me you know?" Bill let out a deep breath. "But I ended up killing him in self defense."

"Oh Aimee, I wish I could have been there to help you out." He stated sadly.

"Don't worry about it, it's in the past now. All that matters is that we're both safe." I smiled up at him. "I love you."

He lightly laughed. "I'll never get tired of hearing that." He kissed me fully on the lips, no tongue, not a peck, just simply romantic. "I love you too." He breathed against my lips when he came up for air.

"Eww!" We heard Tom chorus from the hallway. I playfully flipped him off. Ah, this was going to be the start of something beautiful and new.

Simone bounded in looking a bit frazzled. She smiled at Bill and I curled up on the couch with each other. "I'm sorry to break up this love fest, but the cops need to talk to you Aimee." She said sadly. "And don't worry about anything, just tell the truth to them, they'll believe you.

I shakily stood and nodded. "Well here goes nothing." I said quietly. Bill gave my hand one last squeeze before letting go.

"Wait!" Tom yelled bounding up beside me. I gave him a questioning glance. "Let's just say I knew what was happening with you."

I smiled sadly. "I kind of figured."

"And I'm sorry for not doing anything about it."

I laughed sadly. "Don't worry about it, it was my problem, and either way it's over." I smiled.

He engulfed me in a giant Tom hug. "I love you Aimee," He restated that. I could hear him blushing in his voice. I rolled my eyes. "I mean, well, you know, as a sister."

I shushed him. "It's okay Tom, I love you too, like a brother."

"Get going, you know how those cops are!" Simone scolded.

I bounded down their front yard, seeing the ambulance pull off rather quickly, made me sigh in relief. At least He wasn't going to be here when I ratted him out. I shook everything negative out of my head.

"Excuse me, Miss Nevaeh?" I nodded. "We have some questions for you, would you please step over here real quick?" I did as he asked. "Tell me everything…" His voice held sympathy.

"Well, it all started when my mom died…" I started off, and to my surprise he listened, wrote everything I said down. And to seal the deal, he believed me.

I stood there for over an hour, telling my story confidently…

**:D awhs, that's all! One more chapter until the end :3 I know this one was short, but my computer is being a jerk, and I'd rather have this up, than nothing at all? :] I need to know what you guys think, Pwetty Pwease? :D**

***REVIEW* :3**


	20. Alaney

**[My reviewers]: Shaker10; XxShelbyxKaulitzxX; michelleandjulia; lpwriter4life; Bianca Star, malec 4 eva, XxMyHedleyRomancexX**

**-Ah, more will be explained in this story :3 This will be the last chapter, and thank you guys, you all are awesome. Sadly there wont be a sequel :/ I know it! I want to write one, but I doubt it would be too decent :[ But anyways I have a new story up, it's about a girl who sleeps around a lot, so if you don't like to read about sex, or whatever don't check it out, because she is a whore :] It's called Phantomrider :3**

**-Ah, I'm going to skip over the court scene, since I have no idea on how things work, but I'm going to try to make this chapter long to make up for missing pieces, okay? :3 And you guys will have a ton of stalker questions if you'd like : ) **

*WARNING ABUSE*

Chapter 20: Alaney

I wiped the final tears from my eyes as the officers talked to me, it felt amazing to get all this tension off my chest. A big weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I wish it could have ended better for my dad. I know, look at Aimee with her soft side. I couldn't help but feel sorry for the man though, even though it feels amazing to know I'm finally free from his murderous grasp. It was either going to be me or him to die, and for once, I've realized; I'm not ready to die.

I was dismissed after I told the cop my long and abusive story, I still couldn't get over the fact that he believed me. And I was going to tell Bill everything too, we were going to have to sit down and talk about everything that has been going on. Because I know as well as him, I'm not the only one being hurt here. I still couldn't believe someone would want to put their hands on Bill though, he was such a sweetheart. He was my best friend.

He is my everything, and I knew from day one that we were meant for each other, call that a hunch, but my feelings were right. We were both hiding a serious part of our lives from each other, and I cant believe it took this huge incident to finally do something about it. It hurts to think Bill hid this from me, but I also hid it, so we are both at fault here. The past was past, now all we had to do was sort it out and move forward. It sounds pretty amazing to me.

I turned on my heels to go back to Simone's house, there was a shiny green BMW in their driveway. Yeah, that was definitely not there when I came out here. I guess I didn't notice it when I was in my story, it was pretty intense. I decided to ignore the tingling feeling in my stomach, it was probably another investigator or something, they were pretty annoying.

I was faintly sweating, and I was in need of water, and maybe some food. My dad wasn't here to force me to not eat anymore, I can finally get healthy. My heart swelled at not being too skinny anymore, I despised my eating disorder with a hot and fiery passion. I'm going to have to get over my phobia of being huge, because I know I'm deathly tiny.

I sucked in a huge breath, stood up straight and threw open the front door slowly, but I still managed to make a ton of noise. Bill met my eyes from the kitchen counter and rushed his worried self over to me. He looped his boney arms painfully around my fragile body; and cried. Seeing him cry made me want to break down, but I don't think I had it in me anymore. Instead I just held him tightly, but not too tight to hurt his poor body. I shushed him and assured everything was going to be alright now, everything would now.

We broke apart and I wiped the remaining tears off his cheeks, he smiled despite the situation. "I love you so much it hurts." He sniffled.

I smiled back at him. "I love you too, and I don't know what I would have done without you. You've gotten me through so much shit, and you probably don't know." He quirked an eyebrow at me. I laughed and pecked him on his parted mouth. "Knowing I would get to see you everyday gave me hope, because just seeing you made my day amazing. Did you know that Bill?" I smiled up at him and gently snuggled closer in his arms.

He sighed contently. "Sadly I didn't know," I frowned. "But I know what you mean, I knew there was something troubling you, I just didn't know what. I guess Tom was right on the money, he knows the signs, and apparently we both bear the same signs." I just shrugged. I heard him give a weak laugh, poor guy, it probably hurt to do so. "And everyday that I saw you my heart burned, so I knew I loved you from the moment I saw you." He gave a lazy grin.

"Ah, so love at first sight?" I grinned back. I wasn't the one to believe in love at first sight, but meeting my soul mate surely changed that one quick. When I met Bill, I may not have wanted to admit it, but deep down I knew he was meant for me.

Someone tapped me on my shoulder. I carefully turned myself in Bill's arms to see a worried Tom. "Someone would like to talk to you Aims." He didn't know whether to smile or not.

"Who's that?" I said in a tiring voice, all I wanted to do was curl up with Bill for the rest of eternity, in our happy cocoon.

He cleared his throat nervously. "She's sitting on the couch waiting for you." The couch? Wow, I must have been in a blur when I walked in here because the couch was directly behind Bill.

I stepped out of the comfort of Bills arms and I froze. My eyes fell on a person I never thought I'd be seeing again. She was more tan that I remembered, hair as blonde as ever. "Alana?" I asked in disbelief.

She got up quietly and walked towards me. Silent tears streamed down her face, it looked like she didn't know where to begin. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands, trying not to make her makeup smear, I rolled my eyes but faintly grinned. She looked around nervously for a few beats before she started talking.

"I don't even know where to begin!" She breathed out sadly. She grabbed my hand, and I in turn grabbed Bill's and he grabbed Tom's, we let her lead us to the kitchen. We each took a seat. She made eye contact with me. "You have no idea how sorry I am Aimee." Her tears overflowed her gorgeous face.

"Why did you come back?" I asked sadly, looking at the table. I couldn't bear to look at her face right now, too many old memories were resurfacing. Bill slid his hand along my thigh in a comforting manner, I grasped his hand and rubbed soothing circles on it. I realized I haven't told Bill, or anyone about what has went on between me and Alana, besides the fact a ton of shit went down, and we used to be best friends.

"The cops called my house talking to my dad, and then he put me on the phone to have a go with them. What is going on?" She asked, her voice sounding desperate for answers.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked sadly.

"I'm your best friend, I deserve some closure about you, am I right?" She said, sounding confident that her little tactic worked.

I scoffed in her direction. "You stopped being my best friend when you walked out of my life when I needed you most. Why's that?" I answered her question with another question. If I had any choice I could just let her walk out of my life again, I was perfectly happy with just Bill and the guys.

A new round of tears started up for her. "Oh Aimee!" She whined, clinging on to my free arm. Bill was giving her shifty looks and Tom looked down right uncomfortable. She looked at my scars openly. "You didn't do this to get attention did you? This shit was legitly destroying your life." I took my arm gently away from her.

"Why didn't you believe me when I told you all those years ago?" I asked meeting her sad eyes with a pair of my own.

"I was so scared Aimee, I didn't know what to do. So I did the only thing I thought was right, I fled." She gulped noisily. "I regret my decision deeply." She sniffed, wiping her nose messily on her sweater. Very odd, Alana was uppity-uppity, she never did stuff like that. She must have been telling the truth.

I was still in denial, she could care about me. "You could have came back at any time you know." I bit back.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to doll, my dad moved across country with his job and all." She gazed sadly ahead. "I knew I'd lose contact from you anyways, me pushing myself away from you made me think you'd actually try to get help."

I looked at her incredulously. "You have no idea how long I tried to get help! Eventually when people didn't believe me, I filled the role of the little abused daughter." I blinked back tears. I was sick of crying. "You have no idea what its like to have a whole town think you are a liar do you?" She sadly shook her head. "Well it hurts, so eventually I just gave up. I mean in my mind I deserved what he gave me."

Bill's hand tightened around mine. I squeezed back. "Aimee," Alana started. "Please give me a second chance at being your friend? I swear I'll be here for you no matter what this time."

"Why couldn't you have been here for me when I needed you most? Back in the field, remember?" I knew she did remember.

"Can we move past this?" She said in defeat. "We were both young, and I was so confused. I didn't know what to do Aims." She cried. "Please?" She tried again.

"Where did you guys move to?" I side stepped her question.

"Alaska." She stated grimly. Woah, that was thousands of miles away from here. "And I drove all the way down here to check on you, so don't you dare say I don't care about you anymore, because I do care." She sniffled away he remaining of her tears.

I wriggled my hand out of Bill's and placed my arms in front of her. I motioned to my scars. She looked at them in wonder, she wasn't disgusted, she looked like she regretted every last scar on my body. Alana lifted a shaky hand to them, and lightly traced the deepest of ones. "I tried to kill myself there." I stated lightly.

She inhaled shakily. "Do they each have a story?"

I sadly nodded, I wasn't proud of them, but I felt that she had a right to know about them. "I've only tried to take my life a few times, but the others were ways to take away the pain when I had no one."

Alana then knocked back her chair in her haste to get up so quickly. "Stand up please?" She asked me quietly.

"Umm?" But I complied, I didn't know what she was up to, but I trusted her on it. I stood on my two shaky legs. She wrapped her arms tightly around my tiny frame, and I hugged her back. She was so much bigger than me! It made me feel like such a little kid being wrapped in a motherly embrace. I felt so small and vulnerable. "I really did miss you Alaney." I sighed into her neck.

She laughed in relief. "I've missed you so much too." She broke our hug and held me at arms length. "Oh god, I think you're smaller than I remember you being last too! What are you size invisible?" She exclaimed.

"Haha." I said sarcastically. "Bill's going to help me out on my eating habits and stuff." I smiled over at him. He looked vibrant and happy to see us made up.

"Ah, and Bill must be the boyfriend?" She gloated. "I cant believe you have a boyfriend!" She sang happily.

I felt my cheeks blush. I entwined our fingers together and pulled him up to me, I gave him a gentle hug. He kissed me on my forehead. "Ew!" She snorted. I laughed with her, I cant believe things were going so smoothly between us. I knew I would tell her everything, but I didn't want to just yet. I had to talk to Bill alone, about Jorg.

"Sorry, but I'm really tired from everything that's happened these past few days so…" I trailed off talking to Alana.

She smiled brightly at me. "Of course dear! You go get your rest, and I've rented this little hotel just around the corner, so I'll be back soon. I'd really like to catch up with you." She gave a hopeful grin.

I laughed. "We have too much to catch up on!"

"Which is why we get a start on it early." She finished.

"I love you Alaney." I sang, wrapping my arms around her in a giant hug. "I'm glad you came back."

"I love you too Aims, and I'm glad I did too, and I'm still sorry for everything I put you through with leaving." She concluded. I nodded sadly at her. She told everyone bye and promised to be back really soon.

I randomly ruffled Tom's dreads. "You're being awfully quiet down there."

He smirked. "I don't know how you feel about this, but we may have an issue." He stated worriedly.

"What's your issue?" I asked.

"I think I'm in love." He stated matter-of-factly. "With Alana. I know it seems insane, but I've never felt this way before."

Me and Bill exchanged intrigued glances and we both grinned at each other. I kissed Tom on the cheek. "I'm sure she'll love you, I mean who wouldn't? You are amazing."

"Hey now, starting to get jealous." Bill pouted, latching himself onto my side.

I smiled at him, attacking his lips with mine. "We have to talk." I said, business tone coming out.

He sighed. "I know." He pulled away slowly and led me to his bedroom.

XxX

"Bill?" I asked sadly. He acknowledged me with a hum. He was laying on his back on his bed, and I was carefully resting my head on his chest, he was stroking my hair. "What's going to happen to Jorg?"

He sighed. "My mom took care of it, about right now, he should be in jail. Next week is court where we settle out our futures."

"I'm scared of what's going to happen." I said simply. I was most definitely terrified.

He pinched my cheeks lightly. I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm scared too honey, but we got to take this one step at a time, and at least we have each other right?"

"Right."

"Plus now we don't have to worry about waking up living in complete hell now." His voice was sad.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did happen to you?" I thought that over. "What did Jorg… do to you?" I almost didn't want to know, but it was a part of Bill, and I would accept him no matter what.

"Well," He started off. Wow, I couldn't believe he was just going to tell me. "When I was a little kid my mom got remarried to Jorg, and he would always tease me about how I would act and stuff. Apparently gay? Just because I liked to dress up and wear dresses sometimes didn't mean I was gay…" I opened my mouth to talk. "Don't even say anything." I heard the smirk in his voice. I giggled. "Well, it all started out as teasing, and when I grew up, the hits started."

"Things were just getting so unbearable, so I decided to start cutting myself. Tom found out and he tried to do something to stop Jorg, well nothing happened except that he almost killed Tom. Ever since then, Jorg has made him help him in torturing me." I let out a shaky breath listening to him talk. "I love Tom to death, so I could never hold anything against him, and I completely understood."

"Do you remember the first day I came to school, and in Spanish class I was all tense?" I nodded. "I got a back to school beating. "Remember when I told you Rette Mich?" I only nodded again. "It means Save Me." I sighed in frustration. I could have done something. "Remember when we got in the hot tub and I wore a wife beater? Bruised littered my body…"

"Oh god." I choked out. "You were being hurt right under my nose and I didn't even know." I sighed. And now I felt bad because I didn't cry, but I was too wore out.

"Don't worry, I was scared to tell you Aimee… I knew you had some serious issues going on, and I didn't want to burden you with mine." He smiled sadly at me.

"We get to start off fresh now." I said excitedly and sitting on him gently. I bent down and kissed him sweetly.

XxX

Stepping out into the bright sunlight of the courthouse, hand in hand with Bill. Smiles littered our faces as cameras flashed everywhere, our storied made headlined everywhere. I could care less what people thought at the moment, as long as I was happy and in love with my wonderful boyfriend. If you're wondering, it's months later now, and the court is finally over.

Jorg got put away for life, and Simone has taken custody of me. It makes me smile hugely all over again. Tom and Alana hand in hand approached us and we all sadly smiled at each other. A tough chapter was closing in our lives, but that just means it was time for a new one to open, I couldn't wait to see what was in store for all of us.

Georg and Gus bounded into me, I threw my arms around both of them. I haven't been able to see them in a while because I was so busy with the court and catching up on sleep. I loved those guys like crazy, they were the brothers I never had. And Simone was now the mom I never had too. I was just so excited in life.

I kissed the back of Bill's pretty hand and raised it to the clear sky.

"Here's to a new beginning!" I cheered.

"I second that!" Bill cheered with me.

The camera people seemed to be eating this up, the flashes grew wilder and pretty soon we were all scrambling towards Alana's BMW. Seating arrangements were tough, but trust me, we all managed to squeeze. Four in the back and her and Tom up front. Oh did I mention that Alana and Tom have been steadily dating for almost a month now? They are so cute together!

Bill shifted uncomfortably in his squished seat, we were both going to be happy later on. We promised each other that we were going to wait to make love until we were in the clear and everything was the happily every after that we wished for. Well that's finally going to come true, and to tell you the truth, I was excited. I'm technically a virgin, I've never slept with a guy willingly. And I'm glad I was going to share this experience with Bill.

We noisily pulled up to our house. "You should definitely get your poor car checked out Alaney!" I sang, hopping out of the car.

She smirked. "If I didn't have to lug a billion people around at once I'm pretty sure everything would be in order." I rolled my eyes.

I grabbed Bill's hand and we slowly walked into his room, both knowing what was about to happen, but too antsy to say something about it. We closed the door gently and turned the lock, there was no way in hell that we were going to be walked in on. The guys would never let us live this one down.

"I love you." I said, my voice betraying the lust that was held within.

He smirked. "I love you too." He led me to the bed and we slowly undressed each other. Having sex was different than making love, and I love Bill. I've never felt anything so amazing before in my life, I never wanted it to end. We held each others hand as we slipped into the light.

Did I mention I loved this guy?

**:D OMIGAWD, I think I'm going to cry, I can't believe this story is finally over :'/ my first ever Tokio Hotel fan fiction. I'm grateful for this story because without so I would have never met my best friend Shilo :3 aka Shaker10. She is amazing. And of course I would have never made it without my lovely reviewers, without them I prolly wouldn't have updated too much :/**

**-Anyways REVIEW! :D Tell me what you thought? And like I promised, STALKER QUESTIONS! They will be epic this time.**

**-What deodorant do you wear? [ Ban- Satin Breeze]**

**-How did you figure out about Tokio Hotel? [Getting ready for school one morning and I saw Bill singing Ready, Set, Go! And I was like YES! This dude is hot.. Then I thought he was a chick, and I was about to become lesbian, and then I was like pshhh that is a dude, and left it at that… super long story xD]**

**-Look to your left, what's there? [A chair and pool manual.]**

**-Look up, what's there? [aha, the ceiling.]**

**-Favorite smell? [My friends Perfume :3]**

**-Are you listening to music? If so what? [Hinder- Without you]**

***Sniffles* That was my last set of stalker questions you guys :'/**


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